A dip in the gene pool

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Posted: Tuesday July 21, 1998 06:11 PM

So now there's an American guy who is a big-time synchronized swimmer.

Have you seen this?

Nineteen-year-old Bill May of Syracuse, New York teamed with Kristina Lum of Santa Clara, California to win a silver medal in the Goodwill Games the other night.

Great, huh? Bill's parents must be damned proud.

The gender-bending sport that always has made the least sense to me is female boxing.

Call me an old porky chauvinist pig, but I've always been kind of disgusted by the sight of two women just ripping each other's faces apart with assorted jabs and hooks and uppercuts.

I've said, more than once, that when the decline of Western Civilization eventually is chronicled, women's boxing will be mentioned in the first chapter.

Now there's this synchronized swimming business. Come on, Bill. This might be the stupidest sport in creation, anyway, sort of a cross between mime and modern dance and ... what was that game we always played in the neighbors' pool? Marco Polo?

The participants with their heavy make-up and the gunk in their hair always have looked as if they were heading toward one of those Jon Benet Ramsey beauty pagents. Now Bill is in the mix.

I'm all for equal opportunity, equal everything, do your own thing, blah, blah, blah. That does not mean that I can't see nonsense when I see it.

A guy in synchronized swimming is utter nonsense. Come on, Bill. Back to the buffet table. There must be some other sport you can pick.

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May wins rare male medal in synchronized duet Synchronized swimmer in line to become first male to medal Watch the silver medal performance of Bill May and Kristina Lum Watch highlights of Bill May's historic short program
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