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A weekend fit for a King
Posted: Tuesday December 21, 1999 06:46 PM
Click here to send your NFL questions to SI's Peter King.
When I meet some of you in airports or hotels or stadiums, unfailingly I hear this: "I wish I had your job. What's it like?" Well, on the occasion of the last 'bag of the century, I thought I'd give thanks for my job -- you can't have it, by the way -- and let you know exactly what it 's like. A weekend -- Dec. 18-19, with trips to Carolina and Cleveland -- in the life of the guy who holds one of the best jobs on the planet (mine): SATURDAY 6:06 a.m. -- Wife Ann, the greatest wife of alltime, pushes me out of bed in Montclair, N.J. I needed that. 6:48 a.m. -- Starbucks Italian Roast fuels the drive to Newark Airport for a US Airways nonstop to Charlotte. 8:10 a.m. -- I begin one of the most incredible creative processes of our time: the crafting of Monday Morning Quarterback. (You thought I wrote Monday Morning Quarterback on Monday morning, didn't you? Some of it, yes, is written at 4 a.m. Monday. But a weekend head start always helps.) Different weekend, in a lot of ways. Usually I 'm at a site Friday or Saturday morning, reporting for my Inside the NFL column for the following week 's Sports Illustrated. But CNN begins a half-hour NFL Preview show for the rest of the season today, so I'll be on site at Ericcson Stadium, then onto Cleveland tonight for the hour show tomorrow. Strange weekend for the magazine too, because this is our last issue of the year (of the century, too) and must stay on the shelves for two weeks. So I've got to be timeless in my column. I've already filed a Doug Flutie column top, from my interview with him last weekend in Buffalo, and that will duel with events in Charlotte or Cleveland (Browns-Jags) for space in the column. 8:45 a.m. -- I have seen it all. The idiot across the airplane aisle pulls out an electric shaver. He shaves. We gawk. 9:31 a.m. -- Ahh, civilization. "Grande hazelnut latte," I say to the Starbucks Lady at the Charlotte airport. 11:30 a.m. -- I do TV, with the Cherica Adams funeral going on four miles away. Something seems wrong, very wrong. But the football point I try to make is this: Does Rae Carruth really have much of an impact on this team, on this locker room, on this offense? The Panthers are 3-1 since the shooting, and, entering today, they 've scored 31, 34, 21 and 33 points. The Carruth factor, I conclude, is relatively nil. 12:46 p.m.-- Up on the press-box TV at Ericsson, Kordell Stewart goes in motion wide behind Mike Tomczak. The KC defense focuses unduly on Stewart. Who wouldn't? Tomczak fakes to Stewart, then finds wideout Troy Edwards standing alone in the end zone. Touchdown. And I think how sad it is that Stewart is acting like Kruschev banging his shoe on the table, demanding to play quarterback next year. Stupid. Why can't the Steelers use Stewart imaginatively -- running, passing and faking -- then sign a free-agent quarterback (slum Jim Miller, perhaps?) and confound the NFL in 2000 with the best changeup pitcher (Stewart) in NFL history? Why doesn't Stewart, instead of demanding to be the quarterback next year, say: "This team just paid me $8 million in bonus money, and I'll do whatever it wants me to do"? I hate that about sports. 3:02 p.m. -- A reason to come to North Carolina in any season: Pork barbeque. It's the greatest here, and barbeque, cole slaw and apple cobbler qualifies as my best press-box meal of the season. 3:39 p.m. -- Gary Plummer, the former 49ers linebacker and current radio colorguy, stops to say hi. "I did a football camp with Rae Carruth last year in Los Angeles," he said, shaking his head. "Nicest guy in the world. Talked to the kids about how important it was to get a degree. Very well-spoken. Told the kids he wanted to be a playwright. Can you believe this?" No. Can anyone? 3:50 p.m. -- Michael Katz of the New York Daily News, in for the Adams funeral, walks by and offers this pronouncement on Carruth's fate, if he's found guilty: "Well, he should have his choice -- lethal injection or gas chamber. Then he should get life." 4:19 p.m. -- Steve Beuerlein Johnny-Unitases the Panthers downfield on the first series, in five plays (four completions) and 75 yards. I can't believe the Panthers think of Beuerlein as a bridge quarterback, not their quarterback of the future. The guy's 34 years old. His arm's throwing lasers these days. THIS IS THE TYPE OF PLAYER YOU LOOK FOR IN FREE-AGENCY! DON'T LET HIS LIFE AS A CAREER BACKUP OR HIS SLOW FEET MAKE YOU LOOK FOR SOMEONE ELSE! THIS IS GUY YOU WANT TO RUN YOUR TEAM! 4:40 p.m. -- Eight plays, 60 yards, another TD pass for Beuerlein. In the first 10 minutes of the game, he's thrown his 26th and 27th touchdown passes of the year. 6:47 p.m. -- Wheels up on US Airways 1434 to Cleveland. I am fortunate. I sit in the middle seat of a three-across, and I spread out my work stuff and get an hour of writing in. I am more fortunate. No one shaves on this flight. 