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Thanks for watching Posted: Tuesday May 21, 2002 12:27 PM
SOUTH AUGUSTA, S.C. -- After receiving a host of e-mails about the shoddy TV coverage of the tour, I realize why ratings are up this year: Even though the telecasts are less invigorating, fans of the LPGA are still tuning in. My earlier comments sent waves of fear through the broadcasting industry. Last week at the Asahi Ryokuken International Championship here, Grant Boone of The Golf Channel stopped me between holes, got on his knees and pleaded to be spared from my hatchet. Well, Grant, you're in luck -- I wasn't able to watch TGC at the Augusta La Quinta.
I just wanted to commend you on your column about the awful LPGA announcers on ESPN. The coverage is painful to listen to, except when it's comical. Listening to Mary Bryan say every week how some undulation on a green "dissects" the green really drives me bananas!
Maria, I always thought the telecasts were comical, but perhaps I was confusing stupid mistakes and actual ha-ha funny. Now, an announcing crew of, say, Bill Murray, Chris Rock and Dennis Miller would be comical. I'd love to hear Miller describe the physics of why a putt breaks a certain way. The real problem is not the TV announcers, but the product. Unfortunately, women's sports have never been popular in the United States (with the sole exception of special events, i.e., World Cup, Olympics, etc.). I don't see this changing any time in the future. Do you?
Once again, Mark, you need to get out of the gym and stop looking at yourself in the mirror. Women golfers are very talented and extremely entertaining. They could be even more entertaining if the announcers revealed something about their personalities or knew the strengths of their games. Either no one at the LPGA cares about who works its broadcasts or they're in the process of grooming a new voice. Either way, even I would I would even put my name in the pool. Does the LPGA have any control over who can be in the booth??
Natalie, the LPGA does approve the announcers, but the networks are the ones who choose and hire the talent. Unlike this column, which the LPGA brass doesn't approve and which many tour officials say is the result of no talent. This may be a dumb question, but why doesn't Judy Rankin do LPGA events? Is it because her network does not televise them? I think she is excellent, both in golf knowledge and personality.
Since Judy is one of the few people at ESPN who is still talking to me, I put this question to her. She explained that her first obligation is to ABC, and then, when her schedule permits, she can take on an LPGA event for ESPN. "I would love to do more LPGA events," Rankin said. "But I have to go where ABC tells me to." (By the way, Bryan reacted like a true pro to the column, which has helped me sleep better.) You're an idiot, Hanson. Why not try to say something positive about the LPGA or those who cover it? I'm convinced that the PGA is totally committed to abolishing the LPGA because it realizes that the Senior tour is amongst the walking dead and the PGA (excepting majors) is not far behind.
Mike, how did you ever make the connection between me and the PGA Tour? You got me. Yes, I am an undercover double agent for the men's tour, whose mission is to seek out and destroy any tour on which Tiger Woods isn't playing. Earth to Mike: Read all of my columns, not just one. I agree wholeheartedly that the coverage of the LPGA is sad. The allotted time for telecasts is about half the amount allotted for the men; the players shown are not necessarily the leaders; and there are few holes covered, even in the majors. Networks should ask the winner from the previous week to give a tip of the day.
Diana, I really like your idea of the previous week's winner giving a tip, but there may be a problem: How many lessons could Annika Sorenstam come up with? Since she wins every other week, she easily could run out of things to say. Great column, Tom! You accurately described what goes on with each telecast. I hope the powers that be at ESPN and the LPGA read what you had to say and attempt to improve the quality of the broadcasts and broadcasters. I agree that you would be a fabulous LPGA TV person, because you are very knowledgeable about the tour and would be prepared.
Dear Mr. Brassfield (intelligent users deserve the utmost respect), I have yet to hear from ESPN or The Golf Channel about an audition, but once I do you will be the first to know. But don't hold your breath, because it would go against all of the networks' beliefs to hire someone who knows something and is willing to state an opinion. Don't give up so easily! Even if you are so ugly that people have to avert their eyes, you probably could still do the job of broadcasting golf. The fairway reporters are hardly ever seen, anyway. And unless you sound like a chipmunk, people will get used to your voice if what you say makes sense. Now, you're going to need a partner, maybe two. Two duffers and a former caddy. How's that sound for a broadcast team?
Hey, Mark, thanks for the words of encouragement and the offer. But what you suggest already exists. It's called ESPN broadcast teams. Tom Hanson, a regular contributor to Sports Illustrated's Golf Plus section, is a longtime caddie on the LPGA Tour. Click here to send him a question or comment.
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