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All-Star headache Surplus of talent out West makes it tough to pick the squadPosted: Wednesday January 22, 2003 1:09 PM
After analyzing the most deserving selections for the All-Star game in Atlanta on Feb. 9, I've come to the following conclusion: The game should be West I vs. West II. Well, I'm being a little facetious, but not entirely. While it was fairly easy to boil down the Eastern Conference picks to 12 -- and that's including the ceremonial (or perhaps it isn't) inclusion of Michael Jordan -- as I write this first paragraph I still haven't settled on the 12 roster spots for the West, so fierce is the competition. Sometimes you have to write it out so you can think it out. I will probably be in disagreement with the fan vote (due out Thursday), which determines the 10 starters. But I'm not going to carp about it -- that ship sailed long ago. The NBA pooh-bahs want the people who pay for the seats to pick the starters, so let them do it, even if the leading vote-getter turns out to be Vince Carter, who is injured and who would be undeserving of such acclamation even if he were not. The other likely mistakes will have Allen Iverson starting ahead of Jason Kidd at guard and Yao Ming starting ahead of Shaquille O'Neal at center. Anyway, here's how I see the rosters. (Well, here's how I half-see them; I'm still working out the West.)
RESERVES: G -- Iverson, Philadelphia; Ron Artest, Indiana; Ricky Davis, Cleveland; Jordan, Washington; C -- Absolutely no one. (And remember that my starting center, Wallace, is more of a power forward than a pivotman.); F -- Jalen Rose, Chicago; Jamal Mashburn, New Orleans With regard to the position designations of Jordan, Artest and Rose, who knows? They're all swingmen. Jordan is listed as a guard on the ballot. Ricky Davis makes it -- and I'm glad he does -- because of injuries to Boston's Antoine Walker and the nagging back ailment of New Orleans' Baron Davis. I don't want to hear anything about either of the two candidates on the host Atlanta Hawks, Glenn Robinson and Shareef Abdur-Rahim. Their stats are OK, but their team is horrible, and it's not as if the "avid" fan base that half-fills moribund Philips Arena deserves a bone. Sam Cassell has probably done as much as Ray Allen for the underachieving Bucks, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over not including him. (I will lose sleep over the West, however.) STARTERS: G -- Kobe Bryant, L.A. Lakers; Steve Francis, Houston; RESERVES: G -- Gary Payton, Seattle; Stephon Marbury, Phoenix; John Stockton, Utah; C -- O'Neal, Lakers; David Robinson, San Antonio; F -- Chris Webber, Sacramento; Elton Brand, L.A. Clippers You got any problems with that roster? Of course, you do. Hell, I've got problems with it and I worked it out. Let me try to rationalize the choices with a little internal dialogue:
Q A: Because if he wasn't put at center, I'd have Nowitzki in the pivot. All three of those frontcourtmen, whatever position you assign them, have to make the starting team. Q: What about Shaq, you moron? A: Clearly, he's the best center in the league. No, he's the best center in the universe. But I'm bringing him off the bench because he missed the first 12 games of the season. Q: I don't even see Yao, the fans' choice to start, on your bench. Are you a complete ignoramus? A: Not complete. I love Yao's game (and said so in a glowing story that appears in this week's Sports Illustrated), but there simply is no room for a guy averaging 12.8 points and eight rebounds per game on a team based strictly on merit. Q: I don't see Steve Nash on the squad, imbecile. He's only the sparkplug of the league's best team. A: No, but you do see three other point guards, and I can make a case for each of them. Payton is the most underrated player of the decade and Seattle might be in last place without him. Marbury has led a renaissance in the land of the Suns, and it was hard leaving off his teammates, Shawn Marion and rookie Amare Stoudemire. As for Stockton, well, we have to give an All-Star goodbye to the man, even if he's not much for goodbyes. Steve Nash, I definitely owe you one. Q: Well, Mr. Inconsistent, you're not saying goodbye to Karl Malone, Stockton's teammate. A: I don't think he's retiring. Q: I assume that's why David Robinson, who's averaging fewer than 10 points a game, is on your team, you sappy sentimentalist. A: I love sappy and sentimental. I saw Old Yeller 10 times. (What, you never heard of Old Yeller?) Q: Returning to Utah for a minute, what about Matt Harpring, the early favorite for Most Improved Player. Have you had your head examined recently? A: These insults are getting old. Anybody can second-guess. Harpring doesn't make it because ... he doesn't make it. Peja Stojakovic didn't make it either and ... Q: I was going to ask you about that, half-wit. The Kings are only the ... A: I'll endure the personal attacks, but don't start interrupting me. This isn't Hardball and you're not Chris Matthews. No, Peja didn't make the team and neither did Bobby Jackson or Mike Bibby. Jackson, who's a super-sub on Sacramento, has an injured thumb, and Bibby missed too many games (28) with his fractured foot. Peja? I left him off because I look at Webber's numbers (23 points, 10.4 rebounds, 5.2 assists) and he's got to be the guy. Q: Well, you've pretty much botched this up, loser. We didn't even discuss the exinclusion of Rasheed Wallace and Bonzi Wells. A: No, and we're not going to. Don't ever ask me to defend a member of the Portland Trail Blazers. This task wasn't easy, but I'm completely satisfied with ... No, wait a minute. Hold everything. Twenty-second timeout. I'm making a switch. I'm not sure Stockton is retiring and he's the kind of guy who would hate to be a symbolic pick. So ... official Western reserve change: Steve Nash in place of John Stockton. There, now I'm satisfied. I think. Sports Illustrated senior writer Jack McCallum covers the NBA for the magazine and is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com. Click here to send a question to his Mailbag. To read Jack's feature story on Yao Ming, pick up the Jan. 27 issue of Sports Illustrated.
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