8:53 p.m. -- On the way to my downtown hotel, I cell-phone New Orleans GM Bill Kuharich. We talk about his future, about Mike Ditka's future, about the franchise's future -- awkward, really, because we both know his job's on the line after 6-10, 6-10 and 2-11 (soon to be 2-12) Saints seasons. "I don't know what's going to happen," Kuharich says, and I know he's telling the truth. I tell him owner Tom Benson is looking hard into a coaching and front-office overhaul. Then there's a couple of hours on the phone from the hotel room, and falling asleep to "Saturday Night Live's" Christmas show at 12:30 or so. It's a wonderful life. SUNDAY 6:15 p.m. -- "Good morning," Mr. Wakeup Call says. "It's 6:15 and 22 degrees." 6:20 a.m. -- Shower, iron the shirt, eat the room-service granola and bagel, drink the weak coffee, read the Plain Dealer. 8:13 a.m. -- I confirm the Baltimore Sun's story about Art Modell selling a major stake in the Ravens, and make two or three other calls checking items for the CNN telecast. 10:00 a.m. -- The thermometer on my zipper -- I have such a thing -- reads 30 in the shade at Cleveland Browns Stadium. Ears are cold. In between my six segments in the hour-long program (I suggest this could be Dan Marino's last game if he plays horribly today, because the Dolphins will pull him if he 's lousy), the ridicuous-looking hood goes over my head. 12:05 p.m. -- Browns president Carmen Policy's on injured reserve today. Flu. I speak to him from his home about the first year of the Browns. "If anything," he tells me, thinking of mistakes he made in New Browns Year One, "maybe I would handle expectations differently. Everyone was so excited inside and outside the organization, and I knew it was going to take time." It still will. This team has so many holes it'll struggle big-time in 2000 too. 2:04 p.m. -- The strangest thing I've ever seen on an NFL field happens. Referee Jeff Triplette throws a flag on the Browns for a false start. The flag, with a weight on the end, zings through the facemask of Cleveland right tackle Orlando Brown and hits him in the right eyeball. Brown grabs his facemask, in obvious pain, and stumbles to the sideline. Then he walks back onto the field toward Triplette and suddenly thrusts both hands toward Triplette, sending him sprawling to the ground. We are aghast in the press box. They are aghast in the stadium. Quick opinion: Paul Tagliabue has to give Brown somewhere between six games and a full season suspension. I'd settle on eight. 2:29 p.m. -- Zowie. Now Tim Couch, battered all day by the league's sackingest defense, goes down with a badly sprained ankle. No wonder this crowd sounds so dead. 4:17 p.m. Walk off the Cleveland Browns Stadium field with Ryan McNeil, Cleveland corner and one of the league's good guys. "What's up, Pete?" McNeil asks. I respond: "Can you believe what Orlando Brown did?" Walking on the semi-crunchy, frigid field, McNeil shakes his head. "I've been playing football since I was this tall," he says, putting his hand down around his knee, talking above the Christmas carol playing on the stadium's sound system. "And I've never, ever seen anything like that in my life." 5:08 p.m. -- I sit with coach Chris Palmer, who is crestfallen. As I wrote in MMQB last Monday, Palmer takes this Orlando Brown thing personally. He knows he's the captain of the ship, and whatever happens to the team is a reflection on him. As VP Dwight Clark walks out of locker room for the night, Palmer shakes his hand. "Sorry," Palmer says, meaning it. 7:08 p.m. -- Watch Denver and Seattle duel into overtime at Mile High on press-box TV. Marvel at how Mike Shanahan and staff get this team to play so hard every week in a lost season. Wonder if Bill Romanowski is touched. Think: this is one of the best games I've ever seen. Also think: If I don't hustle, I'll miss my plane. 7:52 p.m. -- Send column lead on Browns. Shut off computer. Find car in parking lot. Drive past beautiful ice rink, full of skaters in downtown Cleveland. Think: Wouldn't it be nice, some Christmas season, to be able to stop and smell the hot chocolate? Speed to car-rental return lot. Flight's at 8:50. Take car-rental shuttle to Continental terminal at Hopkins Airport. Get E-ticket at gate C-14. 8:42 p.m. -- Stride into tiny airplane toilet. Is there glue on the floor, or is it just me? Disgusting. Continental, you should be ashamed to leave that gruesome, horrible, sticky residue on your toilet floors, flight after flight. I know. I fly you all the time. Shame on you. 10:18 p.m. -- Wait for bag to come up at Newark. Talk to Browns' fan who frets that Orlando Brown will be gone into next season. Smart guy. MONDAY 12:19 a.m. -- While finishing some final notes for my SI column in my home office just off the bedroom, I hear good buddy John Clayton on ESPN radio talking about Orlando Brown. "Give the guy a break," Clayton says, reasoning that the referee started it all by hitting Brown in the eye with the flag. "Excuse him. Don't fine him." Wow. Love you, John. But I've never disagreed with anything so strongly in my life. 6:48 a.m. -- Wake up and call Chris Palmer. "I got in about 5:15," he says. "Rough night. And Orlando spent the night in the hospital." Palmer says it'll be three or four days before doctors know what happens to Brown long-term. Sounds a tad more upbeat. "I love the way we fought yesterday," he said. I can hear it in his quasi-hoarse voice. Like every coach in the NFL, Palmer still feels the losses on Monday morning. But in the hours following the morning wakeup call, he'll mentally rehab himself more and more. It's the circle of coaching life. Losses can't stick with you long. 7:18 a.m. -- Add Palmer stuff to