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Root of the problem Here's why I can't color my writing by cheering
Updated: Monday January 15, 2001 5:20 PM
Have a comment or question for Dr. Z? Click here. Unless we are overcome by arrogance, we go through a constant self evaluation and reevaluation. Sometimes when we step back and take a look, the results are jarring. I'll give you one example. It was around playoff time a few years ago and I was getting calls from people running radio shows, asking if I could be on for a few minutes. No big deal. Peter King gets them all the time. So do the other guys who cover football. Anyway, this guy called on a Tuesday and said they wanted me for Friday, and he'd call back to reconfirm and set up the time. He never did. Then, on Friday evening, I finally hear from him. "You ready?" he asks. "Ready for what?" "The show." "You said you were gonna call to reconfirm and set up the time and you never did." "Sorry. I got real busy." "Well, I'm sorry, too," etc., and I laid it on a bit heavy and the offshoot was that I didn't do the show. Now here's the snapper: For some reason the recording part of the answering machine was on during our conversation and it captured the whole thing. I played it back, and as I listened to the conversation, I found myself rooting for him. Tell that arrogant jerk to go screw himself, I was saying, practically out loud, hoping that on the second go-round he'd find the courage to tell that guy -- to tell me -- to go to hell. Weird, huh?
Yes, it's true, but is this really so bad? Oh, sure, I rooted as hard as anyone else while I was growing up, first for the old Cleveland Browns of the All-America Conference, then for the Niners, then for the Jets when I covered them as the beat man on the New York Post, then for the Steelers because my son loved them so much. I still root, kind of -- usually for the teams I've picked in my handicapping, particularly if I've picked an upset. But think for a moment how creepy it would be if I colored my writing by rooting, if I admitted that I loved the Giants, for instance, and geared my analysis in that direction. I get occasionally ripped now for having an "Eastern bias," whatever that is, but just think of what a feast the rippers would have if I really took sides. As a natural follow-up: Mike of Santa Clara takes a shot at my "East Coast media bias" because I had neither the Raiders' punter nor any of their offensive linemen on my all-pro team. My punter was from Indy. My line represented New Orleans, Baltimore, Dallas, Miami and Denver. I picked these guys because I thought they were better, not for any nutso geographical reason. Scott of Archer, Fla., echoes the sentiments concerning my neglect of the Raiders' O-line, legitimately pointing out that I should have at least mentioned one or two. You're right. RG Mo Collins was a finalist on my charts. He has found a home, since he moved inside from tackle. Barret Robbins is one of the league's more powerful centers. RT Lincoln Kennedy is having a career year. Good hog-type blocker. Phone just rang. My buddy, Artie. Wants to know if I saw the Eagles-Giants on TV or if I was there. I was there, I told him. He's sorry, he said, because he wanted to know where John Madden got the sandwich he showed on TV. I told him I'd ask around. So I'm asking. Anybody out there remember? If so, please e-mail your responses to Jimmy, who will relay them to me, and I'll be thankful and so will Artie. Still on the all-pros, Chris McCloskey, who writes releases for the NFL, supplies my upper for the day because he says he works in the office every Sunday and watches at least some portion of every NFC game and he says that every time he sees the Cards, Pat Tillman, my all-pro strong safety, seems to be making a big play. Thank you, Chris. I have gotten abused for that pick. Glad someone's on my side. Heavy hammering from Andrew of Kingston, Ontario (and here I thought I had the Canadian vote wrapped up). Thinks I'm nuts for picking the Giants over the Vikes. Ditto my analysis of Randy Moss' superior production on turf as opposed to grass. Philly is not in the class of the Vikings, he says, and the Giants "are out of the bush-league NFC East now." (OK, you rippers from Philly who are strangely quiet this week ... here's some new meat for you.) And besides, he says, I've been down on the Vikings all year, and on Sunday I and the Giants will get ours on Sunday. That's about it -- right, Andrew? Have I presented your case fairly? All I can say in rebuttal is that I gave my reasons in print earlier this