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21st annual Mikey Awards
Updated: Saturday January 06, 2001 6:21 PM
Due to breaking news last week -- a story about the possible consolidation of Major League Soccer -- the coveted Mikey Awards were forced to be a week late. The 21st annual edition honors and singles out those players, coaches and teams for some of the most unusual and dubious achievements of the past year -- domestic and international. Hmmm. Think of it -- the 21st edition of anything. Wow! Whoever thought something in American soccer would actually last that long? And, the overworked awards committee, demonstrating it can keep up with the times and current events, even instituted a few modern honors, including the Hanging Chad Award. So, without further delay, presenting the 2001 Mikeys: Coaches of the Year: Uralan Elista of the Russian premier division had three coaches in the month of May -- Alexander Irkhin, Valdmir Dergach and Alexander Averyanov.
Scrooge of the Year: To French first division club Metz, which sacked coach Joel Muller after 11 years only two days after Christmas. Hello, I Must Be Going Award: Domestic award to former Indiana Blast coach Brett Hall, who recently resigned due to personal reasons after not coaching a match. Ian Martin took his place. International honors to Ion Craciunescu, who resigned after only one day as president of Craiova of the Romanian first division. Coward of the Year: To England coach Kevin Keegan, who decided to step down after his team dropped a 1-0 home decision to hated arch-rival Germany in the last game at the old Wembley Stadium. Feud of the Year: Between Tampa Bay Mutiny general manager Bill Manning and former Mutiny coach Tim Hankinson. Hankinson did not like the fact Manning dealt away Raul Diaz Arce to D.C. United without consulting him, sparking a rift that eventually led to his firing. Survivor of the Year: To three MLS coaches -- San Jose's Lothar Osiander (7-17-8), D.C.'s Thomas Rongen (8-18-6) and Columbus's Tom Fitzgerald (11-16-5), who have jobs despite having a number of their colleagues bounced with better records. Owner of the Year: To Brian Biffle, part owner of the Boulder Nova (United Soccer League) who came off the bench and scored twice (the second one in the 90th minute) in his team's 2-1 comeback win over the Colorado Springs Ascent. Goal of the Year: By the Mutiny's Ritchie Kotschau, who wasn't even trying to shoot against the San Jose Earthquakes in August. His misdirected left-wing cross fooled goalkeeper Joe Cannon and found its way into the corner for a goal. Own Goal of the Year: By Germany's Tina Wunderlich, who headed the ball into her own net in the 80th minute, which lifted Norway to a stunning 1-0 victory in the women's Olympic semifinals. Wunderlich was so crushed at the end of the match, she needed to be helped off the field by coach Tina Theune-Meyer. Goalkeeper's Goal of the Year: By Sao Paulo goalkeeper Rogerio Ceni, who scored off a free kick to help his team to a 1-1 tie against Internactional in Brazil in October. It was Ceni's 19th goal of his club career. The Gang That's Couldn't Shoot Straight Award: First place to the Dutch national team, which missed two penalty kicks during a scoreless regulation and converted only one during the tie-breaker as Italy prevailed 3-1 in the Euro 2000 semifinals. Second place to the Mutiny, which converted only three kicks in eight opportunities. Ring Around the Collar Award: In the domestic category, first place to D.C. United, whose decision to wear its third-choice shirts, which were white and the same as the visiting MetroStars, forced a kickoff to be moved back 33 minutes by referee Marcel Yonan. Compounding matters was the fact United's usual home jerseys were at their Herndon, Va., offices and the person dispatched the retrieve them wound up in a traffic jam. Second place to University of Connecticut defender Chris Gbandi, who displayed a Superman shirt under his team jersey after scoring a goal in the Division I men's championship match. In the MetroStars category, first place to MetroStars defender Mike Petke, whose famous "Crime of the Century, Revenge is Coming" shirt about the Mamadou Diallo-Mike Ammann incident earned him a $250 fine from MLS. Second place to MetroStars midfielder Petter Villegas, who went from his No. 11 to No. 14 (teammate Adolfo Valencia also was wearing that number) back to No. 11 (even if his last name had only one "l" on this one). Third place to MetroStars forward Clint Mathis, who celebrated his goals by ripping off his game jersey to reveal a "I Love NY" shirt underneath after his acquisition from the L.A. Galaxy. First place international honors to Parma goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon, who said he would change his uniform number (88) to end allegations that he has neo-Nazi sympathies. The Italian Maccabi Association claimed the number is used by neo-Nazi groups to signify Heil Hitler, as H is the eighth letter of the alphabet. Second place goes to Japanese goalkeeper Seigo Narazaki, whose yellow and black shirt had a surprising red hue added to it after he suffered a severe bloody nose from a collision with a teammate in the men's Olympic quarterfinals vs. the U.S. Ring Around the Bottom Award: To the Taliban religious police, who interrupted a soccer game in Kandahar, Afghanistan, and started a fan stampede as they arrested 12 Pakistani players for wearing shorts. The players were arrested because they violated the Islamic dress code. Take My Armband, Please Award: To MetroStars defender Lothar Matthäus, who was so frustrated by a non-call by the referee that he flung his armband at assistant referee Chip Reed in Kansas City's victory in April. To make matters worse, Lothar complained and talked