Doesn't anybody want to be ranked first? Our top four all lost. Our fifth-, sixth- and seventh-rated teams all move up to fill the first three spots. This is what is known as mathematics. The trio maintains its order of last week, marching in dignified fashion, eyes straight ahead. This is what is known as military precision. How far do we drop last week's top dog, the Packers, after Minnesota did the nasties to 'em? Well, I've given enough away. You'll simply have to progress farther down into this drivel to find out.
Dr. Z's Power Rankings
Rank
LW
Team
1
5
Atlanta Falcons (6-3-1) I watched the Falcons with an eagle eye last week to see if they had the look of, well, eagles. This is what I saw: A tough, well-coached team with a quarterback who can work all sorts of magic but loses too many yards on his sacks. He also wears himself out during the course of a game, and that's when a player is vulnerable to injury. I like the defensive scheme and the toughness of the secondary, even though the nickel back, Juran Bolden, gave up a couple of long ones to Joe Horn. O-line? Decent as a unit, tackles just so-so. I've never been a Whitfield man. Warrick Dunn's a terrific back, much more effective when he doesn't have to share the load, but what are you going to do with a horse like T.J. Duckett? In general, good game presence. I have the feeling that the Falcons aren't going to lose a contest because they're taking the day off. Is this really what a No. 1 team should be? Probably not, but every team is flawed in some way this season.
2
6
Philadelphia Eagles (7-3) Let me get this straight. Donovan McNabb breaks his ankle on the third play, but they diagnose it as a sprain and never X-ray it until after the game. Sounds like they have the kind of doctors we have out here in Jersey. So they wrap it tightly and he doesn't move out of the pocket, and the Cardinals oblige by being very gentlemanly and not testing him with blintzes, make that blitzes. And he has a career day. And then says farewell to the 2002 season. And the baton is passed to Koy Detmer, who has been very comfortable in his role as a six-year, career backup. Run the ball, rally 'round, play tough, uh, tougher, defense, Eagles, and you'll be OK. Maybe.
3
7
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (8-2) Stop whining, Bucs fans. The Eagles beat you fair and square, and Atlanta's a lot better than the team you defeated in October. Beat Green Bay Sunday (and I believe this will happen, although if the game were in Lambeau I'd go the other way) and I'll see what I can do about getting you a better table at my restaurant.
4
1
Green Bay Packers (8-2) The easy explanations for what happened last weekend are 1) The Vikings always play 'em tough at home, 2) the Pack doesn't perform as well on an artificial surface, and 3) domed stadiums, with their lack of God's clean, fresh air, are poisonous to the health. None of those excuses will be available in Raymond James Sunday.
5
11
San Diego Chargers (7-3) Now it gets tough. What gave them the win over San Francisco? Not Drew Brees, although he performed nobly down the stretch. Not LaDainian Tomlinson, although he certainly was a hard worker. It was the defense, the fact that it abandoned that strangely passive scheme that cost the Chargers the Rams game and attacked Jeff Garcia with an old Biblical fury. Of course, having Junior Seau back, healthy and more active than I've seen him in two years certainly helped. Plus the fact that the Niners' Jose Cortez shanked his four-iron shot. If he'd have made it, then guess who would be sitting up there at little old No. 1 this week?
6
2
San Francisco 49ers (7-3) Right, I've answered the question. There wasn't anything to complain about in that bitter struggle against San Diego. Except the kicker, of course, and these poor souls battle enough psychological devils without the need of any further antagonism from your faithful narrator.
7
8
Oakland Raiders (6-4) Bill Belichick's defensive schemes posed absolutely no problems for the Gnat Attack Sunday night. Oakland's defense went after Tom Brady as if it had an old score to settle. You look at this team after a game like that and say, "How can it possibly lose?" But it has. Four times. You'll get a good laugh out of what I'm gonna say next, but don't write the upcoming Arizona trip into the W column just yet. These are the kind of trap games the Raiders usually take very lightly.
8
3
New Orleans Saints (7-3) Everyone talks about their marvelous offensive line. I didn't see it last Sunday. I thought the Falcons beat 'em to the punch. Left tackle Kyle Turley has been touted as a sure-fire Pro Bowler. Again, I'm unimpressed. Not athletic enough. But here they are, in the thick of the pennant race, with two home contests against Cleveland and Tampa Bay coming up and then four games against teams with losing records. Sorry to be so blah about a team I was so high on at one time, but the Falcons game is too fresh in my mind.
