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Bo knows what might have been

You know how you tell yourself, "I just knew something bad would happen. I just knew it"? Call it a premonition, or something, but I just knew it while I was compiling my list of runners last week; I just knew something bad would happen. I had books piled up on the floor and lists of old statistics, and I said to myself, "It's not gonna happen. I'm not gonna leave anyone out." But I knew I would. I just hoped the omission wouldn't be too bad, something not too embarrassing.

Well, it was bad, and along with my own suffering, poor old Jimmy had to wade through "at least 300 e-mails," as he related it to me, which meant more hours of work in an already crowded day, needless hours of deprivation, away from the boys in the gin mill ... check that ... away from his family and loved ones. All because The Doctor screwed it up.

Who did I leave off? Bo Jackson, in my Might Have Been section. Which was pointed out by all those e-mailers, too numerous to name. I can only list them by regiment and platoon. It's fixable. The piece that I did now lives in the archive section. You reach this by clicking on some part of me or my name that appears on the screen (or here) and hope for the best. Bo will be added to the Might Have's -- I mean he's the classic case -- at the end of the column. Just do me a favor and pretend that this was the way it read all along. Brother, the things that happen to you when you're trying to be a good lad and stay out of trouble.

George of East Brunswick, N.J., thanks me for remembering Redskins halfback Larry Brown. You're welcome. He also wants my evaluation of Chuck Foreman and Chris Hanburger, a linebacker who somehow snuck into the running backs' dormitory. Hanburger first. I always thought this type of LB was underrated, the guy with the great nose for the ball (no, Linda, I did not say nose like a ball), who spends an afternoon stopping runners near the line but doesn't make the highlight reels because he's not a blitzmobile. Foreman, to me, was the glue that held the Vikings' offense together. A highly efficient runner and a Larry Centers-type on his pass routes. On the subject of running backs and my ratings of last week, I'm sorry I didn't include Billy Sims on my list of those who came close. For a few years he was pure dynamite. Unfortunately, not enough years. John Riggins, another topic of the e-mails that deluged Jimmy, was mentioned among the guys I almost included. I was beat man on the Jets when he was drafted. A terrific size and speed guy and talented pass receiver. George Allen changed him to up-back in the I-formation and his career almost tanked. Then he became the heavy-duty diesel and goal line specialist. That's three careers for one guy, not a bad afternoon's work. And thank you, George, for your appreciation of my appreciation of history.

Kevin of Fontana, Calif., wants to know if it's a risk to use a kickoff man to take up a spot on the roster. Well, if he can consistently reach the end zone, as you say he can, sign him up right away. The leading touchback kicker in the NFL, Sebastian Janikowski, is less than 50 percent putting 'em into the end zone (14 touchbacks out of 33 kickoffs). If your field goal guy is consistent enough when going for the points but is killing you on kickoffs, then I'd say it's a good move.

Tom Brady is under scrutiny. Every time I turn on a sports channel I hear someone say that the Patriots really screwed up with Brady and Bledsoe. Now Duckworth of Hartford, Conn., is asking the hard questions about the Patriots' QB. The real deal or a Brett Favre wannabe? I've always been in Brady's corner. Sure, he looks pretty desperate these days, but what part of the team doesn't? He's a mirror of the ill fortunes that have befallen the champs. Just think back to the way he came up big at the end of last year, especially the winning drive in the Super Bowl. Don't be so quick to rush to judgment. Ride it out.

Russell of Madison, Wisc. -- and thanks, Russ -- wants to know my thoughts on Cris Carter's impact on the Dolphins. I think I answered this one in last week's Rankings, but I'll give you a repeat performance. I said I thought his impact would be around four catches for 48 yards per game. But now I hear that his workouts down there really have been great, so I'll upgrade it to four for 55.

