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That feeling of pure joy Posted: Wednesday January 23, 2002 4:08 PM
Canadian Veronica Brenner, 27, is considered a veteran in the sport of freestyle skiing. The aerialist was a member of the 1998 Canadian Olympic team and won the 1997 World Cup title. Brenner, a native of Scarborough, Ontario, missed the past World Cup season after tearing her ACL but is back on track to make the 2002 Olympic team. Check out Brenner's diary on CNNSI.com as she prepares for Salt Lake City. January 19, 2002 To borrow from novelist and philosopher Ayn Rand, yesterday Atlas shrugged. For weeks, much like Atlas in Greek mythology, I felt as though I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. Then, yesterday I won my first World Cup event since having knee surgery last December. I have been struggling with jumping ever since I started back on snow in November. The closer it came to the start of the competitive season, the more stressed I became. Although each day I improved, this past weekend I was just hoping to land my two jumps -- not win. All winter, during the long days of rehab, I stayed motivated by dreaming of the day I'd be back on top. I visualized not only the jumps I would perform, but also the feelings I would have after a great competition. Those feelings kept me going and made me work harder than I ever have. Yesterday when I landed my second jump, I was actually able to experience those feelings again. I didn't really care how I placed, only that I had finally done what I had wanted to do all of those months. I was so overwhelmed that I almost started to cry. I was shocked when my score was announced. I think I'm still in shock. An immediate lightness came over me. I sighed, my shoulders dropped and they didn't scrunch back up around my ears. As I wrote earlier, Atlas shrugged. How long has it been since I had that feeling of pure joy, the feeling that accompanies each win? Twenty-one months. Twenty-one months ago I won the last World Cup competition I competed in. For thirteen of those months, I did not know if I would ever feel that way again. Only the day before, my first competition back had been disastrous, I had placed 20th. And now here I was, standing on the top of the podium. As cheesy as it sounds, I felt like part of a fairy tale. I still have a lot of work to do before the Olympics in February. The jumps I performed yesterday are not difficult enough to win in Salt Lake City if other aerialists perform to their potential. Still, this win gives me confidence and hope. Confidence that had, until yesterday, eluded me,and hope that I had almost lost. I have had a few special victories in my career...my first World Cup win, my first World Cup win after a two-year dry spell, and a gold medal at the Goodwill Games (my only big event victory). Sunday I added another one to my list. -- Veronica
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