9
9
Denver Broncos (7-3) Steve Beuerlein threw two passes in mop-up duty, after Brian Griese went down with the knee Sunday, and completed both for TDs. You know how all those silly things are written early in the year ... "Project this to a 16-game season," etc. Well, project this to the date of Griese's return -- sometime in December, I'd guess -- and you have Beuerlein throwing for 75 touchdown passes and a passer rating of eight zillion and change. How far will they go under the 37-year-old Beuerlein, whose last pass, before Sunday, came two years ago? Well, they have Indy at home, then the Chargers and Jets on the road, and you just know that the blitzers will be sharpening their spears. It's the same situation the Eagles face. Work on the running game, stiffen the defense and hope for the best.
10
10
St. Louis Rams (5-5) Kurt Warner was in for three snaps Monday night, all pass plays, and thank you, Mike Martz, for those calls, because if he'd have handed the ball off three times I'd have nothing to write about. First play, a sack, and the Bears came after him with everyone except George Musso and Bronko Nagurski, then a mid-speed delivery that Torry Holt dropped, then a completion to Isaac Bruce that didn't buy the first down. I didn't see any real zip on the ball, but maybe I was reading too much into those two throws. In my forecast column, I picked the Rams to win at Washington because I felt that if Warner showed signs of struggling, Martz would give him an early hook. But you never know. The coach has been known to be stubborn. This will be a real interesting one to watch.
11
19
Tennessee Titans (6-4) They must be taken seriously. The record speaks, also those five straight victories. Will Keith Bulluck be fined for the blow that sent Tommy Maddox to the hospital? Will the Titans lose him for four games? If they do, then they'll be minus one of their most effective defensive players. How bad a shot was it, really? It looked like he could have pulled up, but I only saw highlights. Can something like this affect a whole team? It was awful scary, what happened to Maddox. It can be a frightening world out there on the field.
12
4
Pittsburgh Steelers (5-4-1) It's time to be supportive of Kordell Stewart. The Steelers players always have been. "He'll be OK ... he led us on two scoring drives," was the comment I heard. The problem is that the game was a wrap by then. What makes this situation less desperate than that of the Eagles and Broncos is that the division's a steal, and I don't think Kordell should have nightmares about facing the Bengals Sunday, but you never know. Last time he played them, in December of 2001, he threw four picks and the Steelers blew the game.
13
14
Kansas City Chiefs (5-5) Week after week, as the media's glare turned on the defense, and particularly left cornerback Eric Warfield, the poor guy would have to stand by his locker and answer wave after wave of questions that began, "What's wrong ...?" He never flinched. He answered 'em all. On Sunday he took the podium as a hero, after he baited Drew Bledsoe into a fourth-quarter, game-saving interception. Warfield got a hug from a tearful Dick Vermeil, and he never flinched from that one, either. I'll have to quit now. I'm getting too emotional. Linda, make me a nice bowl of soup.
14
15
Miami Dolphins (6-4) Finally, a good game from Ray Lucas, backed up by a crushing defensive performance. See, just when things are looking bad, good things can happen.
15
16
Indianapolis Colts (6-4) Once again the Big Three of Manning, Harrison and James put up big numbers -- against the Cowboys, who used to have a Big Three of their own, remember?
16
12
New England Patriots (5-5) They looked thoroughly overmatched against the Raiders. They didn't seem to be in the game. The most striking element to me was the way the Oakland rushers manhandled their offensive line. The Patriots can get themselves together against Minnesota, Detroit and Buffalo, none of which have overpowering defenses. Then they're on the road in a Monday nighter at Tennessee, and that could be their make-or-break game of the season.
17
13
Buffalo Bills (5-5) I find this the most difficult part of the rankings to sort out, this middle ground. My scoresheet is full of crossouts and strikeovers. The Bills beat Miami not so long ago, so why are they three spots back? And does a one-point road loss to K.C. really mean that they're four positions worse? Well, someone wasn't going to like the way this worked out, so I'm buttoning up and waiting for the onslaught from frozen upper New York state, an area in which, not so long ago, I enjoyed a measure of support.
18
17
New York Jets (5-5) They beat Detroit. They dropped one spot. E-mailers, start your engines!
