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Far from predictable Posted: Monday June 03, 2002 1:36 PM
Sports Illustrated senior writer Jon Wertheim will answer your tennis questions every Monday. Click here to send a question. PARIS -- Let's go right to the questions this week. But keep checking back for my daily reports from Roland Garros. I am always a fan of your predictions for the various majors; they always feel on the mark and are a useful guide for the start of the tournament. Fortunately for you, my memory is short when it comes to your actual picks, so out of curiosity (and with no intent to embarrass you), just how accurate have your predictions been since you started posting them? Are you making better predictions on the men's side or the women's? Are some Slams better than others?
Short memory, eh? Surely you must recall my picking Jennifer Capriati and Thomas Johansson to win in Australia. Indeed, I haven't been wrong on a prediction since divining that Pat Rafter would beat Goran Ivanisevic at Wimbledon, not the other way around. Damn that let court.
As anyone who has ever competed in an NCAA tournament pool can attest, predictions are a lot of fun, but one shouldn't read too much into them. (Isn't it a cosmic rule that the person filling in the NCAA brackets based on the teams with the prettiest uniforms invariably outperforms the hoopsaholic who knows every team's RPI?) Picking Andre Agassi -- a former champ, fresh off winning the Italian Open -- here doesn't make one a tennis genius should AA win. Likewise, every now and then I get e-mail saying something to the effect of, "You moron, you sure blew it by picking Clijsters to reach the final. My toy poodle knows more about tennis than you." The temptation is to respond: "Silly me. How could I have overlooked that dangerous Clarisa Fernandez?" Do you think Americans should even bother going to the French Open? I know overall American tennis is in the dumps, but the results in Paris have been pathetic. Outside of the top players, the American women aren't that good on clay, either. After Andre Agassi retires, there's a good chance an American male will never reach the third round again. Do you think the French Open should spot all Americans a set in their matches? That would at least give them a fighting chance.
I suppose the French players would ask for the same courtesy at the U.S. Open, so it's probably not a good idea. You're right that once again, the Americans -- the men, anyway -- didn't acquit themselves too well on the terre battue. Only two of 12 made it past the second round. Some players, including Andy Roddick and James Blake, may have success here eventually. But it's clear that the French will continue to be the worst Slam for the Yanks for a long time to come. Aside to the USTA: Get these juniors playing on clay ASAP. To what would you attribute Andy Roddick's lack of Grand Slam success? Is he overrated at this stage of his career or is he struggling with the pressures and expectations of being the U.S.'s next big thing?
A week ago, that wouldn't have been a valid question. In 2001, Roddick played well at Roland Garros for a first-timer, had a nice run at Wimbledon and came within a dodgy call of making the semis of the U.S.; plus, he had a legitimate injury in Australia. But his loss here to Wayne Arthurs was a bad one, and, although Roddick is having a respectable 2002 on balance, his play at the two Slams has been disappointing. I think he's handling the pressure pretty well; he just needs to play more patiently in big matches. What makes Wayne Arthurs' serve so effective? He's not the hardest server, regularly serving 10 mph slower than Greg Rusedski, Pete Sampras and Goran Ivanisevic. Despite that he cranks out a large number of aces and is considered to be one of the better servers on tour. What gives?
A lot of it has to do with the lefty delivery, which makes it all the more difficult to read. Arthurs serves with a lot of variety, too -- as Roddick put it, Arthurs has "about 72 different looks." During the Roddick match, I was sitting courtside on the ad side, and I was amazed at the "action" Arthurs got on that kick serve. Any idea how badly Mary Pierce's injuries have affected her physically? When I saw her playing at Roland Garros last week, she looked like she was Anna Kournikova's size. When she won the French Open in 2000, she looked as big as Jennifer Capriati.
It's funny, the French writers were saying that she's gained 25 pounds over the past few years. I'm with you, though; I think she looks more lithe than when she won here in 2000. Seriously, her choice of outfit has a lot to do with the perception. In any case, she seems to be over her injuries: a bad right shoulder, back inflammation, abdominal strain, etc. It's a real achievement for her to reach the quarters after brandishing a ranking of 290 just a few months ago. What is the deal with Elena Dementieva? She really looked like she was going to be a player a few years back, but she never seems to win. Were we seduced by her looks and her blonde hair?