Michael Vick compared to Randall Cunningham, Steve Young and Joe Montana, is what Eduardo J. of Cayey, Puerto Rico, would like from your faithful narrator. Sure, I'll compare anything with anything at anytime. None of that "apples and oranges" stuff with me. Young actually played running back for a while with the L.A. Express in the USFL. Good speed, great moves. Vick has great moves and the kind of speed I don't remember ever seeing in a QB. I'm qualifying this because I know, the way my luck is running, that if I say "greatest speed ever for a QB," Jimmy's gonna get 300 more e-mails about some forgotten Olympic champ who lined up at the quarterback position once upon a time. Cunningham was fast, too, but he was more of a galloper and leaper, and he could break tackles with his strength. Tacklers had a hard time figuring out the proper angle to take on him. Montana wasn't a great threat to pick up serious yardage with his scrambles, but what he could do better than any of them was throw the ball with accuracy on the move, from bad positions.

Lou of Spruce Pine, N.C., positively implores Jimmy to let his query through, and I'm glad you did, Jimbo, because he seems like a nice guy. Here's the query: Why have the Bucs so rudely turned their backs on Shawn King when for a while he was hailed as the young savior? Same deal as Ray Lucas when he was with the Jets. I think it's the jilted lover syndrome. They fall in love with a guy, but then he doesn't quite measure up to what they predicted for him, so into the doghouse he goes, and they spend the next few years looking for somebody, anybody who's better. And many times they end up with people who are worse. Yes, Lou, I think King should get another opportunity -- but not with the Bucs. And I'll give your best to The Redhead when she returns from her week in Gay Paree, where she's energizing her career as an artist so that someday she'll be able to support me in my dotage, which, by the looks of things, isn't too far off. So if she's in Paris, squeaks the Little Voice of Truth, how come you gave her credit for that one liner about a nose like a ball, huh? Hey, shaddup you! I don't need any help with this thing.

Gabe of Philly says the Eagles' secondary is well known, but how about the front seven? Going from left to right up front -- I've always liked Brandon Whiting as a good, hustling motor guy. I don't see Corey Simon as Pro Bowl caliber, as some people do. There are moments in games when you kind of lose track of him, but I'm told that it's because he gets double-teamed so much. You have to love Darwin Walker, who has had some really big performances this year. I guess the Iggles do, too, because they recently re-did his contract for big bucks, which makes a lot of sense because he'd be snapped up in a heartbeat if he ever came on the market. Hugh Douglas is a bigtime sacker and a chaser, but teams have attacked him at the point. I like both their relievers from the bench, Paul Grasmanis, a good, solid inside run plugger, and Ndukwe Kalu, their rusher from the wing. I took notice of this guy the first time I saw him, and couldn't understand how the Eagles could ever have cut him. And then I couldn't understand why the Redskins let him slip back to the Eagles. There are a lot of things I don't understand. Still another good outside rusher is Derrick Burgess, who's hurt now. Alternating all these people puts an awful lot of pressure on O-lines, which I think is a key to Philly's success.

Now, on to the linebackers. (Am I boring you non-Philly fans out there? Relax, it'll be over in a minute.) Carlos Emmons on the strong side used to be the first guy lifted in the nickel. No more, not while Levon Kirkland is around. Emmons is having a career year. A tough hitter, and better in his coverage than I ever thought he could be. Kirkland, I think, was a mistake. I guess it means that they're really down on Barry Gardner, but teams that can figure out how to get Kirkland in coverage will pick up an automatic first down. Not easy to do. The team tries to protect him as much as possible, and keeps him around for run-stopping, which he can sort of do if the action is nearby. He's like a nasty dog on a short leash. He'll bite you if you get too close, but if you're out of range, all he can do is bark. I don't think Shawn Barber is as active as he was in Washington, but they don't ask him to do as much as the Redskins did. Does this answer it for you, Gabe? For further information, please consult the Archives. Look under B for Boring.

