Slick Rick

Neuheisel's personality resembles that of a former President

It's a good bet that most college football head coaches are Republicans, being that the bulk of them are wealthy, white and great believers in the bootstrap theory of life -- especially if those bootstraps cover feet that can run a 4.5 40. It's also a good bet that Rick Neuheisel, who grew up in Goldwater country (Arizona) and went to college in Reagan territory (UCLA), is a GOPer from way back. It may pain Neuheisel when he learns why the mere mention of his name causes so many college football people in Colorado and in the Pac-10 Conference to spew invective.

It's because Rick Neuheisel is his sport's Bill Clinton.

Both men rose to the top of their respective professions at relatively young ages. Neuheisel became head coach of Colorado at age 33; Clinton was 46 years old when he was sworn in as President of the United States.

Both men are smarter than their opponents. Much smarter. Neuheisel went to law school and passed the bar in Arizona and Washington, D.C. As a rule, football coaches don't pass the bar, especially if there's table dancing inside. Clinton was a Rhodes Scholar and became the policy wonk's policy wonk.

Both men came into office and attempted to change the dynamic of how their jobs were performed. Neuheisel took his team on tubing trips and played the guitar on his call-in show. Clinton tried to tackle universal health care. The results revealed a certain inner conviction, if not stubbornness. Neuheisel, barbecued for his tactics when his players at Colorado began playing undisciplined football, now won't talk about his infamous field trips. Clinton lived to regret his tactics but not the goal.

These men have never entered a room they couldn't charm. That personal magnetism, an integral part of their success, is one of the reasons that their enemies take so many shots their way.

It's not for nothing that both men share a derogatory nickname. Slick Rick, meet Slick Willie. Clinton believed there was no problem too knotty for his mind and his tongue. It turned out there was one, and that's as much as anyone cares to remember about the impeachment disaster of 1998-'99. When Clinton's opponents smelled his blood, they attacked him. They attack him still.

That brings us to the recent announcement by the University of Colorado that it had received a letter of inquiry from the NCAA for 51 secondary rules violations, 49 of which the NCAA says occurred during Neuheisel's tenure from 1996-'98 before his abrupt departure for Washington in January 1999. Secondary is the NCAA's term for minor violations. It's also a more formal term for the more accurate phrase "nickel-and-dime." Some violations revolve around the use of a hotel game room for recruiting weekends at a cost of $3 over the NCAA limit. Others involve the excessive reimbursement for mileage to recruits of amounts ranging from $3.20 to nearly -- better grab your chair here -- $35.76. Meanwhile, the Southeastern Conference has coaches and boosters spraying cash through the mail to prospects and their advisors.

Neuheisel is also accused of wriggling through what he perceived to be a loophole in the NCAA rules. On days that he wasn't allowed to contact a recruit, Neuheisel would speak to a high school coach about said player while the latter was within earshot. That is clearly against the spirit of the rule, and may even be against the letter. Is contact really contact when the recruiter and the recruit never speak? I suppose that depends upon what your definition of "is" is.

The charges may appear to be all nickel-and-dime ones, especially after the university devoted two years to digging them up. But because of the number of secondary violations, the NCAA tacked on the dreaded charge of "lack of institutional control." In its public response, Colorado went out of its way to say that "the CU football program has undergone signficant changes guided by Coach Gary Barnett. The changes made by Coach Barnett involved both recruiting and internal monitoring practices." In other words, it was that jerk Neuheisel.

After three seasons in the Pac-10, Neuheisel has won a Rose Bowl (2001) and nearly three out of every four games he has coached. He has been busted for a minor recruiting violation and he has been tsked-tsked by the conference office for negative recruiting. Like Clinton, he is trafficking in the gray areas and leaving his rivals shaking their fists with rage. That's because, like Clinton, Neuheisel keeps finding ways to win. The NCAA will continue its investigation and Neuheisel may even get his hand slapped again. But he ain't going anywhere, folks. Unlike Clinton, Neuheisel may serve longer than eight seasons.

Sports Illustrated senior writer Ivan Maisel covers college football for the magazine and is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com.

 

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