A blonde Russian with raw talent but a lacking serve, erratic groundstrokes and no tournament titles. Sounds vaguely familiar. What's the deal with Dementieva? Good question. I don't think she necessarily seduced us with her looks. When she reached the U.S. Open semis in 2000 she truly looked like Next Big Thing material. Good athlete, bruising strokes and, it seemed, a good head on her shoulders. She's had some problems with injuries and also needed time to adjust to a new racket. But her biggest problem is her serve. It deserts her at key moments -- including on match point of her fourth-round match against Clarisa Fernandez -- and, even in the best of times, isn't the weapon it ought to be. Without that foundation, the rest of one's game collapses easily. Also, Dementieva travels with her mom, but it might do her well to retain a coach for a different perspective and dynamic. What is your opinion of French teenager Richard Gasquet? I've read everything from "he's the best European prospect since Boris Becker" to "he's overrated and Brendan Evans will be a better pro prospect in a few years." What's the truth about little Richard?
Trivia: With four rounds of the French Open in the books, who is the only player to take a set off of Albert Costa? Answer: Richard Gasquet. I'm reserving judgment until I see him play on a surface other than clay. But he's made it clear that he can play with the big boys. I didn't see signs of a weapon that would elicit comparisons to Becker. But right now he's much further along than Evans. Regarding players of short stature, don't forget about Ramesh Krishnan, a top-25 pro in the 1980s and early '90s who stood 5-foot-7, 140 pounds. The ATP stats don't go back that far, but I believe he was a Wimbledon quarterfinalist, won quite a few smaller tournaments, and won Wimbledon juniors as well. He maintained a place in the top 100, for both singles and doubles, for a long time. The epitome of a touch player.
Thanks, Prakash. Considering your love for tiny men on the tennis court, perhaps you could tell me what happened to the great Peruvian Jaime Yzaga? I'm always him when I play good ol' Sega Tennis.
Somewhere in the deep recesses of my closet, I think I have an eBay-friendly can of Inca Cola with Yzaga's photo on it. I'll send it to the first person who can inform us on the Y-Man's whereabouts. What is the greatest comeback ever on the men's pro tour? I seem to remember Jimmy Connors once coming back from something like 0-6, 0-6, 0-5 (love-30) to beat Mikael Pernfors. Is my mind making up memories again?
Pretty good memory -- it was the fourth round of Wimbledon in 1987 and Connors rallied to win 1-6, 1-6, 7-5, 6-4, 6-2. The wonks in the press room here thought Pernfors had two breaks in the third. (We probably could have looked it up, but that would have entailed actual research.) One of more recent vintage: Stefan Koubek trailed Cyril Saulnier 0-6, 1-6, 1-4 in the first round of the 2002 Australian Open and came back to win the match 8-6 in the fifth. Tennis songsFinally, our latest contest yielded the usual flood of responses, many hysterical. On a serious note first, many of you noted that Billie Jean King was the inspiration for Elton John's Philadelphia Freedom. Never knew that. Anyway, if I chose your response, get back to me with your vitals and I'll stick some swag in the mail when I get back. (A quick digressing observation: The lure of free stuff is truly a wonder. You could drop $100 bills from the ceiling of an arena and fans wouldn't pursue them with half the zeal they do free T-shirts.) WINNERS Anna Kournikova has inspired countless songs, most notably Dire Straits' Money for Nothing and Mike & The Mechanics' All I Need is a Miracle.
The rock band Phish has a song called Guy Forget. Although they have played it just once, it is a catchy song with the line, "I never met a guy I couldn't forget like Guy Forget."
Lady Marmalade, with the line, "Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, Andre Sa?"
And Leander Paes' favorite, It's My Bhupathi, by Leslie Gore. Carly Simon's You're So Vain for Anna Kournikova.
The Bangles' Manic Monday, Fuel's Bad Day, Britney Spears' Oops ... I Did It Again, John Denver's Leaving on a Jet Plane, *NSYNC's Bye Bye Bye for Pete Sampras, at the French, at least.
Pink's Don't Let Me Get Me for Jana Novotna.
Madonna's Papa Don't Preach for Mary Pierce and/or Jelena Dokic.
Oasis' Wonderwall for Amanda Coetzer.
And finally my personal favorite: Blink-182's What's My Age Again? for Mirjana Lucic. Styx's Mr. Roboto, inspired by Ivan Lendl.
We All Live in a Yellow Tamarine by the Beatles.
My Iroda by the Knack. HONORABLE MENTION Fleetwood Mac's Go Your Own Way was inspired by Marat Safin and his revolving door of coaches.
If the Williams sisters keep bailing on tennis tournaments, they might start listening to Indigo Girls' Closer to Fine.
Guga 2000 by Grand Slam is a remix of sounds of Kuerten playing at the 2000 French Open. There is a background voice repeating things like "Match point: Guga" and "Out!" with a techno beat. Every so often there is a pause where you where Kuerten grunting and hitting a ball.