To Mike of Calgary, Alberta: Thanks, Mike. Yes, I'm a cat lover. And a dog lover, too. Actually all animals, except swans (yeah, I know, they're birds), which I believe are the gangsters of the animal kingdom, but they look nice so they get away with it. The Flaming Redhead, incidentally, has great rapport with the swans on the lake behind our house. They'll come over to her to be fed. If I try to intrude, they immediately begin hissing. Red alert! Red alert! Nasty fatso approaching! Anyway, Mike wants to know about the Bears. Step one -- get a new offensive philosophy. Four-yard checkdowns get a little old after a while. Step two -- teach Brian Urlacher to take on blockers. I know that's not what they hired him for. His speed and range simply wows 'em, but he's playing it softer and softer and the Lions made him a target. Step three, which is for the future -- find another pass rusher so Roosevelt Colvin won't burn himself out.

To Dave of Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, where I once almost signed a contract, honest: you want to know how the scripting of plays works when game situations change. Well, the only coach who ever let me get a look at his script was Bill Walsh, and when I asked him precisely what you're asking me, he got a little vague and the conversation was over. From what I can gather, there's a normal script for normal game situations, but in abnormal conditions, such as enemy goal line, a modified version kicks in and they go to Script B. Very few scripts are followed exactly. A coach usually gets away from it sooner than expected. Reminds me of a story I heard a long time ago, I mean really long, when I was a kid and used to read Winning Football by Bernie Bierman and those kinds of opuses. The coach wants his signal-caller to feel out the opposition, so he sends him in with instructions to run three plays and punt. First play's a long gainer. So's the second one. Third one gets them down to the other team's 1-yard line. On play No. 4 they punt the ball out of the stadium. That hilarious tale is a reward for the nice things you said about my work.

Vince of Oviedo, Fla., wants to sack the extra point and substitute something more imaginative. I've heard this lament about the boring PAT for as long as I can remember. And I've heard as many solutions as you could possibly dream up. Award one point for passing, two for running. Put the ball back farther and give 'em three if they score. Or give 'em an ice cream cone. Or something. So many different ideas bouncing around and the league's answer is always the same. We have a great game. Leave it alone. And then the inevitable platitude, which I hate: If it ain't broke, don't fix it. To which I always reply that, using that philosophy, we never would have any progress in the world. Clunk! That's the sound my reply makes as it hits the floor.

Eric of Dallas questions the proliferation of hefty fines for helmet shots. Just a few hours ago I heard Mark Schlereth say on ESPN: "If you want to do away with helmet hits, bring back the leather helmet." Without the face bars, like in the old days. This is extreme, and slightly goofy, I know. But think of it. With your face exposed you're not going to be so frisky about leading with your head, unless you're nuts to begin with. I played in both the face-guard and non-face-guard eras (actually, they always had them, but the guys who wore them, and they were made of leather -- that's the masks, not the players -- were considered chicken) and you could look at any number of coaching manuals in the old days, and you'd always read that you tackle with your shoulder and wrap up. The kill shots with the head only became standard coaching material once the face bars arrived. It seems that the level of fine is keyed to the cosmetic nature of the injury, since, as we all know, the NFL is primarily in the image business. Darren Woodson's hit, which caused Darrell Jackson to go into convulsions in the locker room, drew $75,000. Brian Dawkins got socked $50,000 for laying out Ike Hilliard and ending his season -- on national Monday night TV. Other hits that were just as vicious drew lesser fines because the results weren't as devastating. Actually, what the league is doing is upping the ante as these things show less-than-desired signs of abating.

Hall of Fame question from John of Farmingham, Maine, just on the very day when I received my preliminary ballot -- pick 12. Who do I see making it? Can't answer that one yet, because I just glanced at the thing. I know there's a whole bunch of names there that are hardly worthy, and I'm still bitter about the idea that my proposal for bringing in two senior candidates every year instead of one seems to be dying in committee. You ask about Steve Tasker. Well, Marv Levy wrote a very strong letter on his behalf. I'd be happy if he made it. Would I vote for him? That's a tough one. Depends on whom I'd have to leave off. I'm not trying to shy away from Hall of Fame questions. It's just that it's too early to get into it right now. My ballot has to be in by Nov. 11. At that time I'll tell you who I checked off, unless the Hall of Fame says this is positively forbidden, then I'll do it anyway. Hey, I'm just kidding, Mr. Horrigan. Don't get mad, OK?

