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1 Hair spray alone responsible for half of hole in
ozone.
2 From his signature Pit Boss
ensemble.
3 Hoosier Daddy (two wins in five years) hopelessly behind on slang and
hoops.
4 Oklahoma State andro-cowboy mascot has a habit of firing blanks behind ears of
overcaffeinated
reporters.
5 Jan Gangelhoff, former academic counseling unit office manager, says she did
course work for more than 20 basketball players, including writing papers.
6 As new Washington, D.C., sports radio talk-show host, call him the Hoya
Annoya.
7 Many trapped in tragic Huey Lewis time
warp.
8 In 10 years, with his bulbous body type, egomaniacal UConn guard has chance to
become next Al
Roker.
9 Part begins in
armpit.
10 Self-important podium pounder who complains CBS's late-night starts have
cruel effect on players is known for conducting 5 a.m. practices after some
losses.
11 Gophers' nickname comes from familiar phrase among athletic tutoring staff:
"Calvin has a chemistry test tomorrow. Can you gopher
him?"
12 Fathered two children before the age of 20. O.K., this kid's ready for the
NBA!
13 Subject of exhaustive Army Corps of Engineers
study.
14 Apparently nobody suspected anything when players turned in excellent term
papers on menstrual cycles, women in the workplace and effects of cocaine on
pregnancy.
15 Imported beaver pelt on scalp in possible violation of Canadian fur ban
treaty.
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1 Clearly not earning their free Pathfinders: Wisconsin's 32 points in first
round was six fewer than Badgers football team scored in 1999 Rose Bowl, Detroit
beat UCLA despite shooting 33%, New Mexico took more than nine minutes to score
a field goal against
UConn.
2 Loses in court more than Hamilton Burger, including last week's Prop 16
and $55 million restricted-pay-coaches
defeats.
3 Constant shots of coaches exceeded in obnoxiousness only by constant shots of
coaches'
wives.
4 Annoying xylophone ditty trumpeting scores ticker could drive a man to
murder.
5 Yes, I'd love to hear about your picks, if you'll listen to my many
boil-lancing stories.
6 Three this year, not counting Dick
Vitale.
7 Worldwide parachute shortage traced to Arkansas point
guard.
8 Precious soap-opera character names wear thin. Oh, Shane, it's not your
baby! It's
Trajan's!
9 Scrooges won't pay parents' expenses to watch sons play in tournament, despite
making millions off unpaid offspring.
10 Wally Szczerbiak's 43-point effort mere rumor to
viewers.
11 Country shamed by Final Four held in baseball
stadium.
12 Foisted Danny Ferry, Bobby Hurley, Christian Laettner on unsuspecting
NBA.
13 Press conference moderators forced to say "student-athlete" 413
times per game. (Exception:
Minnesota.)
14 Only school pretentious enough to film own timeout huddles to gauge
"nuances [of players'] body language fear, concentration." Right. Like
that's why they're
good.
15 Easy to recruit and win it all when 21 of your first 35 games are televised
nationally. Try it at Weber
State.
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