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Singles One-car operations won't compete for the CupPosted: Monday April 14, 2003 2:34 PM
Kevin of Norman, Okla., wrote to ask, "Can any of the single car teams seriously challenge for the points championship in the Winston Cup series? If so, then who are they?" Well, Kevin, that's a good question. Last week I briefly wrote about Ricky Craven, who is really the only routinely competitive single-car driver. First, a confession. I root for Craven. It all goes back to my early days at Sports Illustrated. We started doing an annual year-end NASCAR magazine, and to get the troops up to speed on NASCAR-related happenings I was charged with giving a report at our weekly Monday morning meeting. I figured the best way to inject a little levity into it was to pick an obscure driver and follow him. For some reason I chose Craven, who was driving for Rick Hendrick at the time. So the year goes on and Craven's inability to win, or even come close, became a running joke. (It reminded me of Bob Uecker's autobiography, in which he details how some college kids started a Bob Uecker fan club when he was a ridiculously mediocre player.) Now it's several years later and Craven is in what should be a much worse situation. He's not in the Hendrick stable, he's driving for a single-car team that has never been consistently successful, he's older, and he's now got a history of taking hard knocks to the head. So what does he do? He wins a couple of races (going back to last year) and he stays in the top 10 through the first quarter of the season. (It's also nice that he's won on two tracks where the driver plays a big role -- Martinsville and Darlington. You can't credit his win to having the best aero package or the best plate package.) So how can I not root for him? It's gratifying. In fact, when he got his first win I sent an e-mail to everyone still on staff who was at those meetings and got a kick out of his futility. But back to Kevin's question. The answer, sadly, is that a single-car team isn't going to win it all. There are too many obstacles. For starters, the multi-car teams are the ones with the best sponsors and most money (which is how they got that many cars in the first place). It's like the Yankees -- they're big because they're strong, and they're strong because they're big. Second, the information sharing is invaluable. Then there's the fact that they can spread their fixed costs across more than one team. And finally, it doesn't hurt to have a teammate on the track. It's easy to decry the dwindling influence of the single-car team, just as it was easy to decry the death of the owner/driver. But growth and progress bring about the occasional undesirable side effect. It's just a fact of life. They'll stick around, though, so anyone who loves an underdog will have someone to root for for a long time to come.
A.J. Foyt vs. NASCAR -- Memo to NASCAR: Don't mess with Texas. After Larry Foyt's qualifying time at Talladega was thrown out, his pops had a few choice words for NASCAR. "The deal they did to us at Talladega was a big [expletive]-off deal, so [expletive] them. I'm like Dale Earnhardt was when he was alive, those [expletive] plate races suck. NASCAR is so crooked. Whoever you are, I don't care what you say, if you can't see that, then you are blind."
In a scene reminiscent of a Monty Python sketch, Robert Yates Racing eliminated its Parrotts last week. Gone are brothers Brad and Todd, leaving Dale Jarrett's crew chief-less. Garth Finley and Richard Buck crew-chiefed the No. 88 on Sunday. As for long-term replacements, a couple names being mentioned are Robin Pemberton and Jimmy Makar, who worked with Jarrett when both were with Joe Gibbs. According to an unconfirmed rumor in Autoweek, the car NASCAR seized from Tony Stewart has been cut in half at the B-pillar and the front section was delivered to the team garage. It's just like in The Godfather, when the horse's head was chopped off and left in Jack Woltz's bed. What next? Your car is too low and you swim with the fishes.
An overwhelming number of questions dealt with professional wrestling, the Talladega yellow flag, prog rock or, in one memorable case -- that's you, Steve from Birmingham -- all three. Several of you have likened NASAR to a pro wrestling circuit that makes up the rules as it goes along. Several of you feel Junior got away with one at Talladega. And a disturbing number of you are Alan Parsons Project fans. You'll recall I asked you for your top album about machines of robots. My three suggestions were Styx (Kilroy Was Here), Radiohead (OK Computer) and the Flaming Lips (Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots). First, my pick. Hands down, it's OK Computer. What I like about it is that it's not overwhelmingly obvious that it's a concept album about machines. (The band even says it's not.) But if you pay attention, it's clear that most of the songs deal in some way with technology's encroachment on civilization. As for you guys, the Lips seemed to get the most votes, but the Alan Parsons Project's I Robot got several mentions, as did Deep Purple's Machine Head. The aforementioned Steve suggested the whole Karn Evil suite from ELP's Brain Salad Surgery. This came after he advanced an interesting conspiracy theory (namely, that before letting Junior illegally pass Matt "Mr. Roboto" Kenseth, NASCAR threw a bogus caution for debris to keep him from losing the lead draft). Then Steve asked, "Am I just a paranoid, conspiracy-theorizing, progressive rock-loving, race fan?" Yes, Steve, that's exactly what you are. But it's why we love you, and hope you write back whenever you feel the urge. The impeccably named Cosgrove Watt of Brooklyn, a self-confessed music geek and, perhaps, the only NASCAR fan in Brooklyn, offered up a slew of suggestions, including Stereolab, Neil Young and something called Flying Saucer Attack. He also says the worst concept album about machines is Pete Townshend's Iron Man, and he'll get no argument from me. The album is, as the Brits say, pants. Cosgrove's in a band, which I would love to hear about. Drop a line and let us know when and where you play, as well as what we can expect from you. Finally, the best question, hands down, comes from Pete in White Sulphur Springs, Mont., who asks: "Can you verify the rumor that Mike Helton will be naming Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf as Nascar's Director of Information as soon as he finishes his present gig doing stand-up in Baghdad?" Maybe the funniest thing I've ever been asked. I know war is a serious thing and al-Sahaf was the mouthpiece for a genocidal maniac, but that doesn't change the fact that he was a riot. Dale Leibach, of the strategic communications firm Prism Public Affairs told The Washington Post: "We need to bring him over here to practice his amazing public relations skills. He has taken our profession, such as it is, to a level that is as inexplicable as it is humbling. I would hire him in a nanosecond." Who will forget "My feelings -- as usual -- we will slaughter them all!" or "There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!" as footage of Americans in Baghdad filled the screen?
'Tis Easter. Have a happy one, and look for another column Monday. NASCAR's off, I'm not.
Mark Bechtel covers NASCAR for Sports Illustrated and SI.com.
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