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Family first Dayne puts daughter above football accomplishments
Posted: Thursday December 09, 1999 08:58 PM
MADISON, Wis. (AP) -- Ask Jada Dayne what her daddy does, and her 2-year-old arms reach for the sky. She's signaling a touchdown. "When she sees Ron on television, she knows 3-3," said Jada's mother, Alia Lester. Jada's father has worn No. 33 for Wisconsin the last four years, and during that time, he rushed for more yards than anyone in major college football history. On Saturday, he's the odds-on favorite to become just the second Heisman Trophy winner in his school's history. On Saturday, he's the odds-on favorite to become just the second Heisman Trophy winner in his school's history. On Thursday, he received the Maxwell Award as the best all-around player and the Doak Walker Award as the outstanding running back.But Ron Dayne professes no great love for the records he set and the games he won for the Badgers. He saves his most personal, passionate feelings for the family this city kid has built for himself in idyllic Madison, a thousand miles from the difficult upbringing he survived in New Jersey. Dayne admits he isn't the normal modern-day college football star. His temperament and his preternatural maturity won't allow it. "I take everything seriously," he said. "You have somebody looking up to you at all times, watching what you're doing, even trying to copy what you're doing. It makes you do everything better." And in return, Dayne has the unconditional support of Alia, Jada and his younger sister, Onya, the three women in his life. "(We're) his backbone," said Onya, a freshman discus thrower at Wisconsin. "(When) there's a lot of media around, there's some people talking bad about him or talking good, we're always there. Whatever decision he makes in anything, I'm always going to have his back. He knows that." In his new family, Dayne sees a way to put right the troubles that colored his own youth: His parents' divorce, his father's violence against his mother and his mother's addiction to crack cocaine. Ron and Onya were sent to live with relatives when their own family disintegrated, and Dayne was forced to be mature beyond his years. He became a steadying force in the life of his sister, as well as an example to those who knew him as more than an oversized running back with a penchant for destroying defensive backs. Dayne began learning his protective nature early, while shepherding his extended family through adolescence. Instead of becoming involved with the perils of the street, he and Onya and his cousins played together, often in a conglomeration of games they collectively called the Olympics. "Somebody had to do something different all the time," Dayne recalled. "We did all kinds of things. Soccer, hockey, basketball, football, baseball, 100-yard dash, everything. I had some cousins that were faster than me, but I competed." Rob Reid, a minister in Woodbury, N.J., was the uncle that took in Dayne and kept him on the right track. Dayne has craved the influence of father figures his entire life, and Reid filled the role. Dayne found another surrogate father of sorts in Barry Alvarez, his coach at Wisconsin. The two have been exceptionally close throughout Dayne's four years, with the star player frequently joining Alvarez's family for dinner or conversation. "Probably from the time Ron showed up on his recruiting visit, we seem to have struck up a very close bond and relationship," Alvarez said. "He feels very comfortable coming in and visiting with me. I really do think we have a unique relationship, and one that I'm going to miss when he leaves." In the past year, Dayne has spent more time than ever in Alvarez's office, as the student and teacher begin to build a man-to-man relationship. "I love coach Alvy," Dayne said. "Some guys are scared to go talk to Coach, but me and Coach have a great relationship. Jada knows who he is when she sees him on television or in books." Alvarez has taught Dayne lessons about being a father and a leader. He also has been part of Dayne's newfound lucidity and his ease in dealing with the demands of being a college football star. "Ron is a very sensitive person," Alvarez said. "I think he's a deep thinker. He doesn't talk a lot until he has something to say. I think he was taught that he should sit and listen until he thinks of something important to say. That's made all the attention and the awards that he's received easier to handle." Dayne also has learned from the example of his sister, who also happens to be his most vocal defender. "She's real quick, if someone says something," Dayne said. "'Ron, did you hear this? I can't believe that. I e-mailed somebody back because he said this.' I think the role has been reversed." To his sister, such things come naturally. "I'm not as soft-spoken as Ron, where he might bite his tongue for a lot of people," Onya said. "That's not me." Ditto for his longtime girlfriend, Alia. In his freshman year at Wisconsin, he began dating Lester, a bright, talented Madison native on scholarship in the university's broadcast journalism program. They have been together ever since, and two years ago, they had a child they named after Dayne's favorite actress, Jada Pinkett Smith. "My daughter is the most important thing in my life," Dayne said. "She gave me a new perspective on life. There's nothing I wouldn't do to protect her." There are further signs Dayne isn't the typical college football star. At a demanding educational institution, he's 12 hours away from his degree, which he would like to finish this spring before moving on to the NFL. And on Saturday, if he wins the Heisman, he doesn't plan on making a showy speech. Anything he might want to say can't be easily expressed with words. "I know my daughter's going to be there, and my sister, and my girl," he said. "As long as they're there ... and my aunt and uncle, and probably my mother. But as long as Jada is there, it'll be good."
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