Early to rise

Buccaneers' Gruden sticking with script for success

CELEBRATION, Fla. -- Friday, 5 a.m., Celebration Hotel, suite of Tampa Bay head coach Jon Gruden, rumpled bed 12 feet away. It looks moderately slept in, but the covers are barely disturbed over the bottom half of the bed. A good night's sleep was not had in this bed in Celebration.

REALITY INTERLUDE:

Can you believe someone named a town "Celebration?" And there's a school here, named after the town. Can you imagine going to Florida State someday and telling your roommate, "I'm from Celebration?" I mean, if that was me, I'd respond, "Now, really. Where're you from?" What's the next Disney company town? Giddy, Fla.? Feelin' Groovy, Fla.?

END OF REALITY INTERLUDE.

"Peter King," Gruden rasps, sort of looking up from his wide-screen-TV-size computer screen where he's typing in the script for the Bucs' morning practice. "The setup's a little different from California, but we're back at it, man."

List of the week Training Camp All-Star Food, or my favorite training camp foods/drinks during the past two weeks:  1. Grilled salmon (Cleveland Browns, Berea, Ohio). Moist, pure, perfectly grilled fish, with a medley of fresh steamed long-stemmed broccoli, green beans, baby carrots and asparagus. I challenge a San Diego eatery to do this dish better.  2. Low-fat fresh chocolate-and-banana smoothie, made in a blender (Browns). A marginally healthy taste sensation.  3. Tossed salad (New York Giants, Albany, N.Y.) Iceberg, romaine, leaf, baby carrots, sliced cukes, cauliflower and Newman's own balsamic vinegar dressing. Instant health.  4. Chicken breast in a light Alfredo sauce (Dallas Cowboys, San Antonio Marriott Riverwalk). Over moist brown wild rice. Talk about hitting the spot. Perfect.  5. Chicken fajitas (Denver Broncos, Greeley, Colo.) With spicy chicken, salsa, shredded cheddar cheese, diced tomatoes. You just do not beat this lunch, unless it's with the aforementioned salmon.  6. A South Carolina peach (Atlanta Falcons, Greenville, S.C.). A juicy peach of a peach.  7. Vanilla peanut butter ice cream in a bowl (Washington Redskins, Carlisle, Pa.). Incredibly creamy, from a local creamery."  8. Grande latte (St. Louis Rams, Macomb, Ill.) Espresso machine at Ram Camp! Keep King out!  9. The Bednarik (roast beef, turkey, spicy brown mustard, onion, on French bread. (Deja Brew, outside Eagles camp in Bethlehem, Pa., home of Chuck Bednarik.) There is nothing like a great sandwich for lunch. And this is a great sandwich.]   10. Fresh raspberries (Rams). In a store, a bowl of these babies would be about $3.49.

I visited Gruden a couple of summer mornings in Napa, Calif., site of Raiders camp, around this obscene hour (once, it was 4 a.m.) because you can see him in his element. He tells stories about his team that you're probably not going to get in the post-practice sessions he does. And so here he is, in this very strange hotel with the two Osceola County sheriff's cars standing watch at the front of the hotel, in this prefab town that looks just like a movie set with perfect houses that look barely lived-in and shops that look like they all opened yesterday.

"What a weird setting," I say. "Looks like a ... a ..."

"Sort of looks like the movie with that Carrey guy," he says. "Jim Carrey?"

"The Truman Show," I say.

"Yeah," he says. "Different kind of training camp. Some of the guys get taped here, some over at the field. We've got to time everything out. The players have to get in vans and ride 15 minutes. But it's great. Great guys. Great coaches. Still getting know everybody, but I'm really loving it."

Gruden spews quick hits between hunting and pecking the plays on the screen and spitting the spit from that bad chew into a coffee cup. One after one they come out.

On the overexcited kicker, Martin Gramatica: "I high-fived him the other day on an extra point. 'Mar-TEEN, thatta baby!' So he's emotional. What the hell. It's good. You only live once."

On his quarterback competition: "Brad Johnson's our starter. Veteran guy. Quarterbacked in different systems and been productive. I really like him. Rob Johnson, I'm pretty tough on him. I don't think he likes it. I'll say, 'What the ---- you doin' out there, California dreamin'?' ... We expect Brad to play well. However, the other two guys [Rob and Shaun King] aren't here to watch. You think I bring in Terrell Buckley and Lomas Brown only to watch? You're nuts. This football team, I run it the American way. In America, you get what you deserve. So will the guys in this camp.''

On his quiet receiver, Joe Jurevicius: "The guy does not talk. I say, 'You like this play?' He goes, 'Mmm-hmm.' I go, 'You like that play?' 'Mmm-hmm.' I think I'll put him and [defensive tackle Booger] McFarland in the same room. They would not say a word, no matter how long they stayed in there."

On Keyshawn Johnson: "Sometimes, I see a pass going out of bounds, and out of nowhere this big crane comes and grabs the ball just before it goes out. That's what Keyshawn's arms are like, some big crane."

