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Protecting Your Child
Posted: Wednesday September 08, 1999 06:19 PM
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Photo illustration by Amy Guip, Photographs by llinois Department of Corrections; San Bernardino Sheriff's Office; Shreveport Times; Pasadena Star-News; Allegheny County Police; Phoenix Sheriff's Office
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By Don Yeager
Discuss this topic on the Sports Parents message board.
It would be easy, while reading about the likes of Norman
Watson and Michael Hughes, to forget that the overwhelming majority of coaches
on America's youth sports fields are there for all the right reasons. These
coaches should be thanked, not subjected to a witch hunt. Nevertheless, a number
of coaches have been convicted of child molestation, and the National Center for
Missing and Exploited Children, the FBI and the mothers and fathers of some
victims offer the following tips to help parents protect their
children:
DO A BACKGROUND CHECK
Ask your league (or school) whether it does criminal-history or any other types
of background checks on coaches. If it doesn't, ask why not. Many states and
cities have policies allowing volunteer organizations that serve children to
have criminal checks run for free by police. (If your state or city has no such
policy, a criminal check by police should cost no more than $40 per coach.) Some
states make their registry of sex offenders available on the Internet. Checks
shouldn't be limited to criminal records, however. If the coach has coached in
other leagues, call those leagues to make sure he wasn't accused of any sexual
improprieties.
DON'T TURN YOUR CHILD'S COACH INTO A
BABYSITTER
Don't drop your child off at games and practices and leave. Studies show that
men predisposed to molest children often prey first on those regularly left
unattended by parents. By being present, you let the coach know you are actively
involved in your child's
life.
DON'T FALL FOR
FLATTERY
Be wary of any coach who says he's the one person who can help your oh-so-gifted
child develop into a star or who spends an unusually large amount of time with
the child "because he's such a wonderful kid." The coach may be trying
to win your trust and groom your child for
seduction.
TALK TO YOUR CHILD AND THEN
LISTEN
Describe for your son or daughter what you consider inappropriate behavior by a
coach (improper touching of his players, showing them pornographic material and
so on). Make sure your child knows that if a coach says, "You can't tell
your mom or dad" about something the coach is doing, the first thing the
child should do is tell Mom or Dad. Assure your child that he or she will never
get in trouble with you for telling the truth. If your child's interest in his
sport or team suddenly diminishes for no apparent reason, ask
why.
BEWARE OF COACHES BEARING
GIFTS
"If it looks too good to be true, it probably is," Watson said from
prison when asked whether he had any words of caution for parents. Watson took
his player-victims to the mall and bought them games, clothes and athletic
equipment. "All that should have been a sign," the FBI's Roger Young
says. "That's not normal behavior for a nonparent."
STAY
INFORMED
Some coaches don't want parents to know where the team will be staying on a road
trip. These coaches often say that the presence of parents hinders team
development. Bad sign. Demand to know. Also, ask what the arrangements are for
showering after games and practices. There's generally no reason for children to
be nude in the presence of the coach and no reason for the coach to be naked in
the presence of a
child.
Discuss this topic on the Sports Parents message board.
Issue date: September 13, 1999
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