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The Quiz Show -- Part II
Continuing the 2001 golf season recap with another exam
Posted: Tuesday December 18, 2001 12:56 PM
So you passed last week's
Identity Crisis Quiz?
And it was too easy, you say? Fine, try the Virtually Irrelevant Exam, a
multiple choice test that looks back at the year in golf with an eye on the
obscure, meaningless and esoteric happenings that you perhaps didn't notice the
first time around.
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How about this for tweaking the Skins Game: After a golfer wins a skin, he
gets to take one club from the other players' bags out of play for the day? Win
four skins, take four clubs, etc. Strategy abounds early as golfers decide which
club their competitors just cannot live without. And by the time the golfers get
to the late part of the round, shot creativity will be at a premium. Thoughts?
And don't give me some bogus "ruin the tradition of the game" answer.
This would
work!
--Mark Childress, Atlanta
I love the concept, Mark, but you need to fine tune the details. Let's say the
skins carry over to the 14th hole and somebody wins. There go all 14 clubs in
the other guys' bags. Also, I guarantee the first club gone every time is the
putter. Three guys without putters aren't going to beat one guy with a putter
the rest of the round (even though it might be fun to watch). Maybe the Skins
Game ought to be more like strip poker. And how about making the guy with the
worst score play a pink Flying Lady ball on the next hole?
I just saw your
column on playing TPC at Sawgrass and I have to tell you my story about playing
the TPC. I started playing golf seriously last September and I am still looking
forward to the day I break 100. About 10 years ago, my family vacationed at the
Marriott in Jacksonville, Fla. Since we were next door to the famous TPC, we
decided to drive over and hit some balls at the range. None of us were golfers
at the time, we just thought it would be fun. It was about 4:00 p.m. on a
beautiful summer day and we paid for our bag of balls and got our clubs, but
when we got to the range, the sprinklers were on and the range was closed. The
starter looked at us and said that since we had already paid and the range was
closed, we could just go out on the course. So I got to play the TPC at Sawgrass
for $9. It's a pity I will never get a deal like that
again.
--Alan Golpin, Marlboro, N.J.
Yeah, but you can still purchase six postcards of the island green for $9, Alan.
Not including stamps.
Does golf really need an additional age-group professional tour? Obviously,
there are some sponsors out there willing to host two-day events for 40- to
50-year-old PGA players. However, I cannot believe there are many fans feeling a
void because they cannot watch John Cook battle Loren Roberts down the stretch.
Especially when they will fold on Sunday against Tiger, D-Square and Philly
Mick. The true golf fans I know like to watch professionals of any age laying it
all on the line, playing to win. The last thing we need is another tour in which
players compete for a Top 25, which is what these mid-pros (what else should one
call these guys?) are likely to be doing once they notice the unprecedented
depth of their fields. We want to see
greatness.
--Victor Canseco, Greenwich, Conn.
The proposed Tweener Tour, as I call it, Victor, is strictly an attempt to fill
a void. The Golf Channel has no live tournaments to show Monday, Tuesday and
Wednesday, just informercials and reruns. The Tweeners would give the network
something to show with players that viewers have heard of. It's an easy payday
for the golfers, if they can line up sponsors for this tour (I'm not sure it'll
happen in this economy) and cheap programming for TGC. Do we need it? Of course
not. Will it work? Possibly.
Regarding the Pete Dye experience, I had one earlier this year at his new
course at PGA Reserve in Port St. Lucie, Fla., and it wasn't pleasant. From most
of the tees on the par 4's and 5's, you had no idea where to aim your tee shot
because of all of the mounding Dye constructed on the course. Worse yet, when
you attempted to hit your approach shots to the greens, even more mounding
obscured your view of the flag and left you with no idea of where it was on the
green. Have you had any similar experience with a Dye
course?
--R. Smith, West Sand Lake, N.Y.
Has anybody not had a similar experience on a Dye course? Some of his
early works were very playable (notably Long Cove Club and Harbour Town) but
once he started doing island greens and railroad ties, he got a little carried
away for a decade or so. I think a lot of regular golfers see his name as the
designer of a new course and figure, well, this is one track I can skip. If you
like getting your butt kicked on the course -- and apparently plenty do judging
by the number of people who pay big bucks to play TPC at Sawgrass and PGA West
-- Dye is definitely The
Man.
