Florida State-Miami. Oklahoma-Texas. Tennessee-Georgia. Penn State-Michigan. Oregon-UCLA.
All on one day.
Call it Overdose Saturday. It's enough to put a fan on the floor, fetal, foaming at the mouth.
Almost too much is at stake: The Big 12 South, the SEC East, the Big Ten and Pac-10 title races, the Florida Cup and, oh, not to mention the entire BCS bowl picture.
To keep composure, you'll need to prepare for all possible scenarios.
12 p.m. No deliberation required. Watch No. 9 Florida State at No. 1 Miami (ABC).
If Miami wins ... all is well in the world. The devil continues to uphold his contract with the 'Canes, which guarantees a Florida Cup, a second straight national championship and a Heisman for Ken Dorsey, regardless of mediocre statistics.
If Florida State wins ... Armageddon. Many, many people go into convulsions, including 'Canes' coach Larry Coker, who has no idea how to handle a loss. FSU, meanwhile, gets its name back in the national championship race.
3:30 p.m. Things get tougher from here on out. Either bring down a second TV, or be prepared to heavily work the remote.
Option 1. No. 2 Oklahoma vs. No. 3 Texas (in Dallas) (ABC).
If Oklahoma wins ... things get ugly at Texas for Chris Simms, who cements his place in history as the Ultimate Big-Game Choker. OU steals a few No. 1 votes from Miami. Or just steals No. 1 altogether, if FSU pulls off an upset.
If Texas wins ... all record of Simms' failure in 2001 is erased from UT archives, while national championship talk in Austin reaches fever pitch. Amidst the hoopla, someone will undoubtedly say, "Well, this is what you were supposed to do."
Option 2. No. 10 Tennessee at No. 6 Georgia (CBS).
If Georgia wins ... the 'Dawgs take the driver's seat in the SEC East, with Tennessee and Florida tied down in the back of the truck. Pat Dye-inspired "Man Enough–Dawg Enough" t-shirts sell like boiled peanuts as UGA cracks the top five for the first time since 1983.
If Tennessee wins ... the SEC East race levels off, with the Vols, Dawgs and Gators (if they beat LSU) each having one loss. Phil Fulmer could have a QB situation on his hands, however, if backup C.J. Leak, rather than injured starter Casey Clausen, leads the Vols to victory.
Option 3. No. 15 Penn State at No. 13 Michigan (ABC).
If Penn State wins ... AP voters unanimously lose confidence in Michigan, and the Wolverines' ranking plummets into the 20s. The Nittany Lions join Iowa as Ohio State's prime challengers for the Big Ten title.
If Michigan wins ... who knows what to make of the Big Ten after this? The Wolverines, on the heels of a big win over Penn St., could run the table up to their Nov. 23 game at Ohio State -- or UM could go and lose to Iowa, Michigan State and Wisconsin along the way.
Option 4. No. 7 Oregon at UCLA (ABC).
If Oregon wins ... the Ducks are rewarded, mildly, with a one-spot jump in the polls. Oregon remains the front-runner for the Rose Bowl, but its schedule is end-loaded: The Ducks must play USC, at Washington State, Washington and at Oregon State in the last five weeks.
If UCLA wins ... the Bruins rejoin the Top 25 after a three-week hiatus, but more importantly, Bob Toledo sends a message to the rest of the Pac-10: Maybe you've been scared of the wrong L.A. team all along.
Of course, the best option is to actually go to one of these games, get lost in the moment and let us, later in the day, fill you in on what happened. That is, after all, why we're here.
Are you in, or out?
Quite the mystery surrounds the status of Tennessee's Casey Clausen for Saturday's game against Georgia. The QB suffered an injury to his left (non-throwing) shoulder against Arkansas on Saturday. While the word Tuesday from head coach Phil Fulmer was that "[Casey]'s sore and should be fine," The Tennessean of Nashville reported Wednesday that Clausen may have a hairline fracture of his left collarbone. Which, we guess, would make Clausen a bit more than "sore."
Outgrowing ESPN SportsCenter highlights are old hat for Michigan State's Charles Rogers, but an MTV show, according to the record-setting WR, "would be a new experience." Rogers apparently has been targeted for an upcoming segment of MTV's True Life, with filming to occur in the next few weeks. In related news, ex-South Carolina running back Derek Watson has been targeted for his own episode of Cops.
