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Identity Crisis Quiz A cheeky way to review the year in golfPosted: Monday December 10, 2001 6:18 PM
Sure, you said you were paying attention. I'm pretty sure Ian Woosnam's caddie said the same thing at this year's British Open. Now he's Woosie's former caddie. So let's try a little quiz. See if you can deduce who's who in my Identity Crisis Quiz. (Answers are provided at the bottom of the page ... in case you don't have the guts or the brains to answer them all.) Questions
1. No, I'm not dead. I'm just not coaching football anymore. But I did show up to be the honorary greeter on the first tee at the Senior PGA Tour Championship this year. I wore my Super Bowl ring and welcomed each player to Oklahoma. I'm not real golf savvy, though. My cell phone went off right as Tom Jenkins was about to tee off. I told him it rang because he's from Austin, Texas. Who am I? 2. Security was so tight at this year's National Car Rental Classic at Disney World that fans weren't allowed on the course during our practice rounds. Even I, a famous Orlando, Fla., resident, was asked to show two forms of identification when I arrived for a Wednesday-morning practice round. I forgot to bring a photo ID. I probably left it in my other Buick. Mark O'Meara, who was with me, told the guards, "He's played here a couple of times ... but he's not a very good golfer." Ha ha, Mark-o. I will squash you like bug. Who am I? 3. I've played a few rounds of golf at Augusta National over the years, so I was pleased this year to be invited to become a member at the club. I was already an honorary member as a former Masters champion, but now, as only the second tour professional to become a full member, I can't wait to get a piece of Arnold Palmer in the members' club championship. I just hope he's playing in the championship flight. Who am I? 4. I invited myself to be Tiger Woods' pro-am partner for the Canadian Open and, holy Joan of Arc, I was a bigger load than the old Quebec Nordiques. I break 90 sometimes, but my only par on this day was at the 18th. A big crowd turned out and I felt more pressure than in the House of Commons. Here's how bad I was: I sliced into a bunker on the par-3 seventh hole, fluffed my first blast, then grounded my club in the sand (a penalty stroke) before hitting over the green into another bunker. Do I pick up? No. My next shot hits the lip, stays in the bunker, then I hit it long and over the green again, causing fans to dive out of the way. Finally, I pick up ... after I step in Tiger's line for his birdie putt. Later, I hit a television cameraman in the head with a shot. Guess I should stick to politics. Who am I? 5. I'm one of the young guns of golf. Although I wiped out in the PGA Tour's Q school, I'm still a big name in my native Australia. Like my family, I'm a devout follower of the Assembly of God church and was very upset to learn that an interview I gave to a freelance writer wound up appearing in Penthouse magazine. At least they didn't ask me to pose nude, too. Who am I? 6. Playing in a skins game with Phil Mickelson, Paul Azinger and Raymond Floyd at Threetops, a par-3 course at the Treetops Resort in Gaylord, Mich., I won $1 million for making a hole-in-one at the 138-yard seventh hole. I also won $80,000 in carryover skins, including $10,000 for closest-to-the-hole. Not bad for a senior. You may remember that I had an ace in the 1987 Skins Game, that annual Thanksgiving-weekend TV turkey; I won $315,000 and three cars that day. Who am I? 7. I had a hole-in-one, too -- a bank shot off Tom Byrum's putter that made me the first golfer to ace a par-4 hole on the PGA Tour. It happened at the 17th during the Phoenix Open. My shot was mentioned in the Supreme Court's decision on Casey Martin. The court disagreed that walking has a significant impact on the outcome of tournaments and said that pure chance, like my shot at the TPC at Scottsdale, might have an even greater bearing. Who am I? 8. I personally autographed 100 Kansas City Royals caps that were put in players' lockers at a Senior tour event in Florida as a way to attract a better field to the TD Waterhouse Championship, a Senior tour event in Kansas City, Mo. I'm in the Baseball Hall of Fame and I'm a pretty good golfer myself ... although I'm careful not to get pine tar on my grips. Who am I? 9. I was 507th in the World Ranking at the start of this year and hadn't had a top-10 finish since 1998, but I won one tournament and finished second in another in Europe, had four top-10s on the PGA Tour, and was hoping to make it back to the Masters, my favorite tournament, after not being invited this year. It looked like I was going to earn an invite by finishing the year in the top 50 of the World Ranking. I climbed as high as 47 before slipping back out of the top 50 a few weeks ago. Well, I can still snare an invitation by making the top 50 four weeks before the Masters or by winning twice on the PGA Tour. Who am I? 10. I'm one of six players who won PGA Tour events last year but still did not qualified for the Masters. No big deal, since I played there as an amateur. I'm just happy to be on the big tour now, considering I'd been sentenced to a year on the Buy.com Tour. However, I took advantage of a sponsor's exemption and won a PGA Tour event in mid-summer, just when I was starting to think maybe I should've stayed in school at Texas. Who am I? 11. Hey, I won an event and I'm not in the Masters yet, either. Guess I'll stay home in Orlando that week and watch video highlights of how I beat Scott Verplank in a playoff. Who am I? 12. I've led my tour in earnings in three of the past four years (the Hooters Tour twice and the Buy.com once), amassed 16 victories and earned a battlefield promotion to the PGA Tour after three Buy.com wins. You've probably never heard of me. Who am I? 13. I'm a blast from the past. I'm also from Australia. My only claim to fame, besides earning my PGA Tour card for next year with a good finish on the Buy.com Tour, was that I led the 1999 British Open at Carnoustie after the first round and became the only first-round leader to miss the cut. Who am I? 14. I am almost 80, I've been hanging around the Old Course at St. Andrews for years. I've seen all the great players come and go and lots of celebrity hacks, too, including Bill Clinton, Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta Jones, Clint Eastwood and Prince Andrew. All those years of service meant nothing. I've been sold out. Some Californians paid $90,000 for me in an Internet auction. Who am I? 15. I enjoyed five victories, including one major championship, and was second on the money list with $1.6 million. Yet hardly anyone noticed because Annika Sorenstam won eight times and shot a 59 and Karrie Webb, who won two fewer times than me, captured two major titles. Who am I? Answers1. Barry Switzer
Scoring15 out of 15: Perfect. You're the next Annika Sorenstam.
Sports Illustrated senior writer Gary Van Sickle writes the weekly Golf Plus: Notebook and is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com. Click here to send him a question or comment.
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