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Love, Sydney
I know who should get the 2008 Games. Sydney. Also 2012. And 2016. And 2020 through 3000. Sydney. Let's make it official. Sydney is now the Olympics' permanent home. Who keeps dating when they've already had Cindy Crawford? OK, we're going to have to get a little creative for the 2006 Sydney Winter Games, but it'll be worth it. Somebody figure out how we can put the ski jumping on Bondi Beach. I give up. This is the single most beautiful city in the world. Paris looks like Lubbock, Texas, compared to this. San Francisco ought to just scrape off and start over. You can't go 20 feet without bumping into another living postcard. Clean as Oprah's fork. Stunning views. The most breathtakingly blue harbor in the world. White city beaches. Cliffs. Parks. Koalas on every corner. And the way it works! Great, gleaming silver trains come every two minutes to whisk you to great, gleaming new train stations, where great, gleaming Sydney volunteers practically pick you up and fireman's carry you to great, gleaming stadiums, each one cooler than the last, all of them made out of recycled pop bottles and running entirely on solar energy and two cups of fresh rainwater. If I get pregnant, I'm naming my boy Sydney. If it's a girl, Sydney. Last night, I went to a party with a stunning view of the Opera House and the Sydney Harbor Bridge, all set against the spectacular hillside city skyline, all reflected on the dancing Technicolor waves of Sydney Harbour. Sometime just after Muhammad Ali wandered through but just before Chelsea Clinton -- right around the time the go-go dancer got up on the 15-foot-high fish tank -- a barge pulled up and started painting the sky with fireworks, just in case we weren't already catatonic with pleasure. Athens is a year behind with only four to go, right? No worries, boys! Let Sydney take care of 2004 and you can have 3004! I'm serious. Sydney 2008. I declare the Sydney Games open. May they never close. Have something to say about about Rick Reilly's musings? Click here to submit a comment.
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