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Van Gundy needs better management
Updated: Wednesday January 17, 2001 8:10 AM
I would like to announce that I have taken over the boxing career of New York Knicks coach Jeff Van Gundy. I know he is now 0-2 in NBA bouts and I know his face looks as if he was bludgeoned by a two-by-four in a dark alley, but I still see a lot of hope for the boy. I say he has a feisty spirit, a lion's heart that can bring him to the top. Mismanagement has been the biggest problem so far in his fistic career. Mismanagement of the highest order. Who's been booking these fights? Don King? Vince McMahon? The Farrelly Brothers? First Alonzo Mourning, now Marcus Camby ... poor Van Gundy has given up a foot and maybe 150 pounds each time out. Jackie Chan wouldn't have had a chance against these guys. Who was supposed to be next on the dance card? Ray Lewis, Tony Siragusa and the Baltimore Ravens' defense? George Foreman in an infomercial showdown fought in cooking mitts? I'm bringing my guy back to pound-for-pound reality. I'm starting him out with a few fights against ballet dancers from The Nutcracker, maybe a couple against jockeys from Hollywood Park. I say he'll be ready for Robert Reich within a year. Maybe then we'll bring in Mini-Me. Then maybe Bob Costas or Martina Hingis for the title. It's not nuclear science, this boxing. You just have to pick your fights ... pick 'em right. Sports Illustrated senior writer Leigh Montville appears regularly on CNN/Sports Illustrated. The opinions expressed here are solely those of the writer.
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