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A sobering story Renewed and revitalized at 28, Collins finally comes clean
Updated: Monday January 22, 2001 11:01 PM
TAMPA, Fla. -- In one of the most remarkable news conferences in Super Bowl history, reformed New York Giants quarterback Kerry Collins on Monday night opened a vein and bled in front of America. Collins, the 28-year-old unlikely hero of an even more unlikely run to the Super Bowl by the Giants, confirmed that he used a racial epithet while in a drunken state in Carolina three years ago. He spoke of how alcohol nearly ruined his life. And he spoke of how he has gained humility by admitting his many weaknesses as a player and as a person. It was as though Collins walked into a confessional and said: "Bless me, media. For I have sinned." Humility is not always a strong suit with athletes, Collins told the assembled national press in a 35-minute news conference designed to answer all of the questions about his personal life once and for all. "One of the things I had to do in my life was to get humble," he said. "I had to admit that I can't control alcohol. I got to the point where I knew that alcohol would eventually kill me or I would end up in jail." Collins was ordered into rehab for alcohol problems after his DUI arrest while a member of the New Orleans Saints in November 1998. After that season, he said he entered alcohol rehabilitation two weeks earlier and soon realized that he had to admit that he was powerless over alcohol's influence in his life.
He discussed his most celebrated problem and admitted that his use of a derogatory racial term toward a teammate was the result of a drunken binge on the last day of Carolina Panthers training camp in 1997. As he did throughout his cleansing series of admissions, Collins was remarkably self-deprecating and full of remorse over a past he finally can confront without alcohol as a crutch. As the Panthers prepared to break camp in his last year in Carolina, Collins said he was "very intoxicated. There was a lot of celebrating going on in the dorms. I used a term not meant to be [derogatory.] I was trying to be a funny guy. In my polluted, chemically-altered mind I believed it would bring a sense of camaraderie to us." The next day, Collins learned that his attempt to be one of the boys with at least African-American member of the Panthers had struck a damaging nerve. The Panthers' head coach, Dom Capers , called him on the carpet for it and there were hard feelings throughout the team. "I regret the incident," Collins said. "I wish it never would have happened. That incident gave me a tag that really hurt me." His failed trial with New Orleans later that season included an arrest for drunken driving after a Saints game, coincidentally in Charlotte. And it led the way to the NFL ordering him to undergo rehabilitation. "When I went to rehab," Collins said, "I checked Kerry Collins the football player at the door. I took a long, hard look at myself. I found alcohol fueled the fire of a lot of my problems. I used it as a rebellious tool. It was like, by drinking, I said, 'I'll show you. I'll hurt me.'" Collins also tried to explain the fateful day in 1998 when he allegedly quit the Panthers, asking out of the starting lineup and forcing the team to release him. He said he never intended to quit the team, apparently he only intended to ask out of the lineup for a short period. But Capers interpreted his remarks as those of a quitter and he was summarily released.
"I never intended to quit the team," Collins said. "I intended to discuss the situation with him. I was at a time in my life where I was confused about a lot of things." Drafted fifth overall by the expansion Panthers in 1995, he immediately showed an immature side by missing the final day of an early Carolina minicamp and phoning Capers with this explanation for his absence: "Coach, I can't take the pressure." After his star-crossed three-and-a-half years in Carolina, Collins had an unceremonious two-month tenure with the Saints. New Orleans chose not to re-sign him after the 1998 season. Most NFL observers were stunned when Giants general manager Ernie Accorsi rewarded Collins four-year, $16.9 million contract. First of all, the Giants had no spirited competition for the troubled Collins and so their $5 million signing bonus seemed highly excessive. But Accorsi met with Collins privately before signing him and got assurances that Collins was serious about his rehab for alcohol abuse and Accorsi was also heartened by the reports he got from Penn State sources about Collins the person. "Any time you make a decision," said Accorsi, "you take a risk. But I knew the people I was talking to really knew Kerry. And once I met with Kerry I immediately trusted him and liked him. And I knew he was serious." Collins responded to the Giants' faith in him this season with the finest season of his six-year career, completing a career-high 58.8 percent of his throws for 3,610 yards, 22 touchdowns and 13 interceptions. Collins led the Giants to a 12-4 regular-season finish. His masterful performance against in the NFC Championship Game (23-39, 381 yards, five touchdowns and two interceptions) keyed a 41-0 Giants win. In the biggest game of Collins' life, he played the best game of his life. "I more indebted to [the Giants] for their faith in me than anything on the earth," Collins said to the media throng. "My whole motivation is to repay them." Last night, Giants head coach Jim Fassel said Collins' performance in the title game answered any question any could have about Collins. "Kerry Collins took the New York Giants to the Super Bowl," Fassel said last night. "But that's not the success story here. The success story is Kerry Collins himself. When we were about to sign him, I knew the guy had tremendous talent. I was convinced the guy was going to make a change in his life. The one factor I didn't know was how coachable he would be. He's been very coachable. The Kerry Collins I know is an outstanding young man. I've seen his self-esteem grow every day." Collins also spoke of the rocky relationship with his Pennsylvania family. When he was 14, his father moved him to the school district of a state football power, creating a chasm in the family that still has not healed. "That sent a couple of messages to me," Collins said. "One, football is more important than anything. Two, if everything works out in football, everything will be all right in life. That obviously wasn't true with me." Collins paused for a minute and considered his past and his future. "I encourage parents to let their children choose their own path. I won't make the same mistake with my children that was made with me." Now his confession was nearing an end. An NFL public-relations representative asked Collins if he'd had enough. Collins said that he was fine, that he could go on a few more minutes. Cleansing, at least on this night, was very good for the soul. "I'm human," Collins said. "I have human frailties and weaknesses. I screwed up the first part of my life. I look back now and I realize alcohol was making me miss out on life itself." Not anymore. The Collins who faced the press mob looks very unlikely to lapse into the Collins of old. That's a good sign for the Giants this Sunday and for the long-term future.
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