Scalped, ground up
Mid-field tickets for Saturday's highly anticipated Oklahoma-Texas game at the Cotton Bowl have reportedly shot up to the high price of $825, with end zone seats available for a reasonable $300. Meanwhile, this from the USDA Market News Service: "Tuesday afternoon trade activity was at a near standstill, slaughter cattle demand was almost nil. Last week live cattle sold at 64.00 to 65.00
and 99.00 to a 100.00, mostly 100.00 dressed."
HOT: Bob Stoops, Oklahoma Oklahoma, as a team, does not qualify as "hot," but its coach must be recognized for his game-winning, fake field goal call vs. Missouri on Oct. 5.
NOT: Rick Neuheisel, Washington
Man, Rick, did you leave behind some baggage at Colorado. Two years of probation, five scholarships lost, recruiting penalties -– almost all your fault, and Gary Barnett will have to endure the hailstorm.
HOT: Muhammad Abdulqaadir, Southern Illinois
Rushed for 837 yards in his last three games. With a name like Abdulqaadir, he's got to be good.
NOT: Craig Ochs, Colorado
First, we heard he was leaving football altogether. Then maybe a transfer to I-AA Montana. Now he's talking to Washington ... was this concussion thing a ploy?
Whoops. Looks like we already did this. Scroll up to the top of the story.
How this week's big game played out on EA Sports' NCAA Football 2003.
Miami 16, FSU 13; Pitt 26, Notre Dame 7; Georgia 24, Tennessee 21; UCLA 42, Oregon 28; Michigan 35, Penn State 14; and finally, Texas 45, Oklahoma 26.
Does anyone actually expect Texas-Oklahoma to be that lopsided? On PlayStation, it's understandable; after all, Texas is the Ultimate PlayStation Team. All the talent is there, all the tools are there, and as long as you don't screw it up, you win and win big. Somehow, when translated into real life, the Longhorns don't manage to look this good.
If the season ended today, taking
into consideration the rule that almost guarantees Notre
Dame a spot if it wins nine games ...
Fiesta:
Miami
vs. Texas
Rose:
Ohio
State vs. Oregon
Sugar:
Georgia
vs. Notre Dame
Orange:
Florida
State vs. Oklahoma
Each week during the season, this space will
be devoted to your comments on a particular issue.
Last week's topic: Which team will win -- Oklahoma or Texas -- and why?
With a healthy Roy Williams and Nathan Vasher, Texas will win going away. With the constant pounding of Cedric Benson into the line, the OU defense will be forced to split its attention between the run and the pass. Roy will make the big grabs. The OU offense is inherently less consistent than the Texas offense, but the defenses and special teams of each are similar. That will determine the outcome. This year, Chris Simms will come out a winner.
Rowell Rogers, Denton, Texas
Oklahoma. They have a secret weapon: Mack Brown. He was an ineffective offensive coordinator at OU, misjudging talent and costing the Sooners at least one championship. With history in mind, it stands to reason he will continue to under-coach what is possibly the best talent in the nation.
Rich Mason, Atlanta
Being an OU alum, it's painful for me to have to say that this is Texas' year. Coach Stoops has been in denial about the Sooners' shortcomings at the QB position, relying on the defense to pull them out most of the time. That can only work for so long. This time, Mack Brown will have the Longhorns ready to put up enough points to win. Expect Oklahoma to score in single digits. By season's end, expect to see a freshman starting at QB for the Sooners.
Stan Eads, Denver
Out here in the west, Texas QB Chris Simms is what we call "all hat and no cattle." He doesn't have a big enough horn on his saddle to overcome the hailstorm defense from Oklahoma. Unpretentious Sooner QB Nate Hybl will have the game of his lifetime in a lopsided Sooner win.
Jeff Lester, Tulsa, Okla.
Texas is going to win the Red River Shootout for one simple reason: Nate Hybl. I bet if you polled the OU fans, they would take Chris Simms for Nate Hybl in a trade in a New York minute. There are reasons Texas wins other than Hybl: Tommie Harris, despite making the cover of SI, has done nothing this year. OU has no running game. Most importantly, no Roy Williams (for the Sooners, that is).
Fletcher Cordell, Dallas
This is the most overrated game of the season by far. Oklahoma is horrible and in no way deserves to be ranked so high. South Florida played with the Sooners for a half, and they almost lost to Alabama, which by the way, should not even be close to being ranked in the Top 25. Neither OU nor Texas would come close to beating schools like Miami or Virginia Tech this year.
James Carr, Charlotte, N.C.
This week's topic: At this point in the season, is Heisman talk worthless, or is it a worthwhile debate -- and why?
Luke Winn is college football producer for
CNNSI.com. To send him a comment or question, click
here.
