Speculation over substance

Spring training is more about storylines, not statistics

The important thing to remember, everyone says, is that it all means nothing.

Not a pitch, not a hit, not a single statistic. Not an overall performance, either, good or bad.

Not one headline. Not no headlines.

Nothing in spring training means anything.

Spring baseball is an exhibition season, let's not forget, as meaningless as a Devil Rays' win in September or an All-Star Game in Milwaukee. The only reason they play the games at all is so the players can work out some kinks after spending all winter golfing. And so the hotels and motels in Florida and Arizona can have a reason to gouge a bunch of poor seamhead snowbirds.

There is one more reason they play the games, of course: So we all can speculate. So we all can talk among ourselves. So we all can discuss what's REALLY going on, without worrying about all those burdensome stats.

For instance ...

The Rangers are a little jumpy. Alex Rodriguez is working his way back from a slipped disk in his neck, which is a good thing. But a slipped disk in his neck? A slipped disk? In his neck? A-Rod? If I'm the Rangers and Rodriguez has a slipped anything, anywhere, I'm rounding up the world's best doctors, an entire school of chiropractors and I'm buying a warehouse full of Posturpedic pillows for my $252 million baby. And then I'm reaching for the nearest bottle of Maalox.

The Yankees will be OK. Evidently Hideki Matsui can hit. Which is more than the Yankees can say for Raul Mondesi. And Jose Contreras, evidently, is not the stiff that showed up for the first few weeks of spring training. That was David Wells. That's all good news for the Yanks. Plus, there's still plenty of money in the till if they need something midseason -- say another Cy Young winner or a guaranteed 30-homer guy or a new bullpen. So give in already. They're the Yankees. They're going to be OK. Except for ...

Maybe David Wells is stupid like a fox. (Or is that sly as a dodo bird? Or clever as a llama? Ahhhh, whatever.) I'm not saying that the Yankees' pitcher is really all that clever. Or clever at all. I'm not saying he actually planned to make all that ruckus this spring. All I'm saying is that nobody can be THAT stupid. I mean, is it possible? When all is said and done, the money Wells makes off his controversial tell-some-but-not-nearly-all book, Boomer's Biggest Bloopers, will more than pay for the fine that The Boss laid on him for dragging the pinstripes through the mud. The little war of wills he's having with Steinbrenner ... Wells will give in to the guy who signs his checks, right? It'll all work out. Won't it? If he keeps pitching like he is, my money's on the big guy staying with the Yanks.

Barry Bonds is clearly the most menacing bat-wielder since Billy Jack. What you CAN tell in spring training is that Bonds' bat is as quick as it was last year, or the year before that, or the year before that. When you have hands that quick, pitchers can't make mistakes. And everyone makes mistakes. So it follows that Bonds will crunch a lot of homers again this year. How many depends on Edgardo Alfonzo or whoever it is who bats behind Bonds. Whoever it is will be the one to determine how often Bonds is walked. Of course, nobody needed spring training to figure that out.

Bud Selig does know what he's doing once in a while. I got quite a few e-mails clattering on about the canceled Mariners-A's series that was scheduled for Tokyo to start the season. About how it should have gone on. Don't let the terrorists change how we go about our lives. Heck, these players get paid plenty to do their jobs -- so do the jobs already. Clatter clatter clatter.

David Wells helped to resurrect the Bronx Zoo image with his book. AP

Well, A) Terrorists have changed things. Hundreds of thousands of coalition troops in Iraq and billions of dollars to support them are testament to that. Sorry to break that to you guys. B) What does how much someone gets paid have to do with any of this? C) Ballplayers will do their jobs, for whatever that may be worth. Just not thousands of miles away from home less than a week after a war has started. And D) Yes, Bud still has funny hair.

Change comes hard in baseball. Ephedra still is not banned, despite the role it may have played in the death this spring of Orioles pitcher Steve Bechler. The new steroid testing rules suck big wind through a big ol' toothless head. The guidelines on fighting, if that's what they are, are still too willy nilly. (I mean, really, what was Mike Piazza supposed to do? Granted, going into the opposing clubhouse afterward was a bit much. But if all he does is walk to first every time he's plunked ... well, he may as well start suiting up like Sir Lancelot.) To top it all off, the Devil Rays still stink despite the fact that Lou Piniella already has popped three veins in his forehead and challenged four of his ballplayers to clubhouse grappling matches.

The 'Youch' Report

The defending World Series champion Anaheim Angels have some questions that can't be answered just yet. Slugger Troy Glaus has a bad wrist that's a source of some concern for the team. Is it temporarily sore or something that will bug him for the rest of the year, as Vinny Castilla's bad wrist did with the Braves last season? Anaheim ace Jarrod Washburn is expected to miss only one start after spraining his shoulder in a fall on March 3, but there's that nagging doubt. Pitcher Aaron Sele has a shoulder problem and is out for at least the first month of the season.

Some other notable injures this spring ...

Pitchers Mariano Rivera and Steve Karsay are both hurting for the Yankees, Rivera with a groin and Karsay with a shoulder. Nether will be available for Opening Day and Rivera may not be around until mid-April.

Padres reliever Jay Witasick hurt himself throwing out the trash -- dang, those watermelons are heavy -- and won't be around for the opener.

Colorado shortstop Juan Uribe broke his right foot and is on the 60-day disabled list.

"El Duque" Orlando Hernandez is on the 15-day and won't be around until early April for the Expos. His brother Livan, though, will be there for him. The Expos picked him up in a trade with the Giants.

Twins starting third baseman Corey Koskie could miss the opener with a bad back.

Oakland's Miguel Tejada has a sore knee. Uh oh.

Closer Kazuhiro Sasaki has a bad shoulder and probably won't be around for the Mariners for their opener.

Milwaukee's Geoff Jenkins is fighting a bad wrist and could be on the DL when the season opens.

Camping out

 

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SI's Postcards from Spring Training Spring Training Buzz: White Sox have big plans for Crede SI's 2003 Baseball Scouting Reports Previous John Donovan columns

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