|
|
 |
 |   |
|
EVENTS Fantasy Central Inside Game Video Plus Statitudes Your Turn Message Boards Email Newsletters Golf Guide Cities 
CNNSI.com GROUP
COMMERCE
|  |
Soccer sweeps Coming soon to a television near you
It's early March, a week after sweeps has ended and guess what yours truly uncovered? A month's worth of television programs that somehow did not make it onto the air in February. And not surprisingly, they all have a relevant soccer theme. You tell me if these shows deserved to be televised: Survivor III (Adventure) -- In the latest of soccer reality shows, the leading Major League Soccer goalkeepers are marooned on an island in the middle of nowhere. There, they must find a way to survive against a raging Tampa Bay Mutiny forward. Starring Mike Ammann, Tony Meola, Scott Garlick, Zach Thornton and "Big Mama" Mamadou Diallo as themselves. Ally McBeal (part drama, part comedy, potential tragedy) -- Major League Soccer hooks up with a Boston law firm in order to save itself from the evil clutches of the NFL-backed MLS Players Association. Complicating the antitrust trial and other matters, however, is Ally's sexual pre-occupation with one of the league's executives and a player association attorney.
The Fugitive (Drama) -- Desperately trying to flee authorities, Dr. Richard Kimble learns about a perfect place to hide -- an overseas haven where Americans can disappear into thin air -- the Bayer Leverkusen soccer team in Germany. Guest starring Landon Donovan and Frankie Hejduk. The Commish (Drama) -- Walk the mean streets of MLS with commissioner Don Garber as he fights the never-ending battle against sagging attendance, underachieving foreigners and league-run franchises, searching for truth, justice and the American way. This week's challenge: The commish tries to solve the mystery of when both Miami Fusion fans were kidnapped. Soccer's Bloopers, Blunders and Other Embarrassing Feats (Comic tragedy) -- No, it's not a highlight reel for last year's D.C. United side. This program celebrates the sport's forgettable bumbling moments such as own goals, back passes, handballs and Eduardo Hurtado shooting at the goal. FIFA Golden Globe Awards (Controversy and confusion) -- In voting done by partisan fans on the Internet, which player do you think will win the organization's player of the week award? Luis Figo? Raul? Ronaldo? Or Diego Maradona? Galaxy Quest II -- Against All Odds (Action and adventure movie) -- Coach of the MLS Los Angeles Galaxy Sigi (Never give up, never surrender) Schmid leads his ragtag pro soccer team (a former U.S. international and broadcaster who comes out of retirement and a marginal defender who plays forward) against the giants of CONCACAF and into the FIFA Club World Championship in Spain. The last 15 minutes of this fantasy movie rivals the glorious, waning moments of that World War II classic film starring Sylvester Stallone, Victory. Also, watch for the summer sequel: Galaxy Quest III: Reigning In Spain. The Lone Gunmen (Paranoid comedy) -- Several newspaper and magazine geek writers investigate the single-entity process, unusual player drafts that pop up out of nowhere and mysterious trades, deals and transfers, plus other soccer conspiracies and plots in this new series by the creator of the X-Files. Starring Grant Wahl, Jeff Bradley and Grahame Jones and Michael Lewis. An American Were-Wolff in London (Feature film) -- While playing for Tottenham Hotspur, an up-and-coming U.S.-born forward from Stone Mountain, Ga. is accidentally bitten by a werewolf and becomes a great scoring sensation -- but only under a full moon. Soccer Saturday Night Live (comedy) -- Another laugh-a-minute from former MLS star Andrew Shue and those Not-Ready-for-Premiership Players. This week's host, John Harkes, and the rest of the zany team spoofs soccer bashers, among other skits. And don't forget the hilarious weekend update ("I'm Alexi Lalas and you're not") along with a cameo appearance by Rob Stone. Fear and Lotharing on the Campaign Trail (Tragedy) -- A solemn documentary on the unfortunate and tragic tenure of former German World Cup captain Lothar Matthäus in MLS, which threatened to send the MetroStars into chaos. Special behind-the-scenes footage of Lothar's Trump Towers apartment and him yelling at his teammates in the locker room, throwing his captain's armband at a linesman and living with the beautiful people on a St. Tropez beach last summer. Soccer's Celebrity Death Match (Animated) -- In an effort to end all feuds for once and for all, this anything-goes wrestling match will decide who lives and who doesn't. This week's intriguing matchup: Pele vs. Diego Maradona at the FIFA gala award ceremony instead of a ring. Next week: FIFA president Sepp Blatter vs. UEFA president Lennart Johansson for control of the soccer world! Friends (comedy) -- A rip-roaring comedy about six young soccer players -- three men and three women -- fresh out of school who are forced to live together because of their embarrassingly low salaries. Tonight's episode: Monica thinks she's pregnant as she tries to figure out who the father is. Soccer for Dummies (Comedy movie) -- A befuddled new soccer coach attempts to coach his daughter's soccer team for the first time. It looks like a total disaster -- yes, even worse than the U.S. national team's last-place finish at the 1998 World Cup -- until he gets a hold of this magic book with all the answers. Michael Lewis covers soccer for the New York Daily News. He also has written three books about soccer.
| |||||||||||||||||||||
