Fighting for his life

Chargers' GM takes on cancer with support on his side

LA JOLLA, Calif. -- The call from Lance Armstrong came one morning a couple of weeks back, and John Butler found it refreshingly direct.

With his bear-like build, Butler probably hasn't been on a bike since grade school. Even the mental image of it is enough to make you smile. But Butler picked up the phone that day because the San Diego Chargers' general manager has something in common with the world-class cyclist and well-known cancer survivor.

"He said, 'John, there are just two things,'" Butler said. "'Either you die, or you live. And you've got to choose what you want.' And I said, 'Lance, that choice has been made. So now we just go after it.'"

Diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer last month, Butler, 56, is going after it the only way he knows how. As he motors his golf cart around the edges of the Chargers' training camp practice fields at the University of California-San Diego, keeping an ever-vigilant eye on his young football team, the well wishes and warm thoughts of fans rain down on him from all directions.

"We're praying for you, John," shouts one Chargers fan, holding his small son in his arms. "Keep getting better, John. Keep getting better," adds another. Later, former San Diego cornerback Scott Turner comes up to Butler's cart to offer his encouragement, asking his former boss to read an uplifting passage from Isaiah, Chapter 53 when he gets home that night. Butler promises he will.

Most days are like this for Butler: a series of almost hourly reminders that come wrapped in love and concern for his fight.

"It's unbelievable," Butler said Monday afternoon. "People are so wonderful, in the mail and the calls I get. It's a little overwhelming."

In truth, Butler doesn't know quite what to make of the outpouring of attention. It's deeply appreciated, but he's also trying to go about his business of running a football organization, with all of its attendant needs and worries. He desperately doesn't want his plight to become the story of the 2002 Chargers and has low-keyed his battle with the leading cause of cancer deaths in America.

"People have been just so good to me, but I want these guys thinking about nothing but football," Butler said. "And I think we've gotten over it as a team. They probably don't realize it here, but if this was the beginning of February, I don't know what I would have done. The football saves me.

"I can take the chemo and come out here and be in my own element. This is tremendous therapy. Just tremendous. And without it I don't know where I'd be."

Butler, a former Marine, already has undergone two three-day stints of chemotherapy. He gets 18 days between cycles, and has another four chemo sessions scheduled. After that, radiation treatment -- five days a week for six weeks -- is planned in an effort to eradicate the cancerous tumor.

So far, Butler's only concession to the disease has been his ever-present baseball cap, which hides his now-bald pate. Even that he turns into a source of humor, joking that folks are forever confusing him with 5-foot-9, 184-pound Chargers receiver Tim Dwight, who also sports the shaved-head look.

"Your haircut's looking good," kids Dwight, who has been labeled, of course, Butler's "Mini-me."

Butler is lucky in one sense. Some people never get to find out just how beloved they are. But he has, and it has been a humbling experience. His fight has inspired many in the Buffalo area, where he worked with the Bills for so long, to write, call or e-mail their support.

"Those people in Buffalo, it's amazing how much love I get from them," he said. "You have no idea how wonderful that is, or how many people care. It's more than I ever dreamed.

"I've always been a God-fearing man. Maybe not as much of a churchgoer, but gee, all these prayer cards I get. It makes you feel great. I tell people their prayers are working. I know they are. Because I don't feel like a sick guy. I really don't feel sick."

There are no plans for Butler to scale back his schedule or pass off any of his duties with the Chargers as his medical battle intensifies. He is approaching both his second season running the show in San Diego and his physical fight the same way: full steam ahead, with no shortcuts taken.

His only fear is for others, namely his wife, Alice, and his 17-year-old daughter, Andrea.

"At first, Alice was just in shock. But now she's like the wife I've had for 26 years," said Butler, a longtime smoker who quit last year at the insistence of his daughter. "She's in the battling mode. And Andrea, bless her heart, she couldn't believe at first that there was something wrong with Dad. But she'll be fine. When I get all done with this chemo and radiation and they say that baby's gone, then they'll all be better."

But until then, Butler fights on. He has the business of football to mind to. A roster to oversee. A team goal or two to chase.

"You know, at first they told me -- left untreated -- it would be four to nine months," Butler said. "I was like, 'You don't understand. We have a season to play.' And now as we go through it, and understand the treatment, you make up your mind to just battle. Just battle it.

"And if this doesn't work, I'll try something else. But in the meantime, I want to get these guys to feel what a championship feels like. I know they'd love it."

 

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