Impossible dream

Users shoot down notion of instant tour golfer

Sports Illustrated senior writer John Garrity was a 42-year-old 8-handicapper when he suddenly lost his swing. Since December 1989 he has been looking for it -- a modern-day Odysseus adrift on the troubled waters of swing theory. As Garrity travels the world reporting on golf, he visits as many driving ranges as he can, avoiding the dreaded "mats only" ranges that prevent him from teeing it up.

Tuesday, May 14

SAN DIEGO -- The mailbag is bulging with e-mails from readers eager to stomp on Keith Shin's dream of becoming a touring pro in 365 easy lessons. "I was amazed and astounded," sputters Will Nguyen of Humble, Texas. "In his letter to you, Shin asserted that with a year of practice anyone of average ability could become not only a scratch golfer, but be able to compete on the tour. But I ask you, if I took a year, no, a decade off, and if I took my income and translated that money into tokens for the batting cage, would Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds have to fear that their records would be toppled?"

Recognizing that as a rhetorical question, I'll move on.

"I think good old Keith is not living in the real world," writes Charles McCampbell of Manassas Park, Va. "Does he realize the number of golfers playing on the bush tours who break 70 on a routine basis? And they never come close to making the big show." Steve Leichter of New York nods in agreement: "Why do so many weekend athletes have absolutely no clue how good the pros really are? Join the PGA Tour after a year of practice? The average golfer couldn't win his club championship after a year of practice."

David Tepper of San Francisco broadens the attack: "In addition to vastly underestimating the challenge of playing golf on the PGA Tour, your friend Keith makes some classic mistakes about what makes a great athlete. Is a sprinter a better athlete than a shot putter just because he has less body fat? John Daly's combination of power and touch show extraordinary athletic ability, and while Duffy Waldorf may be carrying a little more baggage than most of his peers, that does not negate his strength and coordination."

Spotting cameras and microphones at the edge of the crowd, Terry Connell of Montclair, N.J., reduces his argument to a sound bite: "I went from a 16 handicap to a 6 in two seasons, then I hit the wall. I think Keith is reaching a bit."

The score so far: KEITH IS WRONG, 5 ... KEITH IS RIGHT, 0.

An e-mail from Ronald Montesano of Grand Island, N.Y., opens rather brusquely: "Keith is ignorant. Daly, on a dare, once kicked three consecutive 40-yard field goals at a Denver Broncos practice." Montesano suggests that Keith read a recent Washington Golf Monthly article by Wayne DeFrancesco on the anybody-can-be-a-pro theme. "Wayne also responded to an e-mail from a delusional amateur, albeit a better one than Keith seems to be."

Ouch.

The next e-mail popping Keith's balloon comes, interestingly enough, from a young man who recently got laid off from a high-tech job and is using his severance package to get his handicap down near the value of his stock options. "I've had a couple of 1-over and 2-over rounds lately, so I believe it's possible," writes Regas Chefas of Alamosa, Colo., "but I calculate the odds that I will ever play an event on the PGA Tour at about 10,000 to 1. Realistically, I will be lucky to be competitive in a mini-tour event."

Chefas, who says his handicap soared above 20 after he was injured in a skiing accident, is currently a 10. He writes, "I don't think you can become a tour player in any time frame without developing a hardened winning attitude in another line of work. Calvin Peete was a war veteran and had the required mental toughness before he took up golf." And even if he and Keith can get mentally tough and physically fit, Chefas sees a further obstacle: "Hitting balls will only take you so far. Their touch around the greens is what separates most PGA Tour players from Hooters Tour players, and that is not something you can build in a year."

By now, Keith would probably like to slink off to Australia and pursue his dream beyond the taunts and ridicule. Not so fast, Keith! James Weston of Melbourne writes about a friend who "rapidly went from an 8 handicap to a 2 by virtue of lessons and about six months regular practice." The friend, who was 20, quit his job and threw himself into 12 months of hardcore practice. "Sure enough, after a year of pounding balls -- and he worked genuinely hard with his local pro -- all he had to show for it was a 1 handicap and an absolute hatred of the game." Greg Best of Perth, meanwhile, writes to call our attention to a series that Golf Australia has been running -- something about a fellow who took a year off work and practiced daily under the direction of one of Australia's top golf teachers. "The series finished this month," Best reports, "with the golfer reaching only about a 10 handicap."

As usual, I don't have the time or energy to acknowledge all the colorful and insightful contributions Keith's letter provoked. Several of you mentioned David Lee of Gravity Golf fame, who claimed his system could produce pro-level golfers in a year. ("I never heard any results," writes a reader from Canada, "so I figured it was probably a failure.") Others told of their efforts to become scratch golfers in four years, or eight years, or 20 years, and James E. McLaurin of San Leandro, Calif., jumped right out of his chair, a wild look in his eyes, and wrote, "Your article has given me a new goal to shoot for! I will be a scratch golfer by summer 2003." He added, "Oh, yeah, I'm 43 years old with no visions of the tour."

Keith Shin, I must add, has already written from Austin, Texas, to thank me in advance for his autographed copy of The Ultimate Golf Book and to say, "No mas!" He also caves on his tour-in-a-year argument. With slumped shoulders, he murmurs, "The only hope I have now is the Senior tour, for which I have about 20 years to practice."

That brings me to my favorite e-mail of the bunch, which comes from David C. Wigfield of Wayne, N.J. "I heard a story, which may be apocryphal," he begins in a voice as Dickensian as his name, "about a man who thought he was good enough to play on the Senior PGA tour. He approached the late Harvey Penick and told him, 'I'm 49 years old, I have all the money I need, I'm a pretty good golfer, and I would like to spend the next year preparing for the Senior tour.' Penick's reply was: "I'd like you to meet one of our members. He's 49 years old, has all the money he needs, is a pretty good golfer, and he also intends to spend the next year preparing for the Senior tour.' Penick then introduced the man to Tom Kite."

Apocryphal or not, it's a great yarn. Keith will probably tell it on himself, 10 years from now, when he's struggling to break 90 in the Happy Falls Country Club Member-Guest.

Watch this space for another installment of Mats Only. To send John Garrity advice, share your experiences, or suggest a driving range, click here.

 

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