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Let's rid ourselves of drunken fans
I always have been an advocate of the death penalty for fans who run onto the field or court during a sporting event. I think if you deep-fried a few of these drunken louts and publicity seekers -- cooked 'em, baked 'em, smoked 'em -- the problem pretty much would dry up in a hurry. A good start would be with that fat boy in the yellow coat who ran onto the field in the fourth quarter of the Carolina Panthers' 31-14 win over the Green Bay Packers on Monday Night Football. Did you catch his little act? He ran into the middle of a play! Eric Davis of the Panthers had intercepted a Brett Favre pass and was coming back up the field and fat boy suddenly was in the middle of the crowd, getting pummeled along with everybody else. Boom. I don't know what his punishment will be in the coming days -- probably a fine of some kind -- but I do know it won't be strong enough. The guy will receive some notoriety, have his name in the newspaper. He will have his moment, his weird little touch of fame, simply for acting like an idiot. I say we make him pay for the moment. I know the death penalty isn't an option -- except maybe if he ran onto the field at Texas Stadium -- but how about some other punishments? What if we make him field one NFL punt, no fair catch allowed? What if we make him stand at the plate, one at-bat, against Roger Clemens? What if we make him stop one Brett Hull slapshot? Without a mask? The pictures from the hospital might do the job. Yes, they might. Sports Illustrated senior writer Leigh Montville appears regularly on CNN/Sports Illustrated. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the writer.
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