Feeling flushed

Lowe's offers everything from toilet repair to single's ticket

Is it just me, or do the best stories in NASCAR always seem to be flushed out at Lowe's Motor Speedway?

You'll recall last year's Jet-Powered Outhouse, and now it's time for the second annual Great Speedway Toilet Flush. As part of the pre-event facilities inspection, officials will test the speedway's sewer and water infrastructure about 7:15 p.m. EDT Tuesday. The idea is to flush the speedway's 3,000-plus toilets simultaneously, simulating "peak demand" on the system -- and official "Royal Flush Society" T-shirts will be given to the first 500 participants.

It's all in preparation for activities that begin May 16 with qualifying for The Winston and the inaugural Truck series Hardee's 200 and conclude May 25 with the 44th annual Coca-Cola 600.

But all that's water under the Certain Seal No. 400 with an 8-inch beaded chain toilet flapper. What's getting a handle on an American Standard when you can get a handle on another American standard: the singles scene?

Dan Robbins, a 38-year-old truck driver from Des Moines, Iowa, is looking for a NASCAR-style Bachelorette, but not necessarily a Love Connection. Dan has a spare ticket for the Coca-Cola 600 and is advertising in the classifieds: "Free Coke 600 ticket for single female. Looking for someone to hang out with and have a good time. Call Dan at (515) 480-2807."

Dan also has never been married and is a non-smoker. "However, if Miss Winston wants the ticket, we'll definitely talk," he jokes. There is an age requirement (21 to 35), but he has no hair color preference. "The ideal woman would be an Earnhardt fan, but it's not a deal breaker.

"I'm not sure what made me think of it, but I read the classifieds in Winston Cup Scene," Dan says. "They have a section titled 'Tickets for Sale,' so I thought this would be a great way to advertise my extra ticket. I thought it might be easier and more enjoyable than finding a guy to hang out with."

This is Dan's fifth year for Charlotte, a trip usually reserved with his brother. However, his brother is on military assignment in Korea and Uncle Sam doesn't share the same affinity for going fast and turning left as many of us. So, Dan's looking for someone to pinch-hit on the party scene.

"I was hoping to meet someone I could hang out with Saturday and Sunday," he says. "Since I am flying in, I would love to find someone who could bring a grill and cooler -- stuff my brother usually brought that I can't bring on a plane.

"I fly in on Wednesday [May 21] of race week, so we could go sightseeing around Charlotte, visit race shops, go to Food Lion Speed Street and then tailgate at the track and watch some great racing," Dan says. And there is no experience necessary; Dan notes he would be happy to educate a novice fan about racing.

I called Dan on Monday afternoon to see how the search for his ticket-taker was going. "I've only had one call today," he said, "but I'm going to wait until the end of this week to decide."

Now, ladies, before you get all gussied-up and dab the Jovan Musk perfume behind the ears, Dan's not looking for love, but .... "There's no obligation for a long-term relationship or romance," he says. "I'm going into this with an open mind. Anything is possible."

After all, it is Lowe's Motor Speedway.

B. Duane Cross is a senior producer for SI.com.

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