On his coaching staff: "[Defensive coordinator] Monte Kiffin's my idol. God, can he coach. I love the way these guys grind out there. Sometimes I close my eyes out there and I hear nine guys coaching their ass off. What a beautiful sound. Man, that's my fantasy world."

On his defensive tackles, Warren Sapp and McFarland: "Warren McFarland. Same guy. Great players. Great energy."

On leaving the Raiders: "Everything happens for a reason. I had a great time in California, just like I enjoyed Philly -- I love south Joisey -- and Green Bay and San Francisco. But I loved those guys out there [with the Raiders]. I'll learn to love these guys now. Hey, before we know it, life is over."

[If I could guess at a loose translation of that, I'd guess he means he's not going to talk specifically about the Raiders, or about Al Davis, and before we know it, life is over Or something. Funny, too: He never said "Raiders" in our time together.]

On his pedigree: "I might be young, but I've been around some of the very best ever in this game. John McVay. Ron Wolf. Al Davis. Mike Holmgren. Jeff Lurie, a fired-up young owner who got a new facility and stadium built. I've learned a lot about how the game works, and how to win."

And so it went, an hour of it and he still wasn't done with the script. As I rose to leave, he told me: "Take a visor and wear it out there. You'll need it."

"Nah, I'm OK."

"Take a visor!"

"I'm not wearing a Bucs' visor out to practice," I say. "I'm neutral. I'm Switzerland."

I don't think he heard me at this end. His eyes were glued to the script.

One way to get to Rams camp is to fly into Peoria, rent a car, and drive 71 miles to the western Illinois town of Macomb. That's not the factoid. This is: Between Peoria and Macomb are the towns of Havana and Cuba.

1. I think this is why the Chicago Bears, Chicago Bears fans and national media really like Mike Brown, the Bears' Pro Bowl safety. He broke his hand last week at practice, an injury that likely will keep him out for a month or so. But he said there's no way he'll miss the start of the season. "It's just a hand. I could probably cut it off and still play. I don’t see it being a problem at all," opined Brown. I suppose he was kidding.

2. I think one of the great public services for fans this weekend was ESPN Radio re-playing each Hall of Fame introductory speech and inductees' speech. They were so great to hear, particularly Jim Kelly's. Every time I hear Kelly's portion about his gravely ill son Hunter, I tear up. I don't know how you can be human and not get emotional listening to him. What a gas Kelly was. A big kid who loved the game, a big jock. I'll never forget having a few beers one Friday night with Bills PR czar Scott Berchtold in a Fredonia, N.Y., bar, and about 75 minutes before the 11 p.m. curfew, Kelly, Bruce Smith, Thurman Thomas and a few mates came in to pound a few. Kelly could drink as fast as any human being I've known, and when Berchtold coaxed him out of the place at about 10:53, we wobbled back to the players' dorm. Kelly was having a great time, asking about league stuff and hollering at sleepy Fredonia. "What a big kid," I told Berchtold that night. It's one of the things that made Kelly so good. It was a game to him, not a big business. I'll never forget talking to him a couple of months after the Bills' fourth Super Bowl loss. I asked if the incredibly hurtful losses made him ever think of retiring. "Are you kidding?" he said. "I love this game. I love it every day. There's nothing else I'd rather do. Just because you lose a game doesn't mean your love for the game goes down." Well said.

a. Memo to Mel Kiper: You say Art Monk should be a lock for the Hall of Fame, and you say you can't figure a single reason why he hasn't been voted in. I'm a voter. Here's why: Monk played 16 NFL seasons. He was All-Pro twice. He led his team in receiving six times in 16 seasons. I covered the Giants in the mid-‘80s, and they respected Gary Clark and feared Clark far more than Monk. Yes, he caught more than 900 balls. In 10 years, he'll be about 15th on the all-time receptions list. Classy guy, wonderful person off the field -- but neither of those things can be factored in when we consider qualification for induction. Monk belongs in the Hall of Very Good, not the Hall of Fame.

b. For all of you who think there are so many deserving players not yet in the Hall, rest easy. There are enough new voters, young guys who aren't as selective in the voting process, to ensure that the classes are going to be chock-full of candidates who've been close but haven't made it over the years. Last year, John Stallworth, Ron Yary and Jack Youngblood -- who'd been through 37 years, collectively, of being turned down -- all got in. My opinion is that softer isn't better, but I'm just one of 38.

3. I think these are my personal thoughts of the week, some related to my odyssey:

a. There is only one thing about flying that I really don't like. I mean, really don't like. That's when my travel takes me around the Rockies. No matter if the USA TODAY weather map says it's going to be a gorgeous day in Colorado, once you get within 100 miles of Denver, you've got a very good chance to be a human Ping-Pong ball.

b. Coffeenerdness: At Rams camp, as I mentioned, a wonderful woman named Beth is in charge of all things coffee. There's an espresso machine, with Starbucks products on board. I saw the giant bottle of white chocolate mocha syrup beneath the machine, which is the first stop in the Rams meal line. I asked Beth first if she could make a large latte. It was so authentic and so good that I went back. I asked if she could make me a large white mocha. She thought for a minute, said she could and proceeded to make me one of the best white mochas in the history of mankind. "I bet not many camps have a built-in Starbucks," PR czar Rick Smith said. You're the first, Rick. It'll keep me coming back to Macomb.