to Reed while action continued behind his back. Life's a Beach Award: To Lothar, whose photo of himself and girlfriend on a St. Tropez beach found itself on the front page of the German daily tabloid Bild when he was supposed to be receiving treatment for an injury. Hat Trick of the Year: First place to U.S. women's forward Tiffeny Milbrett, who hit the right post, crossbar and finally the left post in a 2-0 opening round win over Norway in the Olympics. Yes, she eventually managed to find the back of the net. Second place to three Brazilian players -- Simone, Juliana and Formiga, who were awarded yellow cards for tackling Mia Hamm in the women's finals. Third place to Miami Fusion forward Roy Lassiter, who somehow missed three sitters in a 4-2 loss to the MetroStars. Honorable mention to the Kansas City Wizards' foreigners Miklos Molnar, Mo Johnston and Alex Bunbury, who announced their retirement only minutes after capturing MLS Cup. And You Can Quote Me Award: To Miami Fusion coach Ray Hudson, who described his team's shooting against the MetroStars that day: "I just want to vomit. It was finger-down-the-throat finishing... They were a nervous wreck out there. We were hosing them in their own backyard. They dodged bullets the size of howitzers and they still had enough to come back and cut our heads off." Comeback of the Year: To Kansas City midfielder Kerry Zavagnin, who took a self-imposed exile to the A-League for one season for another shot at MLS. It worked: he became a regular on the MLS champions and now is a member of the U.S. national team pool. Hanging Chad Award: To FIFA for messing up its own online election. Soccer's worldwide governing body had fans vote for players of the century in the men's and women's categories until it noticed the vote totals were leaning toward Diego Maradona (men) and Sun Wen (women), instead of the more preferred Pele and Michelle Akers, respectively. They made new awards to honor Pele and Akers, who should have won via balloting in the first place. Diego Maradona Class Act of the Year Award: Again to Maradona for leaving the auditorium before Pele received his award in Rome and then continuing a war of words that should never have been started. Will he ever learn? Probably not. Justice is Blind Award: To Jamaican referee Peter Prendergast, who had the audacity to call a handball and a subsequent penalty kick on U.S. defender Gregg Berhalter during stoppage time of what turned out to be a 2-1 loss to Costa Rica in a World Cup qualifier. Tower of Babel Award: To Chelsea coach Claudio Ranieri, an Italian, who admitted that he was hindered by his inability to make himself understood during practice with the English Premiership club. The team includes players from Uruguay, the Netherlands, France, Croatia, Norway, and oh yes, even England. Golden Shin Guard Award: To Miami Fusion forward Diego Serna, who fouled players a league-high 83 times. Greg Louganis Award: To Serna, who was fouled a league-high four times in the penalty area to set up as many penalty kicks. Fickle Finger of Fate Award: To Yugoslav goalkeeper Goran Curko, who was released by Arminia Bielefeld of the German second division on Oct. 24 after he made an obscene gesture as he left the field after a scoreless tie with Waldhof Mannheim. Hey, Hey, Hey, It's The Fat Albert Award: To former New England Revolution forward Eduardo Hurtado, who reported to training camp seemingly a ton overweight and never was effective before he was transferred to a club in his native Ecuador. Hey, Einstein Award: First place to U.S. national team player Frankie Hejduk, who took a Costa Rican player down in the penalty area in the waning minutes of a World Cup qualifier, though there was no penalty called. Several minutes later referee, Peter Prendergast's make-up call decided the match. Second place to Genk goalkeeper Jan Moons, who missed an opportunity to sit on the bench for Belgium's World Cup qualifier against Latvia in October because his passport had expired. Two-Timer of the Year Award: To Paul Grafer, who started in goal for two teams -- the MetroStars (MLS) and Long Island Rough Riders (A-League) -- at the same time after the MLS had to call him up after running into serious goalkeeping problems. Boomerang Award: To AS Roma defender Antonio Carlos Zago, whose appeal of a three-match an for spitting at an opponent was rejected, and was instead increased to four games by UEFA. Frivolous Lawsuit of the Year: By Turin magistrates, who pursued a lawsuit investigating a 1998 decision by a referee to deny Brazilian striker Ronaldo a penalty kick against Juventus. Juve won 1-0, ending Inter's title hopes. Fortunately, a Turin judge decided not to hear the case. (Un)Fair Play Award: To Los Angeles Galaxy forward Luis Hernandez, who received a five-match suspension from the 2001 Lamar Hunt/U.S. Open Cup for kicking Chicago Fire midfielder Peter Nowak in the face in an Open Cup game. CNNSI.com Fair Play Award: To Miklos Temesvari, coach of Albanian champion SK Tirana, who fined himself for being late for practice after he instituted the rules for players. Sorry, there was information on the amount he was fined. Swami of the Year: To yours truly, who eerily predicted several results right on the money in 2000. The big scores included the United States' 1-1 World Cup qualifying draw in Guatemala and its 2-1 qualifying loss in Costa Rica, the men's Olympic team getting past Japan via penalty kicks in the quarterfinals, and the American women losing to Norway in the gold-medal match. But we'll forget about selecting the Chicago Fire over the Wizards 2-0 in the MLS Cup final, OK? Michael Lewis covers soccer for the New York Daily News. He is the author of three books on soccer.
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