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If I ran the show ...
While I know that Ty Votaw's position as LPGA commissioner is not to be envied, I would really savor the chance to have the job. Maybe not on a full-time basis, because then I would never get to write any of these hard-hitting columns, but Commissioner for the Week has a nice ring to it.
On the second day, I would scrap the current ad campaign. You know, that one with players' childhood pictures and the sentimental music Thank Heaven for Little Girls. I think it's positively amazing that this promotion, which could be appealing only to the blue-haired set, was ever approved. I agree with Laura Diaz: This is the 20th century and sex sells. So let's show some skin and hopefully pack the house. Heck, if they want the caddies to reveal a little more, I'd volunteer because skin is something I have plenty of. On the third day, I would hire Janet Reno to market the tour in Florida. I'm not expecting her to beat Jeb Bush for the governor's seat, and the tour could use a few events in the Sunshine State. It's mind-boggling that next year the LPGA could possibly not have a single full-field event in what most consider one of the golf meccas of the world. Maybe Reno could storm into Miami in the middle of the night and steal away some of the PGA Tour's sponsors. On the fourth day, I would pardon Jane Blalock for any alleged wrongdoings and push to have her inducted into the Hall of Fame. In the early '70s, Blalock was accused of cheating, suspended for a year, sued to continue to play, and as a result has worn a black eye for all of these years. In 1999, when the Hall of Fame committee changed the criteria for induction, many thought the bar was set to exclude Blalock, who comes up one point short. But her accomplishments are impressive: 26 wins, 12 years without missing a cut. Plus, because of her suit, Blalock is the reason the tour has an executive committee and I have a job -- even if it is for only a week. On the fifth day, I would make the ticket prices for all LPGA events $1.99. One of the reasons that the LPGA isn't more popular is because people haven't been afforded a chance to see the women play. At $20 for a one-day pass, I don't blame them. I think we need to get people through the gates, and once fans see that the women can play, they will come back. Plus, there is nothing more appalling than turning on the NBC telecast for the Big Apple Classic and being able to count with your fingers and toes the number of people in the galleries. On the sixth day, I would wave the American flag, round up all the passports and eliminate the "international player" status. There is no question that the influx of players from the likes of Sweden, Australia and Korea has greatly improved the tour, but it's time to force them to make a commitment. Currently, a foreign-born player has the right to declare herself an international player, allowing her to come and go as she pleases as long as she plays 15 events. This was fine 10 years ago, when there were only had a handful of foreigners. Now there are 72 on tour (which would make a pretty good field somewhere) and they should have to play more than 15 times. Otherwise, smaller tournaments, like Dayton and Corning, are hurt because sponsors and fans flee when they don't see a batch of big-name foreigners in the field. On the seventh day, I would call Tim Finchem over at the PGA Tour, or maybe just get in my car and make the hour drive from Daytona to Ponte Verde, Fla., and propose. A merger of the two professional golf tours would be an unconventional wedding, but one that could help both parties. The women would get instant credibility, while the men would get a marketing tool that they could use to leverage potential sponsors. And I wouldn't even mind working under Tim, as long as I can pull in his salary -- even for a week. That's what I would do. What about you? If you were commissioner for a week, what would you change about the LPGA tour? Tom Hanson, a regular contributor to Sports Illustrated's Golf Plus section, is a longtime caddie on the LPGA Tour. Click here to send him a question or comment.
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