c. Red Sox get Cliff Floyd. I am shocked, pleased, hopeful and now more certain than ever that the postseason will not be played.

d. Sex and the City must be a girl thing. I think it's vastly overrated.

e. Nice move, St. Louis Post Dispatch, hiring Bryan Burwell as a columnist. Excellent one-two punch, Bernie Miklasz and Burwell.

f. All of this happened last Thursday, when I flew four segments on the nuttiest travel day of the training camp trip, Cleveland to Chicago, Chicago to Peoria, (later in the day) Peoria to Atlanta, Atlanta to Orlando: I walked through security at Cleveland Airport. The security officer with the wand near the back of the X-ray machine asked me to undergo a special screening with the wand. I did, and took my shoes off for him. Flew to Chicago. Changed planes. At the gate for the flight to Peoria, I was wanded again, and my bags checked thoroughly. Later in the day, when I went through security at Peoria before flying to Atlanta, the guy near the back of the X-ray machine said, "Sir, step over here, please. May I use the wand on you?" Yes, I said. And he proceeded to wand me, paying extra attention to my shoes. In Atlanta, nothing ... except missing a plane because of a thunderstorm. And that, for you who do not travel, is what the state of getting from here to there is like in America today.

g. Mets, 55-55. Now there's one I'll never figure out.

h. Montclair (N.J.) Field Hockey Note of the Week: Some of the girls, including junior-to-be right wing Mary Beth King (with her softball-caused cast off the broken right forearm), at the Nike Camp at Fairfield University in Connecticut this week. She called Sunday. Three sessions a day, 95ish degrees, no air-conditioning anywhere. She's dying, but reports that the camp is really good. Her arm hurts. But she's back at it, baby.

4. I think, somehow, the Kansas City offensive linemen will exact revenge on Eddie Freeman, the rookie defensive tackle who swung a helmet at offensive tackle John Tait so viciously that Tait was badly cut in the face, took 17 stitches and will be out for two weeks. Mike Martz told me of a player, Darryl Ashmore, who was cut after he cheap-shotted a teammate in a camp fight because his angry mates were plotting a serious form of revenge. Freeman picked on the wrong guy, the well-liked Tait, but that's not the big deal. The big deal is that you can't fight dirty in camp fights; you can't do the equivalent of whacking a guy with a tire iron on the street and hope that everyone just forgets it the next day.

5. I think I love Jeremy Shockey sticking up for himself and coming to blows with Brandon Short in the cafeteria on his first day as a Giant. He's not going to take crap from anybody. Reminds me of a young Jessie Armstead, an eighth-round pick who told his teammates right away that they weren't going to mess with him. Seems they took Armstead out with some of the rookies one night to get drunk, and Armstead said no, thanks. That wasn't the right answer. But Armstead didn't care. He wasn't drinking. He ordered the vets to not mess with him, they tried -- and they failed.

6. I think if I were Jim Haslett, and I were trying to figure out what was best for my future, I would think very, very hard about signing a long-term deal in New Orleans. Now, if Tom Benson wants to commit $3 million a year to Haslett -- which is what he's about to do -- and I'm Haslett, the only way I'd sign is to do it before the season starts. Because this Saints team, despite being in a relatively soft NFC South, could get off to a horrendous start (opening five games: at Tampa, Green Bay, at Chicago, at Detroit, Pittsburgh), and Benson's the type of emotional owner who will start questioning everything in the organization if the Saints start something like 1-4. The cap is quasi-screwed up, the quarterback's ticked off because he's so poorly paid, the running game's a question mark and the big offseason free-agent acquisition (Dale Carter) is under NFL suspension because of substance abuse -- probably for the year. If Benson doesn't do the deal before the season starts, my bet is it doesn't get done. If he does, it's probably the best thing for Haslett, because he'll get his money if Benson flies off the handle and fires him in the next couple of years.

7. I think I met a kindred spirit Saturday at Eagles camp. I was talking with cornerback Troy Vincent, one of the game's very good players and guys, and I saw him with an Ace bandage, holding a large ice bag to his left hammy. I told Vincent I pulled mine in a softball game, trying to beat out an infield hit 20 days prior to our meeting, and I showed him the grotesque black-and-blues on the back of my left leg. He strained his in an early Eagles practice in camp, and he's been nursing it back to health. I told him how incredibly painful it was when it happened -- my orthopedist said it's a partial tear, and it will be three months before I'm comfortable running again -- and I told him how I couldn't even slowly jog yet. "Now you know how those things feel!" he said. "It's amazing. You strain your hamstring, and you tell the coaches you're not right, and sometimes the coaches and the fans look at you like, 'Why are you not practicing?' They don't see the injury. But it affects everything. Now you'll have a real appreciation for what we go through when we say we've got a hamstring." The other day, I was at the Philly airport, and I had to hustle across a busy street to get my rental car, and I took one jogging step, and I said, "Whoa ... hold it right there. Walk quickly. Do not jog."

8. I think these are five players I have increased admiration for after the second week of my camp trip: