In fact, the funniest scene I witnessed all year was the look on Jason Gardner's face when he arrived and was forced to endure 15 minutes of Friends before I took him and fellow 'Cats seniors Walton and Rick Anderson out to dinner at the Sushi-Hamma in Tucson last month.

"How can you watch that show? It's terrible," Gardner finally said (sounding eerily like Bill Walton) as we piled into the 'Bag's rental car.

"What? Friends?" came Luke's reply. "C'mon, J -- it's a funny show."

(Credit Gardner with realizing Friends jumped the shark a while ago. You're my guy, Luke, but facts are facts.)

And yet there's an actual lesson we can take from Gardner's patience as it applies to team dynamics for the No. 1 Wildcats:

Whatever you do together, you do it as a team, whether it's watching the last 15 minutes of Friends or going to the movies or dining at Sushi-Hamma when you don't even like sushi (another Gardner sacrifice). "It carries over to the floor," Gardner says. "The more we're around each other off the court, the less we have people bitching about playing time or doing all the side things that cause you to lose games."

And that's important when you're the nation's deepest team, an 11-strong crew that will be fighting for minutes and touches. With senior leaders like Gardner, Walton and Anderson, the 'Bag is adamant on this point: Dissension will not be a problem in Tucson.

As for Collison's DVD collection, well, what can I say? The guy owns 111 DVDs, and he apparently knows the way to a female's heart. When the 'Bag Lady heard Collison had When Harry Met Sally, he suddenly became her favorite player.

In any case, to answer your multitude of "How do you think BLANK will do?" questions, we present to you our preseason Top 25 (not to be confused, of course, with the rankings in Sports Illustrated's upcoming college hoops preview issue):

1. Arizona. In a blatant bribe attempt, the Fun Bunch (Walton, Gardner and Anderson) told the waitress at Sushi-Hamma it was the 'Bag's birthday, setting off an embarrassing siren- and song-filled fiesta. Well, guys, it worked: You're No. 1. 'Zona is loaded thanks to its three seniors, five sophs (led by Channing Frye and Salim Stoudamire) and instant-impact frosh in highflying Hassan Adams and Andre Iguodala. ("You're gonna see them a lot on SportsCenter," Walton said.) It says here the breakout 'Cat will be Frye, who bulked up huge over the summer.

2. Kansas. Jayhawks boss Roy Williams worked awfully hard to sell the 'Bag on the notion that his team is perhaps the only one in the Big 12 that didn't improve from a year ago. Hogwash. The Jayhawks aren't deep, but they have the nation's best starting five and two seniors (Collison and Kirk Hinrich) who could be first-team All-Americas. If Collison can stay out of foul trouble and merciless bruiser Wayne Simien can stay healthy, this depth thing won't be a problem.

3. Oklahoma. Kelvin Sampson's teams never win any style contests, but their M.O. is brutally effective. Though the loss of Aaron McGhee will hurt inside scoring, Ebi Ere and Hollis Price (who still looks like he's 12 years old) should make up for it. Like Qantas, underrated PG Quannas White never crashes, and make sure to keep an eye on freshman forward Kevin Bookout, a whipsmart athletic demon who already has earned a starting job.

4. Florida. How come nobody else has the Gators this high? I'm more sold than ever on seniors, and Brett Nelson and Matt Bonner have slipped under the radar of too many folks this year. James White (once healthy) should make big strides, and Danish import Christian Drejer has NBA folks drooling. Look for a marquee Preseason NIT final between the Gators and Kansas to serve as an early-season bellwether.

5. Duke. Chris Duhon is liberated by the exit of Jason Williams. There's just enough experience here (in Duhon and Dahntay Jones) for Coach K's pups to have designs on a national title this season in what may be the weakest ACC in years.

6. Texas. Did we mention T.J. Ford's favorite player is Howard Eisley? (The 'Bag was left speechless upon learning this information.) Ford lopped off his braids (bummer) but remains among the nation's most dynamic point guards. With everyone else back from last year's Sweet 16 bunch, the 'Horns have the chops to be the Lone Star State's first Final Four team since Houston in 1984.

7. Xavier. The 'Bag ended up looking foolish last year when we put a plucky A-10 team (St. Joe's) in our top 10. Memo to David West and Romain Sato: Don't make us feel that way again. The best bet for a mid-major in the Final Four (if you consider the X to be a mid-major).

