Back to Good Sports Home

The Gender Line Shift Shouldn't Cause a Rift

Posted: September 1, 2003

In 2002, a female wrestler from Wirt County, W.V., made it all the way to the high school boys' state championship match. On the flip side, a male athlete in Massachusetts earned headlines recently by starring for his high school's field hockey team, and another, in Washington D.C., played girls' lacrosse because his school didn't have a boys' program.

According to the National Federation of State High School Associations, 2,870 girls played prep football in the 2001–02 school year, and 1,141 were on baseball teams. Similarly, about 2,200 boys played traditionally female sports in 2002.

More than ever before, girls and boys are sharing high school ball fields, courts and ice rinks. These athletes aren't necessarily trying to become "pioneers" for their genders. They just want to play a sport they enjoy. And while most parents and young athletes themselves have no qualms about boys and girls playing on the same teams when the kids are younger than 11 or 12, it often becomes an issue for parents when gender lines are blurred on the more competitive high school varsity levels.

But it shouldn't be cause for alarm. Because they compete together at the younger ages, I find that today's teens are generally quite accepting, and even supportive, of teammates and opponents of the opposite sex. If it isn't a big deal to the kids, it shouldn't worry parents who grew up in a time when sports were much more strictly separated.

That's not to ignore the sensitivities these situations can create—sensitivities you should discuss with your child up front. Be honest with them. Point out that they'll have to change in separate locker rooms, that they may be taunted by fans (and even opposing parents) during games, and, of course, that the coach is obligated to treat him or her just like every other kid on the team. Don't expect any special favors. Also remind your son or daughter that they could meet some initial resistance. Sure, kids are more open-minded today, but some may still be skeptical, and total acceptance could take a little time.

And keep in mind the health factors. There's no question that many female athletes can physically handle contact sports such as wrestling, ice hockey or football. Parents must make certain, though, that they and their children fully understand the risks involved with competing against mostly bigger and stronger opponents. You should talk this over not only with your child, but also with your child's doctor.

Lastly, when boys and girls compete, there's the potential "shame" of "getting beat by a girl." Teenagers being who they are, this can be a tough blow to your son's self-esteem, and you must help him put it in perspective. At first, be sensitive and give him some space, but later on in the evening see if you can get him to talk about his feelings. The more he talks, the better off he'll be. And remind him that she actually was no different than any opponent: She trained hard and is an experienced competitor. She's probably beaten many boys. And he may not want to hear it, but he should understand—as should everyone—that female athletes have come a long way in the three decades since Title IX became law. In many instances, their level of skill and athleticism exceeds that of boys and men the same age.

If your kids want to cross traditional gender lines to

play a sport, make sure they grasp these potential issues. Then just be as supportive as possible, because it might not be easy for them.

Back to top

Back to Good Sports Home