The Week: The Final Score at Augusta

Righties playing lefty? Lefties doing everything right? Cops? Canucks? Tiger chunks? Yes, it was wacky Masters -- and here's our report card

By Alan Shipnuck

Barnes led the amateur brigade.Robert Beck GOLF PLUS EXTRA My Shot: Martha Burk Teeing Off: Quicksand TRUST ME Don't laugh, but Mike Weir could win the Grand Slam. His controlled game is perfect for the U.S. Open; Royal St. George's will thwart big hitters; and Oak Hill might as well be in Canada. NEXT UP PGA Tour: The Heritage Champions Tour: Emerald Coast Classic LPGA Tour: Takefuji Classic European Tour: Algarve Open de Portugal INSTANT POLL Which 2003 major was the best? The Masters The U.S. Open The British Open The PGA View Results

Winners

Hootie. Augusta National's embattled chairman hit a home run in his annual Wednesday press conference, as Mr. Johnson was funny, combative and resolute in defending the club. He should have gone on camera months ago.

Arnold Palmer. Given the conditions, the King's opening 83 might have been the best showing of the first round.

Amateurs. Three college kids made the cut, led by swashbuckling Ricky Barnes, who contended deep into the third round. Bobby Jones would've been proud.

Ernie Els. His first-round 79 could've been a devastating career setback, but he showed tremendous heart in fighting back to a tie for sixth.

TV Viewers. Golf's most pleasant telecast was even more so without all those pesky ads for Citigroup, Coca-Cola and IBM.

Augusta National. The retrofitted course is now an exacting, U.S. Open-style examination of every aspect of a player's game.

Lefties. Yeah, Mike Weir was the hero, but don't overlook Phil Mickelson's restrained 68 on Sunday, a sign of his maturing game.

Nick Faldo. The last man to win two consecutive Masters, Nasty Nick eschewed the usual pabulum and openly rooted against Tiger's effort to win a third straight. Faldo also finished a respectable 33rd.

T.C. Chen. His double chip at the 1985 U.S. Open is no longer the game's biggest boner, thanks to ...

Losers

... Jeff Maggert, whose misadventures on the 3rd hole bounced him irrevocably from the lead.

Martha. She likes to brag of seven million constituents, but Ms. Burk could only coax about 30 onto the protest bus. Her new tack is targeting Augusta National's members, an admission that Hootie will not yield.

Jack Nicklaus. The Bear was bested by two strokes in round 1 by his old rival Arnie, despite being 10 years younger, at 63.

Europeans. After yet another Euro-trashing, it's hard to fathom how they won six Masters from 1988 to '94. Only José María Olazábal cracked this year's top 10.

David Duval. After shooting 79-83, his slump needs to be upgraded to a full-blown crisis. Even Justin Leonard's dreadful 82-73 beat him.

CBS. The Tiffany Network didn't distinguish itself by not acknowledging Martha Burk's protest. What would Edward R. Murrow have said?

Low Numbers. Hey, there's already one U.S. Open. Whatever happened to boatloads of birdies and eagles and rousing comebacks?

Righties Playing Lefty. Tiger Woods and Vijay Singh both had to turn a club upside down, emblematic of their topsy-turvy Sundays.

Tiger Woods. His front-nine 39 on Sunday was as shocking as the 81 at last year's British, which ended his Grand Slam bid. Throw in Rich Beem's PGA smackdown, and Woods has folded in three straight majors.

O.B.