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Mask-to-Mask

Nothing hokey about the Virginia Tech Hokie Bird

In this space each week CNNSI.com will feature an exclusive one-on-one interview with some of college football's most famous mascots. Purdue Pete, the legendary mascot from Purdue University, recently chatted with The Hokie Bird from Virginia Tech for this hard-hitting, mask-to-beak interview.

Purdue Pete: Hello. It is good to have our first feathered mascot here on CNNSI.com. As well as our first representative of the Big East.

Hokie Bird: Thanks for having me, Pete. It is great to have the international publicity.

Purdue Pete: As soon as we decided to focus on you for our article, there has been one question circulating the office. What the heck is a Hokie?

Hokie Bird: I'm a descendant of the turkey family.

Purdue Pete: I had heard a rumor that you were ... ah ... how shall I put this?

Hokie Bird: A castrated turkey? Is that what you are trying to say?

Purdue Pete: Yes. I'm glad you said it.

Hokie Bird: I don't know how that rumor started. I've heard it many times. It is just something that has developed over the years. Most likely by some UVA fans.

Purdue Pete: So, you're saying it's not true.

Hokie Bird: It most certainly is not true.

Purdue Pete: Well, You'd be the expert. I'll just take your word on that one. I hate to keep picking on you, but you appear to be a little out of shape.

Hokie Bird: You're looking at my gut, aren't you?

Purdue Pete: Well, it's a little hard to miss.

Hokie Bird: I know, I know. I have a big belly. But I'll tell ya, my belly is where I get all my power. And as you can see, I'm very powerful. I'm proud of the way I look. I think people put too much pressure on being skinny.

Purdue Pete: Your size must be a major factor when you battle other mascots. One battle I wanted to ask you about was a little tiff you had a few years ago with Miami's Sebastian the Ibis. It started out harmless, but you guys really started going at it. From what I understand you smacked him in the head pretty hard. What happened?

Hokie Bird: He had this water gun and he wouldn't stop shooting me. So I smacked him across the face to get him to stop. I guess I smacked him harder than I meant to. It was as bad situation. I just didn't know my own strength. The media made a bigger deal out of it than it really was. They talked about it on Leno and Letterman. It wasn't that big of a deal.

Purdue Pete: How is the relationship between you two now?

Hokie Bird: It's better. I'm anxious to just put this controversy to rest. The last time we met, our athletic directors wouldn't let us cross the 50-yard line. I guess they were afraid the feud hadn't ended. Maybe we can be friends again. But if comes at me, it's back to business.

Purdue Pete: What's your relationship like with other mascots you face.

Hokie Bird: Pretty good. But I don't know why they need all these weapons. The West Virginia Mountaineer carries a gun, for crying out loud. Rutgers has a sword. So does the Virginia Cavalier.

Purdue Pete: Does that concern you?

Hokie Bird: Oh, no. They can bring it on. I have been practicing in the new art of Hokie-fu.

Virginia Tech Hokie The Virginia Tech Hokie is proud to strut his big belly around as he dances the hokeypokey.  

Purdue Pete: Hokie-fu? What's that?

Hokie Bird: It's a fighting art that combines martial arts and professional wrestling. I developed it myself. I have been watching a lot of WWF and WCW on TV.

Purdue Pete: I'd concentrate on the WCW -- it's a Turner-owned company, as is CNNSI.

Hokie Bird: That's right. OK, WCW it is.

Purdue Pete: The Hokie name still intrigues me. The only other place I've heard it is in that Hokeypokey song. You know, where you put your right arm ... I mean wing ... in, you put your right wing out and you shake it all about. Is that song popular on campus?

Hokie Bird: We play it all the time. I love our band. We try to play it after the third quarter. It's kind of cool to have a song named after you. I also had to do it at a wedding one time. The couple played the song for like a half-hour. I was a little tired when it was all over.

Purdue Pete: Sounds like you like to dance.

Hokie Bird: I love it. We just had one of my mascot buddies, Sir Purr from the Carolina Panthers, up to campus. We put on this cool dance at half time. The crowd loved it.

Purdue Pete: It must be nice to have other mascots come to campus to visit you instead of fight you.

Hokie Bird: It was a blast. We went out and hit the town that night. It was good to see him.

Purdue Pete: This weekend you have a big game against your in-state rival Virginia. What is it like to go up there midseason for such a big game?

Hokie Bird: I'm really excited. UVA is scared to play us at the end of the year. I don't care when we play them, I always get a little extra pumped for this game. We usually play them at the end of the season, around Thanksgiving. Being a descendant of the turkey family, I've heard every joke there is from their fans. We should go up there and destroy them.

Purdue Pete: What's it like playing UVA in their house?

Hokie Bird: It's no big deal. Their fans are too busy being dressed up in ties or fancy dresses to care about the game. The Cavalier is a little feminine-looking if you ask me. Again, we should have no trouble up there.

Purdue Pete: Tell me about your worst experience as mascot.

Hokie Bird: That's easy. A football game at West Virginia two years ago. I'm walking around and there are all these little kids giving me the finger. As I'm looking at them I got pelted in the head with a beer can. It was crazy.

Purdue Pete: Did you get hurt.

Hokie Bird: Luckily, no. But I'm going to wear a helmet the next time we travel to Morgantown.

Purdue Pete: Anything else you'd like to add before we go.

Hokie Bird: Well, I was reading your interview with Tennessee's Smokey from a couple of weeks ago. You guys were talking about those new inflatable mascots. I just wanted to throw my opinion into the mix.

Purdue Pete: Please, go ahead.

Hokie Bird: I hate those things. They are just a target for BB guns. I saw one at Pitt and one at the Mascot-of-the-Year competition. The Nebraska blow-up guy won the competition. All he did was bounce on his head and drive a scooter.

Purdue Pete: There seems to be a big debate on this issue. Thanks for your input and thanks for taking time to talk with us. Good luck this weekend against your rival.

Hokie Bird: UVA's going down. Thanks for having me. These articles are great. Have fun. Go Hokies!

 


 
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