Your Olympic Quiz

A not-so-conventional primer for the Games

Since everybody knows all about sacred Olympic history, it's time for your Olympic quiz. Please answer out loud, as if you were talking on a cell phone.

(All answers are true or false)

1: The Olympic torch relay originated in the fifth century B.C., but only went to the cities that could boast Olympic champions.

False. The idea for the Olympic torch was dreamed up as a 20th-century German marketing gimmick. The ancient torch was first lit -- by selected virgins -- on July 20th, 1936 especially for the Nazi Olympics.

2: After Lake Placid (twice) and Squaw Valley, the 2002 Games are the fourth Winter Olympics awarded to a U.S. city.

False. There have been five. In 1970, Denver was voted the '76 host, but, for the only time in Olympic history, the honor was rejected. In a referendum, the beautiful people of Denver said something like "three-four-five-six, we don't want your rotten Olympics."

3: Maybe not Denver, but Nero wanted to participate in the Games so much, that he had them moved from Olympia to Rome.

True. It happened in in 65 A.D., when Nero himself competed in the chariot race. He fell off his chariot, but still declared himself the winner on the grounds that if he had stayed on he would have won. (The ultimate in "upon further review.")

4: The beautiful and thriving city of Olympia was chosen to host the Games because the great Temple of Zeus was located there.

False. It was the other way around. The temple, one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, was erected after the Games brought Olympia to prominence. In fact, the luxury-loving International Olympic Committee members would never have chosen Olympia. It was a hot and dusty backwater with no accomodations or sanitation facilities for the 40,000 spectators. Olympia could, however, boast millions of flies and insufferable smoke from animal sacrifices. Also, every prostitute in the Peloponnesus worth her salt decamped there during the Games.

5: But everybody knows that no woman except the priestess representing Demeter, the goddess of the harvest, would be allowed in the Olympic stadium.

Sorry, that's false, too. Whereas any married woman who snuck in would be pitched to her death from the nearby mountain at Typaeum, virgins were admitted to the stadium. However, as in 1936, we do not know who decided which women were the virgins.

6: The Greeks stopped wars for the Olympics.

False. This is the biggest myth of all, still sneakily propagated by the IOC, who asked the United States, in keeping with this alleged tradition, to suspend the war against terrorism. Yes, safe conduct passes for spectators and athletes were awarded, but you think the Spartans were going to stop fighting wars for some stupid games? But here are two other forgotten Olympic ordinances we should revive: No legal disputes could be pursued during the games nor could anyone be executed.

7: The amateur athletes only received a laurel wreath for winning.

False. The Greek athletes were pros, and they took in cash on the barrelhead, plus bonuses like real estate, women and draft deferments.

Time's up. All virgins assemble over here with me. We've been awarded safe conduct passes through the Las Vegas strip, and we're off to Salt Lake City.

Sports Illustrated senior contributing writer Frank Deford is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com and appears each Wednesday on National Public Radio's Morning Edition. His new novel, The Other Adonis (Sourcebooks Landmark), is available now at bookstores everywhere.

The opinions expressed here are solely those of the writer.

 

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