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Don't Let Kids Leave Teammates Hanging

As seen in Sports Illustrated October 4, 2004

Posted: Wednesday March 30, 2005

An experienced high school baseball coach recently told me about a predicament he confronted last spring. Before the season, one of his team's best players had come to the coach and said that while he loved playing varsity baseball, he also wanted to continue to play on his travel soccer team.

The youngster told the coach that the soccer team played mostly weekends in major tournaments where he could showcase his skills to colleges. The athlete acknowledged that there would be conflicts between his soccer and baseball schedules, but the coach didn't think the player really seemed to care. He just wanted to do both.

How did the coach handle the athlete's request? "At first I didn't know what to say," he told me. "I was just sort of stunned that a high school senior didn't understand the basic concept of team commitment and how it applied to him. So I explained that commitment to a team has to be 100 percent. It just won't work any other way. I told the youngster to make a choice, and he chose soccer."

End of the story? Not quite. The coach wasn't surprised when the player's parents complained. They didn't see a problem with the conflicts, even though the coach explained that it wouldn't be fair to players who were there for every game and practice. But when other parents complained-"He's one of our best players," they said. "You're penalizing the whole team, even though he'd be there for most of the games"-the coach began to wonder if his understanding of team commitment had become outdated.

Not too long ago these kinds of conversations never would have taken place. Young athletes wouldn't dream of ever missing a practice, much less a game. They understood what coaches meant when they enforced the team concept from the first week of practice onward. "It's not fair to everyone else if you miss a practice," coaches would bark at us. "If you aren't here and fall behind, the rest of the team loses out, because we're counting on you."

The problem can be traced to a change in the way kids are introduced to sports. These days, youngsters grow up playing two and sometimes three sports in one season. It's not unusual for an eight-year-old to play soccer, hockey and maybe tennis during the fall. Perhaps team commitment is not taken as seriously at these younger ages. Besides, it's the rare eight-year-old who has soccer practice or hockey practice five days in a row right after school. So it's a little easier to balance it all.

But as athletes advance through their community sports programs, the team commitment should become more of a priority. At the high school level, coaches usually want their athletes to be just as devoted to the team's success as the coach himself is. He isn't going to be too keen on letting a player show up whenever it's "convenient." Like that baseball coach, he'll expect everyone to be there all the time or not at all (with the exception of injury, illness or other such circumstances).

So what's the answer? While it may be difficult for talented young athletes to choose one sport during each season, in most cases, that's what they must do to be fair to their teammates and coaches. And if an athlete decides that he just doesn't think he can miss out on playing for a travel team, then he should make it clear to his travel team coach that his high school team comes first.

It goes beyond just fairness to others. The athlete herself benefits by being committed to a team. Players learn how to work together toward common goals and how to sacrifice personal glory (and ego) for the greater good of a team. Grinding away on a daily basis with one's coaches and teammates creates camaraderie and self-discovery.

But to make all this happen, everything starts with the athlete saying, "Yes, I will always be here."

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