But if you can past get the parity, the unpredictability and the blandness of some players, the actual on-court product in men's tennis has never been better. While nothing eclipsed the drama and melodrama of Capriati-Hingis, a good many of the men's matches -- Roger Federer-Tommy Haas, Marcelo Rios -Haas, Marat Safin-Pete Sampras, Wayne Ferreira-Albert Costa, portions of Haas-Safin -- were played at exceptionally high standards. And anyone who thinks the men's game has devolved into a Slam-bam-thank-you- Goran serve-o-rama wasn't watching. We saw plenty of long, creative points with lots of shotmaking and flair. Perhaps it's time for the ATP to stop pushing unreliable players and simply sell the overall quality of the tennis.

Let's get ready to rumble. For safety.

What's up with all the women's tennis bashing? You know who you are, Marcelo Rios. Are the men feeling inadequate because the women's game gets more press and most fans can name at least five women players (try that on the men's side), or are they just sexist pigs?
—Allison, Toronto

Lots of Rios questions this week. It's sort of old news by now, but a quick riff: I didn't disagree with him initially. He didn't say that women should be paid less. Or that they were the weaker sex. Or that they were out of shape, as Pat Cash did last year. Rios said that the early rounds were comically lopsided and that it's highly questionable when Hingis can win her fourth-round match 6-0, 6-1. Empirically speaking, he is right: The top women have a much easier go of it during the first week than the top men. (Not that this is necessarily a bad thing: It means blockbuster matchups await in the tournament's waning days, and instead of Jiri Novak-Stefan Koubek, you get quarterfinal matchups involving the top seven seeds.)

Rios lost his credibility the next day when he brought up Karsten Braasch and predicted that Braasch would beat the Williams sisters 6-0. There he simply came across as another pig denigrating the women's game.

I will say this: Disagree with Rios' politics, but don't let that prevent you from watching him play. When he feels like competing, he is one of the more entertaining players around, an unbelievable talent -- one's tempted, at times, to use the word genius -- who hits a good dozen no-way-in-the-world shots per match.

Why don't Grand Slam tournaments assign names, numbers or letters to sections of the draw, just like the NCAA basketball tournament? With 128 players in each draw, this would help out journalists (particularly on television) by eliminating such awkward sentences as, "Monica Seles is in the top portion of the bottom part of the draw, in the same section as Venus Williams." I cringe when I hear the talking heads say things like this, and I'll bet they cringe, too.
—Douglas Neman, Dallas

The NCAA brackets are distinctly named because the games are played in distinct regions of the country. That's not, obviously, the case at tennis tournaments. If we said that Thomas Johansson came out of the Midwest bracket while Marat Safin won the East, is it any more descriptive than "top half" and "bottom half"? Maybe this is an opportunity for a sponsor tie-in. Kia quadrant winner Monica Seles will play Heineken quadrant winner Martina Hingis in the semifinals. Just a thought.

Congratulations, Mr. Wertheim! After years of predicting Thomas Johansson as a Grand Slam finalist, he finally did it! And he even won! My question is, given that the last three Grand Slam winners are first-timers, does this tip you off that men's tennis is gonna have a lot of strange winners over the next few years? Or do you think this was just another of those Australian flukes?
—Joe, Madison, Wis.

Both. This Australian Open was particularly aberrant, in part because of the injuries. In all the bets taken by the on-site sports book, not a single punter predicted the Novak-Johansson-Safin-Haas final four. At the same time, the men's game is so hopelessly awash in parity, there are probably a good 20 players capable of winning the next Slam.

Maybe one of the most auspicious stories that came out of Melbourne was that of Daniela Hantuchova: strong singles showing, women's doubles finalist, mixed doubles champion. I know you've praised her before, but now that she truly has arrived, what can you tell us about her?
—David Ebershoff, New York

Hantuchova turned plenty of heads, not merely because she played her matches in what was essentially a black cocktail dress. She needs to put on some muscle -- again, 5-foot-11, 128 pounds are the dimensions of a model, not a Grand Slam champion -- but she will be a top-10 player within a year.

Do you think Marat Safin's girlfriend will do for bra sales in Russia what Clark Gable did for T-shirt sales here when he bared his chest in It Happened One Night?
—Stacy, Washington

Touché.

Is Justine Henin our new Jana Novotna? Does she have a pretzel permanently lodged in her psyche? While I wouldn't classify her losses as blatant choking, she doesn't seem to win a lot of big matches. Also, what did you make of her matchup with Kim Clijsters? Will their rivalry suffer or intensify because they are countrywomen?
—Megan Briscoe, Indianapolis

The new Novotna, I hate to say, is Amelie Mauresmo. She is a wonderfully fluid player, delightful off the court and far more intelligent than your average bear. Yet she can't seem to bring her A game when it matters most. After playing the best tennis on tour in the months prior and raising expectations, Mauresmo lost in the first round of the 2001 French. She has yet to recover.

