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Confessions of a soccer fan
Updated: Saturday July 14, 2001 9:25 PM
This month's survey | Quote of the month EUGENE, Ore. -- I know, I know, this dateline may not bode well for a soccer column (I'm on the college football beat this week), but we'll have to make do with what we can. And what most of you seem to want to know is my reaction to Frank Deford's "soccer is un-American" piece in SI not long ago. Truth be told, I grew up as a Deford acolyte (OK, a Deford worshiper), and he was kind enough to invite me to his Connecticut home in 1994 when I wanted to interview him for a college assignment. The project happened to be about soccer, and we discussed his views on the differences between soccer culture in Latin America and baseball culture in the United States. I don't remember everything he said, but it was basically the same argument that appeared in his recent column. Some of it made sense and some didn't, but as a soccer fan I've learned not to take things too personally. A lot of it, like his column, was tongue-in-cheek, and ultimately there was little that I hadn't heard before. For me, it comes down to this: I'm an American. I'm a sports fan. And I like soccer. Just so you know, several guys at Sports Illustrated like soccer. Six of us rode in a van to Foxboro last year for the World Cup qually vs. Barbados, and one editor has taken his family to Barbados and Jamaica for qualifiers since then. Do I think SI should cover soccer more often? Of course. My disappointment with Deford's article lies not so much in its content as in the devotion of two pages that could have been used to cover the sport in the way I think it deserves. But let's be realistic. Being an American soccer fan is like being the fat kid in the first grade. We may never lose the baby fat. Then again, we might. Either way, we'll still like the sport. So while I could respond to the old argument about why Americans will never fall for the beautiful game, I thought it would be more fun to "invite" you over to my place last Saturday and show you ... Why I, American sports fan, like MLS10:30 a.m.: Hop on to Bigsoccer.com, check out links to MLS newspaper articles all over the country. Consume three cups of coffee. 2:45 p.m. (Burn-Crew): With Dallas up 2-1, Columbus forward Jeff Cunningham hits an offensive lob worthy of Andre Agassi. Teammate Edson Buddle nods in the equalizer, the game's fourth goal in 15 minutes. We're on our way to an electric 2-2 tie. (Not an oxymoron, I might add.) 2:50 p.m.: ESPN play-by-play guy Rob Stone makes a Tesla reference. Classic. Click. (Crack open a beer.) 3:30 p.m.: Get an e-mail from a D.C. United player voting teammate Marco Etcheverry the biggest bust in MLS this year. Ouch. (Soccer players, I should note, are the straightest shooters in sports.) Click. 4:45 p.m. (Fire-Mutiny): Chicago's Eric Wynalda charges past the LET'S GO FIRE banner (in Raymond James Stadium?!?), jukes a defender and sends a screamer past Adin Brown. Eric Wynalda? Eric Wynalda! Click. 5:15 p.m. (MetroStars-Fusion): Metro goalkeeper Tim Howard stones Diego Serna, saving a sure goal with an out-of-his-head left-footed kick save. Memo to Frank Deford: "Failure" can be breathtaking after all. The MetroStars go on to pull a 3-0 stunner. 5:25 p.m.: Camera shows yellow-clad Ecuadorian fans in Orange Bowl, which reminds me to plug a fabulous story by the Miami Herald's Linda Robertson about Ecuador coach Hernán Darío Gómez. (And I'm not doing this just because I used to live in Linda's backyard apartment a few years ago.) Click. (Get burgers off grill.) 5:30 p.m. (Galaxy-United): Insight-impaired D.C. color commentator Clint Peay isn't working tonight. (Rejoice! And while we're on that subject, when can we get D.C. resident Garth Lagerwey in the chair instead?) 5:40 p.m.: Great atmosphere. There's toilet paper everywhere, the stands are swaying, and thousands of fans are turning RFK Stadium into a madhouse. If you look really closely, in fact, you might even see a few folks cheering for D.C. United. L.A. wins 3-0. Click. (Get another beer.) 5:52 p.m. (Fire-Mutiny): Wynalda scores again -- off the prettiest ball you'll ever see, courtesy of Hristo Stoitchkov. The announcer, bless him, pronounces Stoitchkov's first name right. (It's CRIST-o, everybody.) Fire wins 3-2. Click. 5:57 p.m. (Wizards-Revolution): Useless fact: Revs winger William Sunsing is the fourth-best corn-rowed player I've seen today. (The others, in order: the Metros' Daniel Hernandez, the Fire's DaMarcus Beasley, and the Burn's Edward Johnson.) 6:02 p.m.: For the first time in my life, I see a non-free-kick-taking, non-Scorpion-kicking, actually decent South American goalkeeper. Welcome to the Revs, Gato Fernandez. You'll still lose 2-1 (albeit through no fault of your own). Click. (Open new bag of Doritos.) 7:00 p.m.: Eagerly switch channel in search of Earthquakes-Rapids broadcast. Learn that game isn't being televised. Curse loudly. 8:06 p.m.: Shamelessly check Internet for Earthquakes-Rapids live score. New-look Rapids lead 2-0, will win 3-1. And that's it, a day in the life of an MLS admirer. Sure, the league might not be Serie A, and the stadiums might not be overflowing, but you know what? I wouldn't have traded my Saturday afternoon for anything. (Except, perhaps, for covering those games for a certain weekly publication. Hint, hint ...) This month's survey: Florida, state of extremesFor our latest question, 15 MLS players responded to: Who is your choice for MLS MVP at this point of the season? Who's the biggest bust? Surprise: the Fusion (11-2-3) and the Mutiny (3-13-1) made the biggest contributions to the list. MLS MVP Diego Serna (Fusion) .... 4.5
Others receiving votes: Joe Cannon (Earthquakes), Ray Hudson (Fusion coach), Preki (Fusion), Nick Rimando (Fusion). BIGGEST BUST Mamadou Diallo (Mutiny) .... 3.5
Others receiving votes: Chris Albright (D.C. United), Nick Garcia (Wizards), Kansas City Wizards, MetroStars, Brian McBride (Crew), Hristo Stoitchkov (Fire). Garth Lagerwey Quote of the MonthWe'll always leave the light on for you, G-Man: MLS MVP (Most Lachrymose Selection of a Mostly Vapid Player): Jovan Kirovski, U.S. National Team. "This guy must be the greatest practice player since Ty Keough interviewed for a TV job. I want his agent more than Congressman Condit wants the landfill-sniffing dogs to end his misery. Lachrymose=causing tears. And yes, I looked it up. That is why they pay me the big bucks." Biggest Bust: Bruce Arena. "Bruce's body is a lot like mine, a little thick front to back. Given the hegemony over U.S. Soccer of this colossus, he will eventually bestride the entrance to some soccer port clad in bronze. The sculptor charged with making the Arena bust may need as much time to fulfill his duties as the court system took to reach our antitrust case ruling." And finally ...In a nod to my compadre Jon Wertheim and his tennis mailbag, I present to you our own pair of long-lost siblings: Tiffeny Milbrett and Kirsten Dunst.
Eerie, huh? See you next month. Sports Illustrated senior writer Grant Wahl covers soccer for the magazine
and files Inside U.S. soccer each month. To send him a question or comment click here.
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