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Get inside March Madness with SI.com's Luke Winn in the Tourney Blog, a daily journal of college basketball commentary, on-site reporting and reader-driven discussions.
4/01/2007 03:38:00 PM

Quality Meats at the Final Four

Tyler Hansbrough
Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

ATLANTA -- I'm sitting in the press room at the Georgia Dome, where reporters are at a sea of tables the width of a football field, writing their preview stories for Monday night's title game. Soon I'll get started on mine -- I've drawn the task of playing Captain Obvious and providing you with an airtight argument of why Florida will win -- but at present I'm on the Web site of online grocer FreshDirect, looking up prices of meat. USDA Prime filet mignon is $24.99 per pound (pricey, but the description reads, "one bite and you will understand why it's such a popular cut"). Their good Genoa Salami is only $6.49 per pound, and comes with no description. Filet's superiority to salami is rather obvious, but this provided solid supporting evidence.

Why does any of this matter? Because of Joakim Noah. Not because the Florida star requested that I shop for him, but because I keep laughing over one of his stock title-defense quotes, the general version of which goes like this:

"Last year our motto was P.H.D.: poor, hungry and driven. This year, it's harder because you've got to keep that P.H.D., but there's filet mignon everywhere around you and salami and all these great foods. It's hard, but at the end of the day, it's just extra focus and extra sacrifice."

In Noah's personal food-rating system, salami is as much of a delicacy as filet, $18.50 price difference be damned. This could (as some readers pointed out) be a French-gourmet thing, seeing that Noah grew up around Paris charcuteries, but I still have trouble putting them on the same pedestal. And if I'm a grocer in Gainesville, I'm changing the salami labels right now. The smart ones will at least double it to $13 per pound; one of Noah's other stock lines is "When we win, we all eat," which means that there's likely to be a run on steak and cold cuts when they return to campus with their second straight national title.
Greg Oden and Joakim Noah are enthralled by the media's questions.
AP (2)

For those of you upset that prime Sunday blogging space is being wasted on meat products, all I can say is, when you're at the Final Four, it's essential to keep an eye on Jo Noah at all times. He's the circus, whether you like it or not. He's the best quote, whether you're sick of listening to him or not. And he's by far the most intriguing star. Sit in on an Ohio State press conference -- like today's, for example -- and listen to Greg Oden follow up a Mike Conley Jr. quote with "what Mike said" for the second time, and you'll get my drift.

I get the feeling that Noah, despite his high entertainment value, is a hyperactive character who's not best-suited to sitting still for the media for extended periods of time. Colleague Stew Mandel said he watched Noah, in the locker room on Friday, pause between answering questions to get in a few seconds of playing Sonic the Hedgehog on his Sidekick 3. And although I have no confirmation on this, my instincts tell me Noah was texting jokes back-and-forth with Taurean Green while they were on the dais on Sunday, hiding their Sidekicks under the table. And still, when the Gators were egged on with a question about how Ohio State's Ron Lewis called the Buckeyes "great" and the Gators "good," it was Noah who immediately piped up to mock the reporter for trying to make it into a story.

In fake horror, Noah replied, "Oh my God! He said that!"

He then continued with a big grin, "No! What a bad person. I don't even know what else to say. I really don't know."

There have been more than a few times, over the past three weeks, where Noah has crossed the line from provocative to mildly nauseating, with all of his exaggerated talk about the "haters" wanting to see Florida fail. The Gators have been criticized, but not to that degree -- they were, after all, the overwhelming favorite to win it all entering this tournament. And yet I'm always happy that he's around, because the hyperbole is usually secondary to the quality lines he drops, such as saying on Sunday that "he grew up rock-and-roll," and telling a story of recently staying up until 6 a.m. with football player Tony Joiner, reminiscing about their careers at Florida.

Late Saturday night, in the locker room after beating UCLA for the second straight year, Noah had a small group of reporters around him, and launched into a great rant on the old, Bill Walton-era Bruins, who won back-to-back titles in 1972-73:

"Today I was just flipping through the channels, and HBO had a special on UCLA in the 1970s with Bill Walton. [It's called The UCLA Dynasty.] That really inspired me, that whole story. I didn't know about that team. I knew that John Wooden won a lot of championships. Coach Wooden -- is that his name? John Wooden? [Reporters say yes, many of them trying to suppress laughter.] John Wooden won a lot of championships, and he was an unbelievable coach. But I didn't know too much about the team itself, and it was really interesting to see Bill Walton and his stance on the war in Vietnam -- just his protesting. [Noah had initially protested going to the White House after Florida's national title, because he's against the Iraq War.] He was an All-American, he was such a big popular figure out there, and he didn't care, because it was all about his heart and what he believed in. He and coach Wooden had their differences, but coach Wooden would let him be himself, because that's just who Bill Walton was, and that was really interesting. If anything, I felt like that got me excited to play today. Got me hyped. So thanks, UCLA!"

I interviewed Walton as a part of our Kevin Durant package in February (the SI cover story, and a long feature on the Web site), and my favorite quote was about the contrast of his on- and off-court relationships with Wooden. Speaking about his freshman season in Westwood, Walton said, "In the controlled environment of a John Wooden practice, I was able to learn and develop and mature. And off the court, coach kept shaking his head and saying, 'What are you doing?'"

I suspect Gators coach Billy Donovan could sympathize with Wooden's situation. Iconic players like Noah and Walton come along about as often as repeat national champs, though, and the mild headaches they cause are well worth the entertainment -- and the rewards.

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posted by Luke Winn | View comments |

Comments:

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Posted: April 1, 2007 6:28 PM   by Blogger Jason
He probably meant French salami, not Hebrew National. Ok, still not as expensive but probably damn good.
Posted: April 1, 2007 6:31 PM   by Blogger Jason
Perhaps he meant something a little more impressive, as you'd find at a charcuterie in France. Still not as expensive as a filet but but definitely a luxury item.
Posted: April 3, 2007 12:39 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
I think we can all agree, we don't need to mention Noah and Walton in the same sentence ever again. Unless that sentence is "Bill Walton is possibly the greatest college player of all time, and Noah is not."
Posted: April 3, 2007 9:20 AM   by Blogger CaboCrazed
Noah - you look like a girl - no disrespect to girls. You're a punk.
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