Henin, you're right, hasn't distinguished herself in big-match play. But she did beat Capriati in the Wimbledon semis. Also, by virtue of her height and physical stature, she is limited. Against Clijsters, she was simply outclassed.

I am terribly excited that at long last Greece can lay claim to a full-fledged tennis player like Eleni Daniilidou (so far we have been living vicariously through part-Greeks like Mark Philippoussis and Pete Sampras). Can you tell us a bit more about her? She did well in the 2001 U.S. Open, didn't she? Good of you to notice her one-handed backhand, by the way. Also, I would like to extend an invitation to Philippoussis to join our Davis Cup team in Greece, if the Aussies are still bitter about his DC performances. We could certainly use him!
—Vera Sideraki, Houston

Though her name was frequently mispronounced during telecasts, Daniilidou was not an entirely unknown commodity. A highly regarded junior, she reached the semis of the U.S. Open girls' draw a few years back, and, as you note, reached the third round of the 2001 U.S. Open. The rap has been that she is an immense talent who is neither a particularly hard worker nor a fierce competitor. That was essentially born out in her match against Capriati. After playing a great set of tennis, she seemed to lose interest. (Granted, Capriati had something to do with that.) Still, she is a player well worth watching.

And since you brought it up, how flimsy are the stipulations for joining a particular Davis Cup team? Wait, you once ate a burrito? You're eligible to play for Mexico! What's that? You once rented Casablanca? Contact the Moroccan federation immediately.

The Academy Awards just called. It's nominated Glitter for Best Picture. Go, Monica Seles!
—J. Dolan, Hanover, N.H.

All credit to Seles. A few of you pooh-poohed her performance, suggesting that Seles got lucky because Venus was injured. But the win over Venus was completely legit. Seles beat her off the ground and played better when the tension was highest, winning 11 of 13 points during one stretch in the third set. Seles ran out of steam against Hingis in her next match, but she must have left Melbourne awfully pleased with the state of her game.

Hey, Dave from Maryland. Now that you've screamed at Jon, get over it -- and that goes for the rest of you people who insist on writing in and berating him. He's a columnist who gets paid to give his opinions. Key word: opinion. Opinions are like rear ends -- everybody has one and they all stink. Deal with it.
—K. Washington, Honolulu

Thanks, Mom. Especially for that beautiful imagery at the end.

In your opinion what has been the secret to Steffi Graf's wonderful transition from all-time great player to wife of Andre Agassi and mother of Jaden Gil? Watching her determination all those years, not to mention knowing her love of the game, I would have thought she would have had a more difficult time with retirement. I mean, look at Boris Becker.
—Anne Marie, Dedham, Mass.

Graf was one of those Greta Garbo -esque players who tolerated the spotlight (barely) but never relished it. To many (sponsors, the media, the WTA Tour), it was maddening at the time to have such a private, reticent star. But it made her transition to a "normal" life much easier. I recounted this anecdote about Graf at the 2001 Australian Open.

You've been complimentary about our hometown boy's personality, but rough on his game. If you had Jan-Michael Gambill's ear, so to speak, how would you advise him? Does he need more "conventional" coaching? Does he just put too much pressure on himself? I'd be interested to hear what your solution to his overcoming his "limits" would be.
—Kathryn Owen, Spokane, Wash.

Given that it's too late to lose the two-fisted forehand, my advice would be to beef up his volleys and come in more often. Gambill's a deceptively big guy with a heavy serve and he moves reasonably well. There's no reason to spend so much time on the baseline. At Wimbledon in 2000, what I thought could be a breakthrough event for him, JMG beat players like Lleyton Hewitt and Thomas Enqvist by attacking. There's no reason he can't do the same on other surfaces.

OK, so now we know that Taylor Dent is eligible to play for his choice of Davis Cup teams. We also know why the Aussies want him, and why Pat McEnroe cares. So where will he end up?
—Elizabeth, Eden Prairie, Minn.

The Australians are likely to name the slumping Andrew Ilie and Scott Draper as their singles players for next week's tie against Argentina. But they haven't ruled out Richard Fromberg. Enough said.

Ironically enough, as I write this, Pat McEnroe is sitting right next to me, 35,000 feet above ground. But he's fast asleep having wearied of Zoolander, so we'll get you an answer next week.

How cool would it be for some eccentric millionaire to sponsor a unified-racket tournament with tons of prize money to entice all the players? They would all use the same racket, something similar to a wood racket but maybe a little lighter to prevent injuries, maybe around 75 to 80 square inches for the head. We'd see less Ping Pong-style points, more strategy, more use of spin and more net play. Serve-and-volleyers would stand a chance! I'm guessing Pete Sampras would win for the men, since his racket is the oldest, smallest and heaviest on tour. Whom would you pick for the women? Could this ever happen?
—Andy, New York

Crazier things have happened. Maybe if Seles could rekindle her relationship with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen, your scenario could be realized. Regardless, I think you would be disappointed with the outcome. We'd like to think that standard equipment would be to the little guy's advantage. But as we've written in the past, give Philippoussis a wooden racket and he'll still serve bombs. Yet take power and racket technology away from a Hewitt or an Agassi and their precision from the baseline as well as their ability to return serve is greatly reduced.