8. Pittsburgh. Is it possible that the Big East is finally on the rebound? For the love of Dave Gavitt and Jerome Lane, the Panthers have the 'Bag excited about the conference for the first time since the days of six fouls. With a proven young coach (Ben Howland), a battle-tested leader (Brandin Knight) and a sweet new arena, it's a good time to be a Panther.

9. Alabama. Sophomore PG Mo Williams is a year wiser, and reigning SEC Player of the Year Erwin Dudley has been 10 times the college player that Gerald Wallace and Rod Grizzard were. We'll see what 'Bama has to offer when Mark Gottfried's team meets Oklahoma in New York next week.

10. Michigan State. Good god, Al Anagonye is still in college? He's been around since when -- 1981? Like Coach K, Tom Izzo has absorbed all sorts of attrition yet somehow still finds a way to put a dangerous team on the floor. Guard Chris Hill was one of the 'Bag's favorite freshmen last year, and he gets the keys now that Marcus Taylor is gone.

11. Tulsa. You laugh? With five seniors (headed by likely WAC Player of the Year Kevin Johnson) the Golden Hurricane will prove just how important experience is in today's college racket. Only Duke has won more games than these guys have over the past three years. Now if they could just beat nemesis Hawaii (after losing three times to the Warriors last year).

12. Oregon. The 'Bag will dearly miss the Great Dane, 7'2" Chris Christoffersen, who was one of our favorite players last year. But that only means the Ducks' transition game will move even faster with Lukes Jackson and Ridnour -- both first-team All-Hobbit -- manning the break.

13. Connecticut. The Big East's other top team shouldn't have been able to sneak up on folks so much last year. Don't look for it to happen again, now that we've seen the scoring pop of Ben Gordon and the inside force that is Emeka Okafor.

14. Wyoming. Not a misprint. Coach Steve (Buscemi) McClain and the Cowboys broke through by upsetting Gonzaga in the tourney, and now his Pokes are ready to take the next step behind the three-headed monster of Marcus Bailey, Uche Nsonwu-Amadi and Jason Straight.

SEPARATED AT BIRTH? McClain Buscemi

15. Marquette. Never mind all the big-name coaches in Conference USA. If the 'Bag were an AD in search of a new bench boss, we'd pick Tom Crean before any of those other guys. Yes, the Eagles lost Cordell Henry, but star Dwyane Wade is back in Milwaukee for another year, which should pique the interest of all those Marquette sportswriting alums. (This means you, Steve Rushin and Charlie Pierce.)

16. Gonzaga. They just keep reloading in Spokane, where Blake Stepp, Zach Gourde and Cory Violette will have to share the scoring load despite lacking a creator after the graduation of Dan Dickau. FWIW: If they ever hold a BASS Masters tournament for coaches, Mark Few would win hands down.

17. Georgia. When Damien Wilkins was struggling at N.C. State, his dad, Gerald, saw fit to rip the Wolfpack coaching staff in the Atlanta papers. Now that Young Wilkins has transferred to Athens, will Pops put a sock in it? Stay tuned. In the meantime, despite all sorts of off-the-court trouble, the Dawgs have somehow held onto a raft of talent (led by Jarvis Hayes) that should keep them in the SEC East title hunt.

18. Western Kentucky. Last year the Hilltoppers opened by knocking off Kentucky in Rupp. This year? Game 1 takes them to the McKale Center in Tucson. Lightning won't strike twice, but when late-blooming center Chris Marcus returns from injury, the sharp-shooting 'Toppers will be a force.

19. Mississippi State. Rick Stansbury's Bulldogs actually set up a semi-tough schedule this year, lining up Louisiana-Lafayette, Xavier and Oklahoma in an attempt to gain some respect before the SEC season. They'll get it, too, thanks to the return of low-block banger Mario Austin.

20. Kentucky. Hmmm ... the 'Cats appear to be using a three-guard lineup with juco recruit Antwain Barbour, Gerald Fitch and Keith Bogans, at least until Cliff Hawkins returns. Whether it works will depend on Bogans' ability to block out distractions and act as if last year's mysterious nosedive never happened. Recruiting problems aside, Tubby Smith is still an amazing coach, which is why I see UK making something of this season after all.

21. Missouri. This is how Kareem Rush introduced me to Rickey Paulding last year: "You'll be here next year writing about him." Maybe so, maybe so. It's not just that Paulding has mad hops, but he also showed late last season that he's a reliable scorer. Arthur Johnson is an underrated big man, and boss Quin Snyder has developed a real knack for getting his team ready when it counts in March.