week, and one of us will be right and one of us will be wrong because the game cannot end in a tie. Kelly of Junction City, Ore., rips me for not one but both of my championship game picks, mentioning that the Giants, satisfied with their run, will roll over, and that the Ravens' D will eat up the Raiders, etc. "I can't really expect you to print my letter," Kelly says. You're right, I don't print 'em, just answer 'em. My answer: People forget that Trent Dilfer and the boys will also have to face the Raiders defense, ditto the Vikings D against the Giants. I will offer one further bit of analysis, though. The Raiders can be hurt two ways: 1) if Baltimore's running game gets going, which is possible, and 2) if Oakland gives it the old macho bit and figures that its No. 1 rushing offense is going to come out of the box firing. I like Oakland's chances if the Raiders go multiple wideout, spread the field and make the Ravens, particularly their nickel backs, Trapp and Bailey, play in space. More rips, and we're back to the all-pros. Michael of East St. Louis wonders how I could have neglected the Rams' wideouts, Holt and Bruce. Jake of Ocheyedan, Iowa, feels that Rod Smith and Terrell Owens would be better than my pair, Moss and McCaffrey. Neither Michael nor Jake care for Moss. I don't particularly like the way he plays, either. Timid at times across the middle, given to laziness and the occasional drop. But he simply does too many remarkable things out there, turns too many games around by himself. McCaffrey? Best possession man in football. Two weeks in a row for Kendall Scott, last week's "How do I say thank you?" gold medal winner. Now here's the creepy thing. My Flaming Redhead guessed that he was from California. Her second guess was Montana. Address he listed was Bozeman, Mont. Bingo! Well, almost. Now it turns out, according to his latest letter, that he spent 17 early years in Bozeman and is currently living in Silly Cohen Valley, which is in San Jose, Calif. Omigod! "I keep telling you," Linda says, "that I've got some kind of ESP gift, and you just won't believe me." Oh yeah?Then who's gonna win the playoffs this weekend? "Giants and Baltimore," she says. There it is, folks. Bet it, bank it, send me a cigar. Another old friend dropped by. Mauro from Milano. Wants to know what I think of the Schottenheimer hiring in Washington. Well, we tend to get cynical in our business, but Marty's tearful thank you to Dan Snyder -- gosh, that was enough to thaw the hardest of hearts (mine).To quote Humphrey Bogart from the end of Casablanca ... "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship." At least three weeks worth. Yeah, I know, I haven't answered your question. Here's another quote, this one courtesy of my old high school French teacher, Mr. Oliver: "Ça me faire vomir." Time to get serious. What do the Giants do Sunday, throw the blintzes at Daunte Culpepper or drop back and try to confuse him with a dazzling array of coverage schemes? asks Ryan of Newark, Del. A little of this, a little of that, mix it up, never repeat anything, don't miss tackles, don't make mistakes, guard your lanes, no parking in the yellow zone, beware of the dog, death before dishonor, semper fideles! Tom of Santa Rosa, Calif. ("I am 0-for-5, please respond!"I will, I will, I mean I am ...) wonders if the Ravens' defense will be tired after its long stint on the field against Tennessee, followed by a long trip to meet a team that got an extra day of rest. If the Raiders try to pound on the ground, no, they'll get stuffed. If the Raiders open up by throwing, then come back to the run late, after a bit of the zip is gone from the Ravens' legs, it might show up. A word of caution, though -- I've been wrong before. Greg of Egg Harbor Township, N.J., feels I'm being a bit childish with my moralizing about colleges respecting NFL contracts. Yeah, I guess he's right. Except that some schools are a little hesitant to do it, and some coaches feel, in an old-fashioned way, compelled to honor their existing contracts. I still remember the time the University of Alabama signed Ray Perkins with time remaining on his Giants' contract, a matter I brought up during the phone conference hookup with the Alabama president. George Young, the Giants' GM, shot me a thumbs-up sign, so I guess someone else agreed with me. Double question from Sam of Nashville: Jets coach? Mo Carthon? I get the feeling that they'll give him the courtesy of an interview, since Bill Parcells promised him that he'd at least get one. (Strange, isn't it, a guy who quit and whose personal choice of