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A 'walk' through the Hall

After I wrote about the recent World Golf Hall of Fame induction ceremonies, several readers asked about the Hall itself, what's in it and whether it's worth the trip. I thought I'd respond to those questions and give you a virtual tour of the Hall.

After paying your $10 admission fee and pausing to grouse about how high it is, you walk upstairs to the spacious exhibit area, where the items on display have been divided into 18 areas. Why not a round number, like 20? Well, 18 is a number that is important in golf. (I think it's the amount of mulligans you're allowed in one round.) Here we go, area by area. At the end of each hole, I'll grade the display using golf terminology. Par means not bad, perfunctory, what was expected. Birdie means good. Bogey means they should've used one of their mulligans. Double bogey means Can I still get a refund? I just got an emergency call and have to leave.

MAILBAG Skins Game coordinators should watch Win Ben Stein's Money on Comedy Central. Instead of doing a Skins Game, play Win Tiger Woods' Money. Give Tiger a $1.8 million appearance fee. Let Tiger battle with three randomly selected club pros, and if a club pro wins any hole, he would get $100,000 from Tiger's purse. Wouldn't that add interest? Watching, and hoping, that a gazillionaire actually loses money! —Mike Malick, Cleveland Ben Stein's program was a favorite of mine until sidekick Jimmy Kimmel was replaced by that awkward, unfunny thing called Nancy. Seriously, how did she get that job? Mike, your idea is brilliant. I like it, although I'm not so fired up about the club-pro part. Let Sergio García, Annika Sorenstam and, say, me, try to swipe Tiger's money. Then, after the golf, ask us each the same 10 general-knowledge questions for another $100K. OK, if you insist, instead of me, how about a supermodel? I agree with your statements regarding slow play and how novices should learn to play the game at the correct pace. This was my first season and I used your ideas and more. The group I was in played best ball, teed off from the forward tees and picked up at seven strokes. It allowed me to practice and keep pace at the same time. I did not worry about strokes, just learning the game. Keep up the excellent advice. —Martin B., Aurora, Ill. Thanks, Martin. Any relation to Aunt Bee? One of my teammates in my Thursday-night golf league contends that every golfer should have a license to play, just as one does to drive. The license would be awarded if the applicant passes written and skills tests. Lo and behold, there is such a thing in Norway. Norwegians must pass exams and skills tests to play golf. The license must be presented to purchase a greens fee. Perhaps the USGA should sponsor such a program. The procedure wouldn't be hard to design, since a prototype already exists. I believe it's a viable solution to some of the problems that exist in the game at the casual-golfer level. —Tom Brown, Brooklyn Park, Minn. I think it's a great idea, but let's face it, Tom, public courses aren't going to have the backbone to use such a system and possibly drive away even one paying customer. Also, watch that use of the word viable. Makes you sound like a government-speak official. Your response to the question posed by Mike C. of Baltimore was unfortunately incorrect. There is a penalty for putting toward your partner's line and subsequently showing him the line. Both the competitor and his partner would be penalized -- a two-stroke penalty in stroke play and DQ in match play (Decision 30-3f/6). —Scott Burr, Rancho Mirage, Calif. I stand corrected, Scott. Actually, I'm sitting down, but I think you get the point. Of course, you've got to be subtle about this deal if you're going to pull it off. I doubt that it's happened much and the issue is easily avoided if the opponents simply concede the putt of the partner who has weaseled his way onto the other player's line.

Front nine

1. The Royal & Ancient Game. Artifacts from golf's origins. Wake me when we get to Tiger. Grade: A grudging par.

2. St. Andrews. Followed by the cliché the Home of Golf. You can walk across a replica of the Old Course's Swilcan Burn bridge. Kind of neat, but it kills only five seconds. To quote Peggy Lee, "Is that all there is?" Grade: Par.

3. Making a Living at Golf. Famous clubmakers and ballmakers and their tools. Gosh, is that a real awl? Have we gotten to Tiger yet? Grade: Bogey.

4. Putting Green. A synthetic putting green, with speed (supposedly) suited to how fast greens really were in the 1880s. You can check out an old wood putter and a gutta-percha ball. That's pretty cool, although it would be cooler if you still didn't feel like you were putting on AstroTurf. Grade: An 1880s virtual driving range would make this an eagle. Instead ... birdie.

5. British Isles and Beyond. Why do I think of Buzz Lightyear and "To infinity ... and beyond!" How the game and equipment evolved at the end of the 19th century. Pictures. Plaques. Snoozing. Grade: Par.

6. America Discovers Golf. A video about golf at the turn of the century, with photos and artifacts. Not bad. Grade: Par.

7. Golden Era. More artifacts, stuff on Bobby Jones and another video. Grade: Par.

8 Leveling the Playing Field. Politically correct exhibit about minorities getting into the game. Saying it must mean it's true. A collage of pictures, plaques. Superficial, at best. Grade: Bogey.

9. Golf Writers. Hey, lookee. A couple of books. Wonder what's in them? Eh, probably just a bunch of words. Grade: Bogey.

Front-nine score: Two over par.

Back nine

10. Caddie Heritage. The official Hall brochure says this is where the history of the caddie comes alive. All I see are some photos, caddie badges, a bag full of golf gear and a Golf Digest article about Augusta National's loopers. Since when does a golf bag and a magazine clipping constitute a legitimate display? And how can you talk about the history of the caddie without identifying any of them? Where are the rollicking tales of Akron Trash, Bullet, Dump Truck, Rabbit, Angelo, Alfie and Tip and the rest? Grade: Bogey.

11. Age of Television. Best idea in the Hall is wasted: One-hour Shell's Wonderful World of Golf matches edited into four-minute snippets, sucking the life out of them. Worse, they're viewed on six four-inch screens that are bunched together within a few feet of each other, so the audio from the other five makes it difficult to hear the TV in front of you. You wouldn't be able to see the screens, either, if there was any kind of a crowd ... but of course, that's probably unlikely. You should be able to punch up the Shell's match you want to see, watch it on a bigger screen and at least see some of the match's key shots. Grade: Bogey.

12 Global Golf Center. Six online connections so you can go to tour-approved Web sites and get golf news and updates. It's kind of like being on your home computer. Oh, wait. It's exactly like that. Museum rule: If you can do the same thing at home, it's a waste of space. Grade: Bogey.

13. Elements of Golf Course Design. Photos of famous courses and quotes from architects. Superficial and barely scratches the surface. This one cries out for some 3-D models or displays. How about a model of Augusta National as it was in 1934 next to one as it is today? How about a little effort? Grade: Bogey.

14. Keepers of the Green. Only a golf-course superintendent would find this interesting -- old mowers, cup-cutters and cutaways of what a green built to USGA specs looks like. Hey, is that a layer of real gravel beneath the subsoil? Wow! Worse, this dull display takes up an enormous amount of space. Grade: Double bogey.

15. Rules of the Game. Play along with a televised quiz hosted by players Donna Andrews and Dan Pohl (why them, I have no idea) on the rules of the game. Don't worry, most players don't know a lot of the rules, either. The subject is dull but the interactive part is fun. Grade: Birdie.

16. Finding the Swing. You can play a hole at one of 40 famous courses around the world on a swing simulator. Mildly interesting. Grade: Par.

17. Hall of Fame Open. Visitors compete in a sink-the-winning-putt contest against other visitors. Their names appear on an electronic scoreboard, their putts are televised on several monitors around the green and the winner gets interviewed (badly) by a Hall volunteer. Taped crowd noise (much too faint) accompanies makes and misses. A good idea executed amateurishly. Grade: Par.

18. Great Championship Moments. How can you go wrong with video highlights? You can't. Three times as many highlights would be better. Grade: Par.

Back nine score: Five over par.

Total: Seven over par.

19th hole

I made this category up. Alongside a wall of artifacts and viewing screens, each inductee has an inscribed glass etching. The drawings are much too small and the plaques look suspiciously like ash trays. Grade: Bogey.

The main glass cases house artifacts. Compared to other sports halls of fame, it's a miniscule number. On the other hand, you've seen one golf club and one golf ball, you've seen them all. Some of the best artifacts are the most arcane. Patty Berg's baseball glove and her old football. Raymond Floyd's baseball bat, given to him by the Chicago Cubs to commemorate his Masters win. Sam Snead's lunch pail. Babe Zaharias' shag bag. New inductee Greg Norman donated the flight helmet he wore when he flew in a Navy jet and landed on an aircraft carrier, while Donna Caponi handed over some junior clubs, her favorite putter and one of her U.S. Open trophies. Some items are too arcane, like Jack Nicklaus' fishing pole. It's just a pole like any other. Can I tell it once belonged to Jack? No. And if I could, I still wouldn't care. The number and quality of the artifacts is severely lacking. Grade: Bogey.

Another large display case houses replicas of an assortment of important tournament trophies. It would be better if you could touch them -- like the NHL lets the Stanley Cup mingle with the public -- and have your picture taken holding one of them. The Hall folks are thinking about that option, but if they do it they'll take the picture and try to sell it to you (probably at an outrageous premium). Grade: Bogey.

The Hall's best feature is the small viewing screens set against one wall. You can use them to get a list of every inductee, biographical information about their careers and video of them in action. Excellent. Again, they clips are edited to be awfully short and leave you wanting more, but it's the right idea. Grade: Birdie (could be an eagle if upgraded).

One other thing: You can take an elevator to the Hall of Fame Tower, 110 feet up, where you get a spectacular view of ... surrounding flat Florida. There's also a gift shop (I think you know what to expect there) and an IMAX theater (always impressive, but it costs extra). Adjacent to the Hall are several stores, the terrific Caddyshack restaurant owned by Bill Murray and his brothers, and the Slammer & Squire golf course, a fun (but pricey) Florida layout.

My favorite display: In the Hall lobby, President Dwight Eisenhower's sky-blue golf cart that resembles a Nash Rambler. It screams '50s. Very cool.

Overall grade: C. Has potential, needs work.

Sports Illustrated senior writer Gary Van Sickle writes the weekly Golf Plus: Notebook and is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com. Click here to send him a question or comment.

 

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