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Part IP
1. To improve efficiency, who was banned from playing golf in 2001?
a. Green Bay Packers
b. Thailand national police
c. Golf writers
d. Ian Baker-Finch
2. Some Cleveland-area courses are selling environmentally friendly tees that
are made from:
a. Corn
b. Tim Couch
c. Banana peels
d. Soylent Green
3. Which Web site is least likely to cheer a Tiger Woods victory?
a. HeHateMe.com
b. AnybodyButTiger.com
c. EldrickGoHome.com
d. LPGA.com
4. Which of the following does senior golfer Bob Charles not take
to feel younger/healthier?
a. Deer velvet
b. Bilberry
c. Bee pollen
d. Garlic
e. Queensland worms
5. A New Zealand man invented a form of golf that uses an oval-shaped ball and
nets. What does he call it?
a. Kiwisticks
b. GolfCross
c. Grugby
d. Leggomyeggo
6. Why did Brenda Corrie Kuehn, 36, enjoy 15 minutes of fame at the U.S.
Women's Open despite shooting 79-84?
a. She was paired with 13-year-old Morgan Pressel
b. She made the first double eagle in tournament history
c. She was eight months pregnant
d. She revealed that Julius Erving is her natural father
7. Harold Stilson, 101, became the oldest golfer to record a hole-in-one
when he aced a 108-yard hole with a 4-iron at Deerfield Country Club in
Deerfield Beach, Fla. What was his secret for living a long life?
a. "A lot of popcorn and beer."
b. "Smoking, whiskey and that other thing."
c. "Never take mulligans."
d. "Don't die."
8. Why did the LPGA tournament at Wilshire Country Club end a day early, on a
Saturday?
a. So its telecast wouldn't go up against the Masters' final round
b. The club had an Easter egg hunt scheduled for Sunday
c. A California blackout
d. To avoid a conflict with the Gilroy Garlic Festival
9. While playing in the Dubai Desert Classic, Tiger Woods visited the stables of
Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, Crown Prince of Dubai. The Sheikh
named a two-year-old colt after Woods. What is its name?
a. Osama bin Tiger
b. Mohammed bin Eldrick
c. Tiger Bake and Sheikh
d. Dubai Tiger
10. The Earlston Golf Club in Scotland hasn't had its own course since before
World War II. Where did it buy land to develop a new course, whose membership
will be restricted to those who are living or have lived in Earlston?
a. Death Valley
b. Isle of Skye
c. On a Lithuanian oil tanker
d. The Moon
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11. A 15-year-old spectator was kicked out of the Phoenix Open for throwing what
at Tiger Woods?
a. Corey Pavin
b. Titleist cap
c. An orange
d. Dog poop
12. Who was the first male ever to appear on the cover of Golf For Women
(the October issue)?
a. Earl Woods
b. Bill Murray
c. Haley Joel Osment
d. Speedskater Dan Jansen
13. Andrew Giuliani, son of New York City mayor Rudy Giuliani,
played with Tiger Woods in the Buick Classic's pro-am at Westchester Country
Club. Name another member of the pro-am fivesome (hint: He birdied a par-3,
beating Woods' score on that hole).
a. Matt Lauer
b. Bryant Gumbel
c. Jack Ford
d. Jack Welch
14. Who scored a meeting with the Dalai Lama and boldly asked
the Tibetan Buddhist leader if he'd ever seen Caddyshack?
a. Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura
b. Vijay Singh
c. MTV's Carson Daly
d. Former President Bill Clinton
15. Winning three Buy.com events earned players a battlefield promotion to the
PGA Tour, but after Sept. 11 the name of that promotion was changed to what?
a. Ernie
b. Tour ticket
c. Performance promotion
d. First-class upgrade
Multiple choice answers: 1-b. 2-a. 3-b. 4-e. 5-b. 6-c. 7-a. 8-b. 9-d. 10-d.
11-c. 12-d. 13-c. 14-a. 15-c.
PART II
Match each of the following quotes about Casey Martin and his lawsuit
with who said it:
1. "If I could use a cart, I still might be able to play the regular
tour."
2. "There's a clock ticking and who knows how long until it stops."
3. "The fact that pro golf is a business doesn't mean the ADA applies here
any more than it would to a blind man wanting to drive in a NASCAR race."
4. "I don't see guys in the NFL who have knee injuries getting
mopeds."
5. "The PGA Tour should be about numbers, not how you get from Point A to
Point B."
6. "All sports rules are silly, aren't they?"
7. "The PGA stance could send the wrong message to millions of Americans
with disabilities."
8. "There is no place in this game for carts."
The
speakers:
A. Arnold Palmer
B. Ken Venturi
C. Brad Faxon
D. Iowa senator Tom
Harkin
E. Senior golfer Charlie Owens
F. CNN legal observer Roger Cossack
G. Casey's dad King Martin
H. Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia
The match answers: 1-A. 2-G. 3-F. 4-C. 5-E. 6-H. 7-D. 8-B.
Scoring
22-23 correct: Jim Rockford
20-21: Columbo
18-19: Joe Mannix
16-17: Harry
O.
14-15: Banacek
11-13: Barnaby Jones
6-10: McCloud
3-5: Honey West
0-2: Scooby & Shaggy
Sports Illustrated senior writer Gary Van Sickle writes the weekly Golf Plus:
Notebook and is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com. Click
here to send him a question or comment.
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