22. Maryland. If Chris Wilcox had stayed, the Terps would have been top 5. But he didn't, and now they're left searching for a star among Drew Nicholas, Steve Blake, Ryan Randle and Tahj Holden. All four are seniors, though, and in this space that counts for a ton.

23. Creighton. All five starters are back, including senior all-everything Kyle Korver, for a program that has made the NCAAs four years straight and figures to win the Missouri Valley again. How many times do you have to see these guys measure up before you put them in your Top 25?

24. Louisville. It's time for Rick Pitino to have a good season, and you get the sense that in Year 2 he's much more comfortable with his troops. (None more so than the prolific Reece Gaines.) If Marvin Stone becomes a force second semester, look out.

25. Virginia. Can Travis Watson carry the 'Hoos? The 'Bag thinks so -- at least they'll go far enough to make the NCAAs this time around after last year's collapse.

Vote WATN today!

Over the past few seasons the 'Bag has taken great pleasure in tracking down such former college hoops luminaries as Uwe Blab, Aminu Timberlake, Ken (Mouse) McFadden, Travis Bice, Barry Goheen, Antoine (The Judge) Joubert, Richie (The Fixer) Perry, Geert Hammink and Dana Kirk. But we want to take the next step, and that involves you, the reader. Any suggestions for future WATN subjects? Send them here.

In the meantime, we'll ask: Where in the world is Paul Mokeski? (Correct and/or most creative answers will be published.)

Before we get to some questions (believe me, I'll answer many more in future editions), some 'Bag requests: Keep 'em coming, and keep 'em funny/random/creative. That's the only way this is going to work.

Onward ...

I look at the recruiting patterns at Syracuse and I can't help but wonder if the Orange are getting the best players a successful program can get. Granted, under Jim Boeheim SU has produced a number of NBA-caliber players. But they always seem to underachieve while in college (in fact, Boeheim seems to have his greatest amount of success in March with teams that have lower expectations to start the season). Now there is already talk that Carmelo Anthony, the highest-profile recruit since Billy Owens, will be a one-and-done, and the season has not even started. Given its recent struggles (both on and off the court), don't you think it would be in Syracuse's best interest to recruit less-sought-after players who are going to stick around, develop and be productive student-athletes?
—B.J., Syracuse, N.Y.

Good points all, B.J. I'm so down on one-and-done guys these days, it's not even funny. Guess I learned from everyone picking Memphis in their preseason Top 25s last year. I won't make that mistake again, which is why you don't see any teams with likely one-and-done guys in my Top 25 (and why you will see plenty of teams with experience like Tulsa, Western Kentucky, Wyoming and Creighton). This is all a way of explaining why the 'Cuse is nowhere to be found in my rankings, even though I was impressed by what I saw from Anthony last year. (At least I was when I saw his memorable duel with LeBron James in Trenton, N.J.)

One of my colleagues at SI recently broke down what has happened to all the schools with one-and-done players over the last seven years, noting how the team performs in the two years after that player is gone. It's not a pretty picture, but the lesson is simple: In the long term, you're better off not getting these players than you would be if you you would be getting them.

Three experimental rules are in effect in the preseason this year. The international (20-foot-6) 3-point line and the 16-foot-wide lane are easy enough to understand, but what does "relocating the block on each side of the lane" mean? Is this just a fancy way of saying the players lined up closest to the baseline on a free throw cannot be inside the 12-inch-wide block?
—Don Del Grande, Fairfield, Calif.

That's it. This should keep players from leaning right up against each other while the free throw is being shot.

Is Matt Doherty on the hot seat this year? With the kind of talent he's had the last couple of years, I can't imagine that North Carolina boosters would be willing to put up with very many more losses.
—Ryan Sandlin, Topeka, Kan.

I'd be very surprised to see Doherty lose his job this year, unless the Heels again somehow manage not to win 10 games. Remember, this guy was the national coach of the year 19 months ago. I've also got a bone to pick (when do I not?) with my pal Seth Davis: Contrary to the Sethster's semirational ramblings, Roy Williams will not be leaving for Carolina were Doherty to lose his job. No, Williams does not get along famously with new Kansas AD Al Bohl. But Bohl would be run out on a rail if Williams left town. Besides, do you think 1) UNC would even offer Williams the job after the embarrassment it suffered the last time he turned it down, or 2) Williams would take such a job to replace his own protégé?

Not gonna happen, Seth. Na ... ga ... happen.

See you next week.

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