We know how Lindsey Davenport, Jennifer Capriati and the Williams sisters feel about one other. The top Russian girls don't seem to have too many nice things to say about each other. Arantxa Sánchez-Vicario and Conchita Martinez were co-members of a mutual dis-admiration society when they were both in the top 10. Given this history, is it true that those bodacious Belgians, Kim Clijsters and Justine Henin, really do like each other?
—Karl Miller, Phoenixville, Pa.

When someone used the phrase "Belgian sisters" last week, Henin demurred and said that was overstating the case. The two Belgians are friendly and are Fed Cup teammates. But it pretty much ends there. No hostility or anything (Clijsters is entirely too nice to have enemies), but they're not exactly inseparable. As we've discussed in the past, it's hard for any of the top players to be truly close with any other top player. Also, Clijsters is Flemish while Henin is French, which means that in many ways, they may as well be from two different countries.

1) Who have the best one-handed backhands on the men's tour? My list would include Andrei Pavel, Tommy Haas and Alex Corretja. Am I forgetting anyone?

2) You recently remarked on the lack of faults with Jennifer Capriati's game. I've always noticed she tends to hit from her back foot while off the ground on her forehand side. This is definitely not textbook, but it is a tribute to her great coordination. I also think her serve (like 99 percent of the women) has about three hitches in it and a lot of momentum is lost with the lack of forward follow-through (Seles is the worst at it among the top women).
—Rob Oliver, Louisville, Ky.

1) That's a good list, but I would add Gustavo Kuerten and, believe it or not, Sampras, who's backhand is far from a bread-and-butter shot but is underrated nonetheless.

2) I was strictly speaking about Capriati's ground game, but she does hit off her back foot -- albeit with success. You're right about Seles' hitch. Of course, Venus has a noticeable hitch, too, but it didn't prevent her from serving 197 kmh, tops among the women.

Someone told me that Ivan Lendl (remember him?) is an excellent squash player. Is that true? Are there any tennis players on tour who also play squash competitively?
—Josh, Somerville, Mass.

Lendl? Hmmmm. Names rings a faint bell. Funny you should ask about squash. I was always taught that tennis and squash go together like Rios and Betty Friedan. Squash might sharpen your volleys and is a much better workout than tennis, but you end up hitting your tennis groundies with too much wrist. However, last week Johansson remarked that one of the keys to his success was playing squash in the offseason. He added that a lot of the Swedes play squash to improve their movement and conditioning.

I hadn't heard about Lendl. But it wouldn't surprise me. A competent tennis player can pick up squash pretty easily.

Someone had to ask this: What kind of career did Lisa Bonder (ex-Mrs. Kirk Kerkorian) have? I noticed she made the quarters of the French in 1983. I do remember her being really cute, but I don't remember much about her game. Did she ever have the potential to make, say, $320,000 a month on the court rather than in court?
—David, Wisconsin

Lisa Bonder was a good, not great, baseliner who cracked the top 10 but was known as much for her looks as her game. For whatever reason, she was immensely popular in Japan. She has been the butt of jokes for the past two weeks now. So I won't pile on. (Not too much, anyway; $1,500-a-month for maintenance of indoor plants? -- you can't make that stuff up.) As we wrote in Sports Illustrated last week, in 1986 she told reporters that a long-term goal was "to become financially secure so that when I leave the sport I won't have to depend on anyone else."

I know mixed doubles is a sideshow. However, I'm curious as to how the new 10-point tiebreaker -- in lieu of a third set -- worked with players and fans. There seemed to be less star appeal in the Aussie draw and I wonder if this new rule is some sort of concession to the ever-waning stature of the event?
—David, Portland, Ore.

Mixed doubles is essentially filler content, an event to put on before or after a big match that gives fans more bang for the buck. Fred Perry flouted political correctness when he described it as "men's singles with two women standing on the court." But let's just say it doesn't carry a lot of gravitas. A few hardcore purists were upset by the bastardization that is the "Supertiebreaker," but it made scheduling more predictable and spared us the horror of watching Daniela Hantuchova-Kevin Ulyett and Paola Suarez-Gaston Etlis playing a match that ended 18-16 in the third set. I wouldn't be surprised -- or particularly upset -- if we saw this "innovation" in men's doubles, which, for the first time, had a best-of-three final.

My favorite TV show is also Pardon the Interruption. So let's do some role play: You've just been named to host a tennis version of PTI. Who are your top five picks for cohost?
—Mike Hershour, Etters, Pa.

Why not open this to the floor and have you guys send me your choices for next week. Free Australian Open souvenirs for the best answers. ...

Have a good week, everyone!

Sports Illustrated senior writer Jon Wertheim, author of Venus Envy: A Sensational Season Inside the Women's Tennis Tour, is a regular contributor to CNNSI.com. Click here to send him a question or comment.

 

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