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Welcome back, Tonya Harding
Posted: Thursday October 21, 1999 12:35 PM
Welcome home, Tonya. Glad to see you back where you belong. Not on the ice, necessarily, but in the newspapers. You're one of the true characters of sport. Sort of our Susan Lucci. What's your marital status now? What's your religious affiliation? Is there an internet site or some place we can see you naked? Again? Are you off parole? Are you, Tonya, happy? You've been quiet lately and that's bothered us. We've been left wit these dull little robots, that Michelle Kwan and that Tara Whatever her Name Is, executing those perfect triple toe loops and perfect curtsies. Figure skating returned to a dance recital tempo, measured and genteel. We've missed you, Tonya. You little dickens. You must have something up that taffeta sleeve as you make your comeback. Hopefully not a tire iron. Hah. Just kidding. There must be some cheesy infomercial to follow, some line of skin care products and body toners to promote. There must be some kind ot tempestuous relationship on the horizon. Have you ever met Latrell Sprewell, Tonya? Mike Ditka? An American League umpire? Surely you're booked for an appearance on Letterman, for a good psychoanalysis under Oprah's cameras. You know, just the other day, there was a little story that Nancy Kerrigan had released a CD, trying a career as a singer. You know what we said? "Where's Tonya?" And here you are. You little dickens. Sports Illustrated senior writer Leigh Montville appears regularly on CNN/Sports Illustrated. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the writer.
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