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Flying high after the British

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  Alan Shipnuck - On Tour

SOMEWHERE OVER THE ATLANTIC -- Random musings on the way home from an epochal British Open:

It's eerie watching Tiger Woods methodically check off one career goal after the next, as if they are so many items on a grocery list. Following him at Pebble and now St. Andrews, I detect more relief than joy in him, more perfectionism than passion. This is not meant as a disparagement. Woods' ruthless pursuit of history takes a unique disposition, and whatever he's doing is obviously working. But I just wish he would pretend to be enjoying himself a little more, and maybe once in a while allow us to glimpse a crack in his overly polished veneer. Have you seen the old replay of Jack Nicklaus sinking his putt on the last hole to win his first St. Andrews Open in 1970? He was so excited he threw his putter a mile into the air and then had to duck to avoid being brained. Walking off the green he was as giddy as a schoolboy. It was great stuff and watching that highlight endlessly last week reminded me of how little we see that side of Tiger. ...

I never thought I would see the day, but David Duval actually turned into a sympathetic character during the last round. He played so hard, only to run out of bullets on the back nine and then, in the end, be stripped of his manhood in the Road Hole bunker. I hope he'll rebound, and one of these days find his old, impenetrable form. For a minute or two there on the front nine Sunday, when Duval was pouring in those birdies, it was actually kind of exciting. ... In a Tigerless world, Ernie Els would be getting a ticker-tape parade through downtown Johannesburg at this very moment. ... By the way, I decided to stop slagging off all the other reputed top players for their inability to beat Woods. Such a thing is obviously not possible. The current crop of guys is so conditioned to playing for second place that it is clearly their eternal fate. Somewhere out there right now is our only hope for an heir to the crown, probably a pimply 15-year-old beating balls into a cornfield from dawn to dusk. I just hope he materializes sometime soon. ...

It's cool shifting gears with your left hand. ... Nobody knows it, but Tom Lehman easily could have won this British Open. He finished the tournament with 52 straight holes without a bogey, but he made precious few birdies along the way. He left town lamenting, "If I could have made any putts at all, I would have gone super-low." ... For those of you who have never played golf in Scotland, the next website you visit should be that of a banking institution to set up a special savings account for the trip. The golf over there is so mind-blowing it's impossible to even describe. Before heading to the Open Championship I made a long detour to the Machrihanish Golf Club, on the Kintyre peninsula, the southwestern tip of the country and near enough to Northern Ireland to see its coast on a clear day. Machrihanish is a tiny little outpost, a four-hour drive from nowhere. The downtown consists of one restaurant, a post office and a pay phone. That's it, along with perhaps the most spectacular dunesland course in the world. It's like playing golf in a dream. ...

Jean Van de Velde is absolutely the coolest, funniest man in golf. I've found that talking to him is the best way to get rid of that not-so-fresh feeling that comes from having to interview the likes of David Toms. ... The best part of business class is the pick-your-own movies. Already this flight I've watched The Virgin Suicides ( Kirsten Dunst: Hello!) and American Psycho. Nothing like a little sex and violence to help pass the time. ... I was part of the mob that ran down the 18th fairway on Sunday trailing in Tiger's wake, and I have to say, it was pretty fun among the hooligans. A lot of unprintable humor, mostly pertaining to the last in a series of streakers, and much invective directed at the dour marshalls, who wouldn't let us get close to the 18th green. Amidst so many jolly revelers it was nice to know that not every Scot is a petulant curmudgeon, à la Colin Montgomerie. ... By the way, I'm more convinced than ever that Monty will die a bitter little man, shouting at random passersby his litany of excuses as to why he was never able to win a major. ...

Tida Woods has been stalking me all day. We were on the same flight from Edinburgh to London, the same interterminal shuttle bus, and now the same endless flight into L.A. It's been funny to see so many people making such a fuss over her. We were joking about what the betting odds are going to be at the PGA. She says, simply, "100 percent," which sounds about right. Sitting across from this soft-spoken little woman on the Heathrow trolley, all I could think was, From her loins sprang one of the greatest athletes of all time. Weird. ... From the Global Village Dept.: The best restaurant in St. Andrews is grimy little Chinese place, and it's been over a year since a white guy won a major. ... I'd love to stay and chat but I gotta run -- they're cuing The Next Best Thing. ... Kidding.

Sports Illustrated golf writer Alan Shipnuck will take you On Tour each week at golfplus.cnnsi.com. Click here to send Alan a question or a nice, friendly comment.


 
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