Steve of North Vancouver (what is this, O Canada Week?) wonders why some good teams have lousy special teams and vice versa. Me, too. I didn't think my chart would come up the way it did. It surprised me. I think that in the chart I pointed out the reasons for each team being where it was. Sometimes a good team can have a weak special teams coach. Some teams are more hesitant about using regulars on kick and punt units or coverage units. The thing that's always bothered me is that given all the lip service coaches pay to special teams, when it comes time to spending money for these guys, it never happens. Thanks, Steve, for the nice things you said.

Brian of Terre Haute, Ind., takes my Edgerrin James thesis a little farther. No, he says, it's not just the rehabbing knee that's the problem, it's lack of courage. It's tough for me to say this. Unless I really know how much pain he's playing in, I can't level such a harsh accusation. I only said that they're kidding themselves when they think he's playing like a functional NFL running back and I can't understand why they don't sit him down until he gets his knee, or himself, or whatever's bothering him, back together.

T. Norris of Scottsdale, Ariz., feels that offensive coordinator Bruce Coslet is the real problem with the Cowboys. I didn't see the Seattle game, so I can't comment on how they used Chad Hutchinson. I don't like their offense in general, nor the use of their personnel. But I'd say that it's a real tough job to be a head coach or a coordinator under Jerry Jones. He favors yes-men. Jimmy Johnson and Norv Turner did things basically without interference (except sometimes in personnel) and Jimmy and the boss had a falling out. I think Jones wants to show the world that the organization is so strong it can win on the strength of its personnel, just as they do in college, and the coaching part of it is secondary. Well, he proved it when he brought in Barry Switzer off the street and won a Super Bowl with him. Now that philosophy is biting him. Not all of what you see is Coslet's fault.

Jeremy of Apache Junction, Ariz., feels I made a big mistake in ranking Emmitt over Barry Sanders on my all-time list. A lot of people agree with you, especially those who can look past all the recent hysteria. This was the toughest choice on the board. Yes, Sanders was a better pure runner. But to me, the deciding factor in Emmitt's favor was the effect he had on his team, the way it played when he had to carry the load. A player who can consistently elevate the performance of those around him is really special.

John of Sterling, Va., offers help in restocking the Bengals with Sopranos characters. I know you worked hard on this one, Johnnyboy (that was the name of Tony's dad, remember?) but I'm gonna have to reject all three of your choices. Paulie Walnuts as the third-string QB? You have to be kidding. He's about to launch a rebellion against Tony because he feels he isn't getting his fair share of playing time. Ralphie as "kicker or cheerleader?" Nope. Too dumb to remember plays or routines. As for Artie Bucco, you can have him and all that glop he serves up. I have it on good authority that his restaurant is wildly overrated, and the only reason Tony eats there is that he's on a guilt trip about blowing up his place a couple of years ago. Hey, answer this one for me: Are you as upset as I am that we never got to see what Furio actually did to that French con artist?

Sarah R. of NYC wants to know how I enjoyed Halloween. Out here in Jersey you don't enjoy it, you survive it. I had to go out so I left a big bag of candy outside, turned on all the lights, and taped a note to the front door: Nobody home. Help yourself but please leave some for the other kids. When I came back, the bag was gone, the note was gone and a note we had written for FedEx deliverymen about how we were authorizing them to leave packages for us was ripped off, torn into pieces, and left scattered on the ground. Naturally, this makes me feel reassured. I was afraid the Jersey kids were getting soft.

Thanks to those of you who wrote to answer my question from last week about an expansion team being a favorite in its first year. Several alert readers let us know the Carolina Panthers, in their inaugural season, were a one-point favorite against Arizona.

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