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Boola, Boola for the Victors!
Have something to say about Rick Reilly's musings? Click here to submit a comment. Or see what other users had to say about Reilly's column.
Among the 4,287 ways college football beats the living beaver snot out of pro football -- e.g., cheerleaders with real breasts, teams that don't pack up and leave at midnight, mascots who actually bite -- the best is fight songs. As they say in Texas, a good fight song'll give you chill bumps. Your star and your coach may leave, but your fight song never will. Even at 96, on her death bed, with the pastor reading from the Good Book, a true college fan, upon hearing her fight song played on the horn of a passing Winnebago, will leap up and bellow from the bottom of her bellower: Raz-a-maroo!
Yeah, fight songs are corny, and their lyrics make no sense. So how come if you go up to a 300-pound Duluth mechanic and sing the Minnesota fight song, which includes the tender phrase Rah, Rah, Rah! For Ski-U-Mah, he may begin weeping into his socket wrenches? The best fight song in all college football is, of course, Colorado's (my ol' alma mater), and the worst is Nebraska's (steroid-guzzling rival). Here's how the Cornhuskers' fight song goes in our house: There is no place like Nebraska,
(Which isn't as bad as what my brother-in-law, who went to Oklahoma, taught his kids: Whenever they went number two, they were to look into the bowl as they flushed and say, "See ya in Lincoln!") Most people begrudgingly concede that either Notre Dame's (Cheer, cheer for old Notre Dame) or Wisconsin's (On, Wisconsin!) fight song stirs something deep within them. Me, I like Michigan's. Hail! to the victors valiant
Problem is, that's pretty much the whole song, repeated over and over. What do you want from the state that gave you the K-Car? Still, it's better than Oklahoma's, which consists almost entirely of the words boomer and sooner. Boomer Sooner!
My guess is, the song's composer, after stealing the tune from Yale (Boola, boola!), came down with writer's block early on. Bobby Joe Gunrack: "Hail, fellers, this song's got two dang words." Boys lying around the Dairy Queen: "Aw cripes, Bobby Joe, cain't ya get rid of one?" I don't care. I just love college fight songs. I love St. Olaf's (Um ya ya!). I love Kansas's ('Cause I'm a Jay, Jay, Jay, Jay Jayhawk! With a sis-boom, hip hoorah!). I love Akron's (Zzzip! Zip go the Zi -- ips!). I, however, hate Utah's: I'm a Utah man, sir,
That stirs the ol' blood, eh? Can't you see the Utes coach at halftime? "Dadgummit, gang, we're losin' 51-7! Now get out there and get jolly!" I love fight songs, but I don't love them near as much as Matt Nelson of Birmingham does, who can sing, upon request, in hearty voice, 115 fight songs without slipping a single Something-something. Go! Fight! Win! in there. Not only that, he can play them on the trombone. Nelson, who perhaps isn't well, was taught Auburn's War Eagle at age four by his mother and now, at 26, knows all the Division I-A football fight songs but five -- Connecticut's, Nevada's, UTEP's, Kent State's and Buffalo's. (Of course, Nelson says, even Buffalo doesn't know the lyrics to Buffalo's, because its football team was defunct for a while, and, although the team is back, Nelson can't find the words.) "My favorites -- besides War Eagle, of course -- are Mississippi State's and Washington State's," says Nelson, who admits his phonographic memory gets him a lot of free beer. "But they're all great." I ask you, what does the NFL have to compare? I mean besides Bud Bowl XXXVII? Issue date: August 14, 2000 Have something to say about Rick Reilly's musings? Click here to submit a comment.
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