19
18
New York Giants (6-4) First their defensive line came up thin, then their receiving corps, and now, with center Chris Bober out with a torn tricep, the O-line is suffering from the shorts. Plus DT Cornelius Griffin has a sprained ankle. I admire the tenacity of this team, and honestly, I'd like to move it up higher, but as I've explained, this part of the board is just impossible.
20
20
Jacksonville Jaguars (5-5) Now we're leveling off. Houston gives the Jags a scare. I give 'em a C-grade in the standings. See me next week.
21
21
Baltimore Ravens (4-6) And now we descend into the netherworld, where those with winning records dare not enter. But there's still a 5-5 remaining, and it's ... it's ... the ...
22
22
Cleveland Browns (5-5) Whew, the suspense is over. Yes, a victory should move them higher. No, I don't feel that holding off the Bengals with a goal-line stand at the end is a feat that will live in Cleveland history alongside, say, the 35-10 victory over the Eagles in 1950.
23
23
Washington Redskins (4-6) You know what's funny? Steve Spurrier still makes headlines for his announcement that he will change Florida U. quarterbacks for, what is it, the fourth time now? And go back to ... lemme look at my roster ... Danny Wuerffel sharing the game with Patrick Ramsey. Just the thing, spread it around. I remember one year when the Cowboys had their QBs, Roger Staubach and Craig Morton, alternating on every play. And who was the coach who came up with that clever scheme? None other than the legendary Tom Landry. Quarterback is a position that's been known to bend even the finest minds.
24
30
Minnesota Vikings (3-7) In this greenhouse, signs of new sprouts are rewarded with more plant food. Grow tall, Vikings. Grow more shoots. Throw the ball to Randy Moss at least 40 percent of the time, and anything could happen.
25
26
Carolina Panthers (3-7) Maybe I caught him on an off day, but I gave Julius Peppers a preliminary look against the Bucs, and I saw a guy bouncing around the edges, trying to pick up sacks and letting the rest of the action slide by. I might be too hard on the young man. Further study of this game is scheduled for later in the week.
26
24
Seattle Seahawks (3-7) I'm not gonna say that they have to to learn how to stop the run. I've said it enough. I won't mention that the Broncos ran for 202 on them. I mean, they know the problem and so does everyone else. Let's talk about pleasant things, such as the fact that the food at their training camp is the best in the NFL, or it least it was when I visited. Or the fact that I used to love to cover their summer practices because the blackberries were in season, and they grew wild around the field, and ... gotta stop. Getting too nostalgic.
27
25
Arizona Cardinals (4-6) Is Leonard Davis really the Pro Bowl right tackle for the NFC? Well, I've seen him cave in a side when he had the angle, but a lot of the right tackles can do that. Sorry, but he just doesn't excite me. Well, who does? No one. OT is a destitute position. Check that, maybe Willie Roaf, undergoing a rebirth in K.C., qualifies.
28
27
Detroit Lions (3-7) The good thing about ranking teams at this level is that no one cares. The fans, including the ones who send in the e-mail, have more important things to worry about.
29
29
Chicago Bears (2-8) Chris Chandler looked helpless under the Rams blitz. At one time he was a live QB who worried defenses with his boldness downfield. Soon he'll be replaced by Jim Miller, who will be replaced by some collegian who's simply wowing 'em these days.
30
31
Houston Texans (2-8) Ah, youth. They seem to give everyone a tussle. Well, almost everyone. They came back from a 24-7 deficit against the Jaguars to provide some action at the end. Not that they had a great chance, but at least they didn't fold. The crippled Giants, coming into their place on Sunday, is a game they can win, and then if they can somehow find two more victories they'll enrich all those Texas gamblers who bet into Houston's preseason number of 4 1/2 wins and took the over.
31
28
Dallas Cowboys (3-7) Continuing the thought of the Bears drafting a QB, maybe this team will draft one. The problem is that they have two young guys calling the signals, each with the owner's personal seal of approval.
32
32
Cincinnati Bengals (1-9) Cincy wideout Chad Johnson is now 1-1 on pregame predictions. If you remember, he called the Houston game correctly. Folks, they blew it. If they'd have let him forecast every game this season they'd be sitting at 5-5 right now and challenging for the lead in America's worst division.
