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Let's Make Youth Sports Fun for Everyone Again

As seen in Sports Illustrated April 16, 2001

Posted: Wednesday March 30, 2005

University of Missouri law professor Doug Abrams is deeply interested in youth sports. In his spare time, the former Wesleyan University hockey goalie helps coach high school and "squirt" hockey teams. Youth sports, after all, can be a joyful and rewarding experience for everyone involved. But Abrams has another hobby, too. Every day he scans databases for reports of outrageous behavior at amateur sports events. Since 1998 he has come across hundreds of episodes, involving out-of-control parents, coaches, refs and even players. And these days, says Abrams, only the most egregious and offensive acts even make the news.

Whether it's an irate Dad who charges into a locker room and throws a punch at a hockey coach, a Mom who verbally and physically abuses a ref at a soccer game, or a high school basketball player who elbows an opponent in the face at the urging of his coach, it's clear that too many people have lost sight of the purpose and value of youth sports programs. They are a minority, to be sure, but they are spoiling it for the rest of us.

Once upon a time-not that long ago, really-kids were left to their own devices to play sports on sandlots after school. The two oldest kids acted as captains and chose equal teams. Everybody played. There were no uniforms, no refs, no scoreboards, no league standings, no trophies, and perhaps best of all-no parents. It was just like Charlie Brown's All-Stars.

If a dispute occurred, the game stopped, and after a few

moments of debate, the teams would declare a compromise-

a "do-over." The disputed play was repeated, and the game went on as before. (In this age of ultra-organized participation, how many kids even know what a "do-over" is?)

When the score became too lopsided in those sandlot games of yore, the two captains would rearrange the teams. Even then, as kids ourselves, we knew it was more exciting to play in a close game than in a rout. But the bottom line was that we had fun. Pure, simple, competitive fun.

So, if playing sports was such a joy when we were kids, how come many of us have lost sight of those ideals as grown-ups? Why are we depriving our own kids of the pleasures of sport? True, organized competition is not going away in our society-indeed, it offers many valuable attributes, safety consciousness among them-but I fear that our children's fun factor has been diminished.

I began writing Parents' Guide to Kids' Sports in this magazine six years ago from my perspective as a parent, coach, former athlete and pro team psychology adviser. There was great interest in the subject then, but it's even greater now,

because, frankly, some of the issues are more important, more serious. Too many parents and coaches feel that anything goes when it comes to their kids in sports. The prospects of college scholarships and pro contracts only make the stakes higher.

Increasingly, parents are becoming intense and confrontational. Coaches are losing their cool or burning out. And kids themselves are becoming disenchanted and simply walking away from sports-leaving behind all the many advantages that athletic competition, at its best, can provide.

Now that this column has resumed to cover all ages of youth sports, I'll be writing about what can be done, what is being done, and what should be done to make the experience beneficial for everyone. Whether your youngster is just starting out in sports or is competing at the high school varsity or junior varsity level, now's the time to take the games back from those who ruin sports. Let's give the fun back to our children.

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