European group Saint Etienne recorded a song called Conchita Martínez.
How could you do better than The Ballad of Bjorn Borg by indie-rock gods the Pernice Brothers? In an interview I read, Joe Pernice said that he thought Borg was such a tragic figure. Not a bad clay-court player either!
1. Garbage's A Stroke of Luck: Inspired by all of the One-Slam Wonders.
2. Dire Straits' Brothers in Arms: Inspired by Bob and Mike Bryan.
3. Pixies' Where Is My Mind?: Dedicated to Marat Safin and Goran Ivanisevic, who make tennis more colorful and interesting.
4. Garbage's When I Grow Up: Inspired by Martina Hingis with the line: "When I grow up, I won't win any Slams."
5. Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit: Inspired by French wonderboy Richard Gasquet.
6. Red Hot Chili Peppers' I Like Dirt: Dedicated to all clay-court specialists. I'd like to bring to your esteemed attention to a couple examples you overlooked:
Brian Hyland's Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini was updated to Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Serve Like Gabby Sabbatini.
Rickie Lee Jones' updated remix of Chuck E.'s in Love, in honor of Martina Hingis: Chucky's in Love. Johnny Rivers' new hit Secret Asian Man: An ode to Michael Chang in the twilight of his career, as he tries to sneak up on superior players.
Shocking Blue's Venus: About whom else?
Mötley Crüe's Girls, Girls, Girls: Commissioned by the WTA to promote the tour.
And let's not forget those wacky tennis dads:
The Beatles' Taxman: Penned by Peter Graf from the calaboose.
Napoleon XIV's They're Coming to Take Me Away Ha-Haaa!: Composed and performed by Damir Dokic. Monica Seles actually has two songs that I know of. One is Fly Monica, Fly by the Australian band Young Elders. The other, a lament on her stabbing, is Monica by Dan Bern.
It seems that all things musically Navratilova can be found here; I believe the song Martina by Phranc is the one in which she spells out Navratilova's name. I'd just like to point out that Pete Sampras was once referred to in a song by hip-hop bigshot Jay-Z. I don't recall the title, but do I remember the line went "... serve like Sampras."
Right you are, Karen. Who knew Jay-Z was a Pistol Pete fan? Check out his song Can't Knock the Hustle. As a tennis fan and professional musician, you have doubly hit my soft spot with your "tennis songs" challenge. Rather than risk spending the entire week coming up with possibilities, I have narrowed the field for myself. So without further ado ...
Top 10 songs by female vocalists (or groups with female vocalists) between 1982 and 1985 about players' Grand Slam achievements. (Note: The tennis event had to occur in the same year that the song was a hit -- none of this associating songs with players who weren't even known when the songs came out)
10. Bonnie Tyler's Holding Out for a Hero, 1984. Refers to the close-but-no-cigar performances of home-country players at Slams. Jo Durie made the quarters at Wimbledon that year and Pat Cash did the same at the Australian, while Wendy Turnbull made the semis in Melbourne.
9. Sade's Smooth Operator, 1985. This was a tribute to the elegant grass-court style of Stefan Edberg, who won his first Slam at that year's Australian.
8. Pat Benatar's Invincible, 1985. This, of course, pays tribute to Ivan Lendl's undramatic but impressive demolishing of the entire field at that year's U.S. Open.
7. Go-Go's Vacation, 1982. As everyone knows, this song is about Bjorn Borg's notable absence from that year's Slams.
6. Madonna's Dress You Up, 1985. Perhaps the only song to pay homage to Anne White's famous Wimbledon bodysuit.
5. Mary Jane Girls' In My House, 1985. Also inspired by that year's Wimbledon, this song saluted Boris Becker's triumph there and forecasted his home-court dominance on Centre Court through the years.
4. Stevie Nicks' Edge of Seventeen, 1982. Sung for Andrea Jaeger, who made the semis at the French shortly before her 17th birthday (Jaeger reached two other Slam semis that year on the other side of her birthday).
3. Eurythmics's Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This), 1983. This song describes the euphoria in France that followed Yannick Noah's victory at Roland Garros.
2. Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time, 1984. For Martina Navratilova, who won three Slams that year, upping her streak to six in a row.
1. Tina Turner's What's Love Got To Do With It, 1984. This song was meant to preserve, in spite of her double-bageling at the hands of Chris Evert Lloyd, the luster of Camile Benjamin's improbable and inspiring run to that year's French semis. Sports Illustrated senior writer Jon Wertheim is a regular contributor to
CNNSI.com. Click here to send him a question or comment.
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