Users strike back

Here are 25 more things that baseball needs to fix

You know, there's nothing wrong with baseball that a few dozen lawyers and a few million dollars can't change.

That's not to say, of course, that there's nothing wrong with baseball. In addition to all that financial mess that all those lawyers will be messing with in the next few days/weeks/months/lifetimes, there are plenty of other problems that need to be fixed with the once great old game. I listed 25 of them a couple of weeks ago.

Hundreds and hundreds of you chipped in with way more than that. In the interest of semi-brevity, though, we'll stick to the following complaints -- each put forth by at least a few users -- and call them 25 More Things That Baseball Needs to Fix.

Pull up your pants: "The pants over the cleats thing that Barry Bonds and Gary Sheffield have taken to a completely absurd level," writes Jeff Jones. "Other sports have dress codes. How did this get by? Bonds looks like a kid in Dr. Denton pajamas the way he wears the uniform."

Stay in the #@*# box: "Why must each batter step out of the batter's box before every pitch?" asks Todd Kauffmann and many, many others. "Did their batting gloves somehow became looser within the last five seconds?"

Bring in da noise: "Does MLB really believe that in order to hold our interest in the game that we have to be constantly stimulated between and even during innings with musical selections, cartoon races (fans cheering as if the outcome is not already predetermined -- unbelievable!), idiotic and largely unfunny team mascots hopping all over the place, etc.?" asks Bill Teutsch. "Can't they turn down the volume enough on all that crap so that my son and I can just talk to each other about the game on the field?"

Great expectorations: Says Chuck Albrecht, who gets a nod for actually including his city with his e-mail (it's Bryan, Texas): "I don't see Tiger unloading eight balls of foam before striking a putt. Does Shaq lubricate the lane before launching that 50-50 ball from the line? Pete Sampras doesn't water the lawn while at Wimbledon."

The DH: Yeah, everyone pointed this out. Either that or the fan base of the National League is just a lot more computer savvy.

Body armor: "Is it me," says Walter C. Rhinehart, "or did the goalie for the Bruins step onto the field for BP? Good grief -- stand in there and take it like a … like a … like … well, just take it, ya big baby."

Don't call home: "These stupid and obnoxious fans with cell phones who wave to their other stupid and obnoxious friends on a telecast," writes T.P. "The good thing is that they're usually gone by the seventh inning."

CNNSI.com Park: "Corporate sponsorship of stadium names," points out Jason Long of Dayton, Ohio. "I know this isn't just baseball, but really, how long do we have to wait until we're watching the Yanks and Red Sox at Tampax Park? Gimme a break."

Getting loose: "In between innings, fielders play catch and toss grounders to one another, the pitcher throws several warm-up tosses, the catcher practices his throw to second and everybody pretty much wastes time waiting for the TV commercials to finish. During an inning, batters step out of the box between each pitch and take practice swings constantly. And if we get a relief pitcher, this guy who has been throwing for hours in the bullpen now comes in and -- you guessed it -- throws a few warm-up pitches," says John Comley and -- you guessed it -- he's just warming up. "I can just see everybody on an NBA court patiently waiting while Shaq practices a few free throws before taking one that 'counts.' Or how about two NFL teams patiently waiting for a kicker to try a few before he actually lines up a field goal attempt? Come on, baseball -- quit messing around and play ball!"

Whiny-ass sports journalists: A lot of you were all over this one. I'm not sure I get it.

I am the greatest: "Players routinely failing to pick up the extra base they could have had after a hit by posing to admire their work," says Jesse Brennan of New York City. "I swear I've seen at least six 390-foot singles this year."

Here, have a towel: Not everyone loves bobbleheads. "After you spend $35 for the ticket, $6.50 for the hotdog and $7 for the beer, and you see your team get blown away by one of those bought teams," says Mike Joyner, "you get to take home a 50-cent Frisbee with the team logo."

Umpires all full of themselves: "Basically, the game is up to the umps. You can't glare at them; they'll screw you next time up. You can't say anything to them. You certainly can't argue with them," says Rob Goldman. "Sheesh. The catcher can't comment or the ump may screw his team when it gets up to bat."

Musical mush: Especially, note many users, the introductory songs for each batter. "If I ever hear Who Let the Dogs Out at Wrigley Field," warns Matt Walker of Ann Arbor, Mich., "I quit."

Postgame interviews: "Like the players ever say anything interesting, or meaningful, or insightful?" asks Paul Kaye. "I hope to never have to listen or watch a postgame interview again, unless it goes like this: Interviewer: 'So, how do you feel about the loss today?' Player: 'Well, bad. We didn't come together as a team. We need to work at it 100 percent all the time. I killed Ron and Nicole. If we don't take things one day at a time, we'll never be the team that I know we can be.'"

You will cheer: "I know how baseball is played and I know when to cheer -- I don't need to be told," says Robert Bailey III. "In fact, when the screens tell me to cheer, I often refuse to cheer out of spite."

The shifting strike zone: "Umpires with strike zones the size of my freaking wallet?" says Steve Gardner. "Get 'em outta here!"

Hustle-less-ness: "On routine grounders the players just make a token effort running to first," wails John Ulaszek. "Also, dropped third strikes. The players don't even look back on strike three but just walk back to the dugout!"

Big foam digits: "Do fans of the Brewers, Royals, Devil Rays, etc.," asks Joey Sprinkle of Emporia, Kan., "really need those Styrofoam 'We're No. 1' fingers?"

Here, kid, have a ball: "All well and good, except look who's getting these balls -- the kids in the $150 seats with no emotional attachment to the game, who look at the ball and say, 'Gee, can I sell this?'" writes Eddie Klein. " What about the kids sitting in the bleachers? The upper deck? These kids may only see one or two games a year, while the little rich kids are there for no greater reason than that it's easier than hiring a babysitter. There's probably not much that can be done. I don't expect the players to throw balls to the upper deck. But it does disappoint me."

The wave: "Hate it!!! Nothing is more distracting. Waving arms and bodies that stand up and sit down in the middle of action blocks off my view of the game," says Joe Humpolick of Geneva, Ohio. "Missed a lot of great plays because of it. Ban it!!"

Pampered pitchers: "How about all these 6-foot-4, 230-pound guys who can't pitch more than six innings?" asks Tom Gorman. "How about the nonsense of 'pitch counts?'"

Bad seats: "Why, as a fan, do I sit on the Internet for hours to get tickets and still end up in the nosebleed section? You know, the area where the vendors don't visit after the third inning?" asks Joe Marzano. "It's like watching a freaking ant farm."

The intentional walk: "Just have the pitcher or manager tell the ump the batter is being walked," writes David Streusand. "Don't waste time actually throwing the pitches. Only once in about 50 years is there a wild pitch on an intentional walk."

That annoying computer-generated ad behind home plate: "Who thought this was a good idea? I'm watching the World Series and see Ally McBeal's face poking out from behind Derek Jeter's a--," says the aforementioned Mr. Long of Dayton. We'll point out that the dashes in that sentence are ours, not his.

Thanks to everyone for all the ideas.

John Donovan is a senior writer for CNNSI.com. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the writer.

To e-mail Donovan, click here.

 

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