a coach also quit, is still orchestrating interviews?) But when it comes down to the actual hire, they'll look elsewhere. Jaguars' defensive coach Dom Capers is the front-runner. Second part of the question, which is actually a request. Can I supply a brief biographical sketch, since I'm always dropping in references to obscure and confusing bits of personal history? OK, you asked for it. Hope it doesn't read like some kind of resume. Born in Philadelphia because my mother's sister lived there and she got her a hospital freebie to cover the birth. Grew up in NYC. Stanford for two and a half years. Played some football (offensive tackle), sat on the bench a lot, achieved little success. Dropped out, shipped out (Merchant Marine, ordinary seaman), surfaced a couple of years later at Columbia, ineligible as a transfer, eligible for a while, then ineligible again on the Ivy League's five-year rule (all your playing had to be completed within a five-year period). Whereupon Lou Little appointed me line coach of the 150-pound team and we ran up the greatest single season record in that unit's history, uh, 2-3. Still with me? Due to graduate in June. Professor DeMorelos flunked me in Spanish. Incompletes in three other courses didn't help. No graduation. U.S. Army instead. Service football in Germany. Left tackle, offense and defense, for the WACOM (Western Area Command) Rhinos, champions of the Rhine League and USAREUR quarterfinalists. The one good season of my career. Selected Honorable Mention All-USAREUR (U.S. Army in Europe). Time for a new paragraph. Ready to extend my tour of duty to get in another football season, except that a fat-assed lummox named Tom Burbank fell on me in a scrimmage and broke my left cheekbone and that was it for service ball. After much wheedling and begging I managed to get readmitted to Columbia, where I finally got my degree. Picked up a masters in Journalism from good old CU a year later. First job, the Sacramento Bee. For a year. Next job, the New York World-Telegram & Sun , six years this time. Played semi-pro football ("Minor League" was the euphemism they used) for four seasons. Paterson, N.J., Pioneers; Mount Vernon, N.Y., Eagles; Westchester, N.Y., Crusaders. Finally, much later, at age 36, the Morristown, N.J., Colonials. A guard this time. Next job, New York Post, where I eventually became Jets' beat man for nine years, then their lead sports columnist. Total tour of duty on the Post, 13 years. Hired by Sports Illustrated in August of 1979. Other sports -- boxing.AAU bouts while at Stanford, Golden Gloves one year, brief career in the Army, which ended when a guy named Ezekual Leroy Roker from Utica, N.Y. (USAREUR champ with 12 straight knockouts ... I was the first ... TKO ... never knocked me off my feet) broke my jaw and ended my ring career. If anyone out there ever ran across his name ... surely he must have turned pro ... I'd appreciate the information on how his career turned out. Oh yes ... rugby for 25 years, beginning at Stanford at age 17. Co-founder of the Columbia Rugby Club, which became the Old Blues. Member of first U.S. touring club side, which played in England, Ireland and Wales. Position -- tight head prop forward. Whew, does that do it? Sorry about this indulgence, but, honestly, someone did ask, and I will never again repeat this recounting, this I swear. Jerome of Newburgh, Ind., doesn't much like the way the Gunther Cunningham firing was handled in Kansas City, letting the world know that Vermeil was the man before Gunther's place at the table was officially vacated. It looked bad, but I believe that Gunther knew ahead of time that he was history. Marc of Phoenix wonders if any Broncos should be enshrined before John Elway. He mentions Floyd Little and Randy Gradishar. Both were fine players, but I think they'll have to wait in line behind others. My choice is a guy who'll never make it because his career was cut short by injury: Richie "Tombstone" Jackson. One of the greatest DEs I've ever seen. Ani of Ann Arbor has some very nice things to say, and I'm thankful. Wants to know how the Lions will fare under Matt Millen. A fascinating experiment. I've known Matt since his sophomore year at Penn State. We have become friends, so I must admit to a rooting interest. I think the key to his success or lack of same will be the choices he makes of people with whom to surround himself while he's learning the ropes. If Ernie Accorsi, an ex-sportswriter, can do it, why not Matt? I'll be able to judge this team much better when I see what kind of drafts and personnel moves they make. Moris, a