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Fractured fairy tales Sixers' injury reports blown out of proportion
PHILADELPHIA -- Remember when a fracture used to mean something in the NBA? It entailed a stint on the injured list, a plaster cast and a chance to model that five-button designer suit on the bench. Not anymore. Not for the Sixers at least. For them, a fracture is a requirement just to enter the locker room. It's part of their travel bag, along with their PlayStation and two-way pager. If you don't have a fracture, you must not be trying.
Still, like the Spirit of '76, they keep marching on with their fife and drum. They have even managed to stay even with the mighty Lakers through the first two games of the NBA Finals. Forget the Larry O'Brien trophy. These guys should be awarded the Purple Heart. Unless, of course, this is all some sort of fractured fairy tale. Perhaps not all the Sixers have actual "fractures" but more like what's commonly called a "sprain" or a "hairline" break. Perhaps they are using an updated version of the NBA medical dictionary. Or maybe, as Game 3 spectator Bill Clinton might say, it depends on what their definition of is is. Clearly, Lynch and Mutombo have broken bones. With Snow and McKie, however, the Sixers have got to be using a liberal definition. Snow has played 59 minutes in the first two games, averaging 12.5 points and 4.5 assists, despite his two "stress fractures." McKie has played 91 minutes, averaging 11.5 points and 7.5 assists, with something team doctors called a "chip fracture." And here we thought Chip Fracture was the name of the Lakers' athletic performance coordinator. Oops, sorry, that's Chip Schaefer, who doesn't have any fractures to deal with on his team (except the personal relationship between Shaquille O'Neal and Kobe Bryant ). He did agree, however, that the word "fracture" covers a wide range of conditions, not just clean breaks. He even said so with a straight face. One can't help but wonder what Sixers president Pat Croce thinks when he hears about all these fractures on his club. Two years ago, a serious motorcycle accident left him with a shattered tibia in his left leg and a foot that was nearly torn off from his ankle. He had to undergo five operations and months of rehab just to walk without crutches. Don't get me wrong. The Sixers are tougher than a $2 cheesesteak. They have as fierce a will to win as any hoops team in recent memory. They deserve credit for playing hurt. In fact, I'd love to write more about how gritty they are, but I can't. I just jammed my thumb hitting the return key on my laptop. Who knows? It might even be fractured. Marty Burns covers pro basketball for CNNSI.com. Click here to send Marty a question or comment.
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