For 46 years, former fashion designer Mr. Blackwell has been famously shredding the threads worn by celebrities, but his acid-tongued commentary could easily apply to the duds worn by teams in the four major pro leagues. Herewith, some of Mr. B's finer quips about such luminaries as Bjork and Mary-Kate Olsen affixed to the uniforms that most seem to fit his description.

"Looks like a rag doll trapped in a wind tunnel."