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Sensible Solutions for Playing-Time Disputes

As seen in Sports Illustrated May 13, 2002

Posted: Wednesday June 22, 2005

This past winter the Blind Brook High boys’ basketball team went 28–1 and won the New York Class C public school state championship. Even so, the school let coach Jeff Charney go after the season, his 13th as head coach and 25th at Blind Brook.

The roots of Charney’s firing go back to the previous season. The team went to the sectional final, but a few influential parents, upset over their sons’ lack of playing time, complained to the school board. As a result Charney was told this season would be his last. The state title couldn’t save his job, even though he claims he tried to rotate all the players as much as possible.

As Charney’s dismissal shows, playing time is one of the biggest issues facing coaches, parents and players in youth sports—especially as kids get older. When they advance into more serious middle and high school competition, winning becomes a bigger priority, and therefore the better athletes see more action.

Problems often erupt because a parent believes his or her child has more talent than some of the starters and whines, “Why can’t the coach see that?” Parents will even badmouth other kids on the team in a thinly veiled effort to boost their own kid’s stock. Such juvenile behavior does more harm than good, and you can approach playing-time debates in much better ways.

First of all, follow your child’s lead. Sure, every athlete wants to be on the field. But the kids themselves are at practice every day and usually know best who deserves the most PT. So if your son or daughter isn’t upset, you probably shouldn’t be either. In Charney’s case, “the kids knew exactly their status, but the parents didn’t want to understand that,” he says. “They just interject right away and say, ‘My kid should be playing.’”

When your child truly feels shortchanged, suggest that he talk with the coach on his own. Handling situations like these without you will let him develop self-confidence and courage. You can help him rehearse what he wants to say, but give him the first chance to chat with the coach.

If that conversation doesn’t clear up the matter, you can follow up with the coach. Just make sure you go see him with a level head, and always remember he ultimately decides who plays when. You must respect that even if you disagree.

In discussing the issue with the coach, don’t try to argue that your child should play more. Instead be ready to listen attentively. Don’t expect promises of increased minutes or innings, but ask him to carefully explain how your child must improve to earn more PT. Only when you hear what the coach has to offer can your son or daughter start to make progress toward getting a bigger piece of the action.

Parents also must realize how difficult it is for any coach to balance winning with ensuring everybody plays. Of course, it’s easy for a coach to get all the players into lopsided games. Devising a rotation that keeps everyone happy in the close ones is much harder.

Coaches should make it a habit to get everyone off the bench at some point, even if it’s just for a minute or two. Breaking a sweat and getting the uniform a little dirty lets kids walk away feeling they really contributed to the team’s cause. And on days when the game gets out of hand, those second-string kids should get even more playing time.

The smart coach also knows that when he or she gives kids a chance, they’ll usually step up and play better than expected. When the coach shows some real confidence in the player’s ability to compete, more times than not, the youngster will respond in a positive way. Then everybody wins.

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