Dolphins fan from Guatemala, sees Jay Fiedler as a backup and scoffs at the idea that Miami didn't miss Marino. Regarding the old Marino, you're right. But the latter vintage, uh uh. Too much gone, physically. Don't forget that Fiedler nosedived after he got hurt. Give him another year before you pass judgment. The question is: Will the Dolphins' give him that year? Paul of Honolulu asks a football and non-football question, the latter being much more interesting, so I'll give you the football query first. Is it easier to build a team around a runner or a quarterback? Depends on the quality of each. If the QB is of star caliber, grab him. If he's of similar ability as the RB, take him, figuring you'll pick up a runner on the go. Just look at all the street pickups who held their own this year. Seldom do you find a good -- not barely adequate, but good -- QB on the scrap heap. If you feel that the runner is really special, and he'll be highly productive for six or seven years, go with him. The real answer to the question is that, although quarterback is a much more important position, you have to gear your team to the quality of your best people. Now the non-football question: Should our legal system be based on the ruling of a judge, or a panel of same, or on a jury, which might be composed of idiots? Personally, I've had bad luck with judges, particularly one guy who belonged to the same country club as the person we were suing. Absolutely no chance there. I don't much care for this current vintage of U.S. Supreme Court judges, either. Some of their rulings seem positively heartless to me. Jurors, on the other hand, often surprise you with the sagacity of their post-trial comments, when they allow themselves to be interviewed. I'll take juries over judges, even if some of those Philly characters with their mindless rips might wind up sitting on them -- that's on the juries, not the judges. Is Tiki Barber a one-year wonder? asks Steve of N.Y. I think he's for real, but his carries must be limited to keep him from wearing down during the course of a season. Jim of Denver wonders about the ebb and flow of offense vs. defense and why one side of the ball dominates, then the emphasis shifts. Throughout history it has been action and reaction. Tom Landry's flex defense was a reaction to Vince Lombardi's run to daylight (don't forget, they worked on the same Giants' staff). Bill Walsh's horizontal passing game was the answer to the crushing defense of Pittsburgh's Steel Curtain. Walsh developed it in Cincinnati, where he had to face the Steelers twice a year. Dom Capers' zone blitz was the answer to the Walsh attack. Mike Martz's vertical passing game, which is the true West Coast Offense and goes back to the Sid Gillman days, was like opening the flues and letting the air in. It spawned much double-zone, which is what you have now. Last year the Rams' offense dominated, but defense-oriented teams such as the Bucs and Titans came an ace away from beating them. This year? The final verdict still isn't in. Two of the remaining four teams are defense oriented, two lean toward offense. Tim of Fort Wayne wants to know what is meant by an all-star crew of officials for the playoffs. It means that instead of bringing in a complete team intact, the the league chooses its favorite officials at each position. It's a system based on rewards, but it doesn't reward the teams that have to play in games officiated in this mish-mosh, and I believe less-efficient, system. As far as Phil Luckett is concerned, he's no sweetheart but he's better than he was in the coin-toss days.The guy who bothers me most is Jeff Triplette. From Peter of London, Ohio: "With Eddie George on their team, shouldn't the Titans be able to expect more out of their offense? Is it time to give up on Steve McNair?" I'm beginning to wonder. McNair completed 24 passes against Baltimore, 18 were 10 yards or less. Last year I kept the same kind of stats on him. I'm beginning to wonder whether he is really able to go downfield, or if it simply isn't in the plan. They were a one-wideout offense against the Ravens, and that poor guy, Derrick Mason, performed heroically and practically got himself killed out there. Yancey Thigpen? Showed up for a few catches but no real factor. Chris Sanders? Invisible. The great Carl Pickens? Invisible, as he's been all year. Puzzling. But it's a defense-oriented team, and those kind of outfits usually are known for keeping their offense buttoned up. Have a comment or question for Dr. Z? Click here.
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