MMQB. Send it. Drive daughters to school. Come home. Read files from NFL correspondents. Get to work finishing SI NFL column. And that's how my autumnal weekend life goes. Now on to your questions: What will the Colts do in the off-season? Do you think they need another wide receiver? Or just defensive help? -- Jason Fine, Indianapolis The biggest thing the Colts need to do in the off-season, aside from taking a tough, hard-hitting safety or linebacker in the first round, is to get Marvin Harrison's signature on a contract. Harrison's contract expires after the 2000 season. He will put up ridiculous numbers next year, just like this year. It will be harder to sign him next year at this time. I asked GM Bill Polian recently if he was going to do a deal with Harrison this off-season, and he coyly told me: "I haven't decided yet." I think he has decided. And I think he'll be chatting up Harrison's agent on Feb. 1. Can you come up with one reason why Bob Kraft shouldn't fire Pete Carroll? I sure can't. The sad group of players in New England right now need a good dose of discipline. What do you think? -- Matt Goertz, Waterloo, Ontario I can 't think of a single reason why Carroll shouldn't be fired, nor a single reason why he won't be fired, in the wake of the horrific performance at Philadelphia Sunday. The Patriots have an interesting situation. The Bobby Grier drafts have been downright mediocre; the Patriots have gotten terrible value for Bill Parcells and Curtis Martin. And Kraft will have to decide not just who will be the next coach but whether he 'll make a change at franchise-architect too. My guess is he'll stick with Grier another year. The coach he should get is Bill Belichick. I have been an avid Dolphins fan since I first saw Dan Marino launch his passes into the end zone in the mid '80's. I have now heard that he may be on his way out. What is your take on this situation? Also, I have heard rumors that Dan wants to play after this season, and it is also rumored that he may want to play for his hometown, for the Steelers. If that is the case, what are the odds of getting a trade done that involves Kordell Stewart and Dan Marino? Clearly, both have their problems. One's is loss of confidence, and the other is age. -- Jason Christians, Sturgis, S.D. I think Marino will retire at the end of the year. I suppose he could change his mind and spend one year in Pittsburgh, or the public pressure could come down hard on Johnson and Huizenga in Miami to spend foolishly and bring him back for one more season. (Marino's due a big roster bonus if he's still a Dolphin on March 15.) I think it would be great to see him in Pittsburgh for a year, teaching Kordell Stewart the ropes. But I'm not sure Stewart would take particularly well to that; he's on record as saying (foolishly, I think) that he'll only consider playing quarterback next year and no other position. After watching a ton of games this year, I've come to the conclusion that there aren't any kickers in the league who can kick off past the 10, let alone for a touchback. What is the deal this year? Also, I'm a huge Bengals fan and love the recent surge in the offense. Can they afford to keep Pickens and Dillon? Is Jeff Blake or Bruce Coslet gone? Is LaVarr Arrington (assuming he goes pro) their first pick? -- Andrew Taylor, Massillon, Ohio As the weather gets colder, the new balls (which teams don't have a chance to break in before the game) will become more and more like bricks. You're seeing it already. The kickoffs are dying like quails at the 20. Now on to the Bengals: I don't think they'll have the chance to draft LaVar Arrington unless they trade up. My guess is they'll finish 4-12 and have the fourth pick overall. I can't see Arrington lasting past No. 3. And since the Ravens will likely be ahead of the Bengals on draft day, courtesy of a deal with Atlanta last year, I don't see them trading to help the Bengals. The draft right now looks like: 1. Washington (from New Orleans) -- DE Courtney Brown, Penn State. 2. Cleveland -- WR Peter Warrick, Florida State. 3. Baltimore (from Atlanta) trades down to Philadelphia, at No. 5. Eagles take Arrington. 4. Cincinnati -- DE Corey Simon, Florida State. 5. Baltimore (from Philadelphia) -- QB Chris Redman, Louisville. Peter, what is the Vikings salary cap situation like for next season? Who can they get to help on defense, and how is Culpepper coming along? -- Don Palladino, Murfreesboro, Tenn. The Vikings are in trouble on the cap front next year. Big trouble. They're $10.19 million over the projected $62.2-million cap. This means they'll have to restructure some contracts and let some other players go. Don't look for the Vikings to make many significant additions. Look for them to make some deletions. You recently stated in one of your articles that you thought that Ron Dayne would go 18th in the upcoming NFL draft. If he is available when New England picks, would they select him? And would he fit in their offense? -- Kendrick Riddle, Vancouver Ron Dayne would be a terrific pick for New England. I like the way you think. The Pats will probably pick somewhere in the 14-to-18 range, and they desperately need a great back to eat up both yards and the clock. Happy Holidays, everyone! My Mailbag will return Jan. 6.
Send a question to Peter King.
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