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4/23/2007 04:41:00 PM
Things We'll See on Draft Day
By Andrew Perloff, SI.com
Jets fans keep things lively at the NFL draft every year.
In some households, the NFL Network is now an option on draft day, but for the most part, Saturday is ESPN's time to shine. After 28 years of ESPN's draft-day coverage, we have a pretty good idea of what we'll see. Here are five things you're guaranteed to observe this weekend:
1. Flashback to the Jets' choice of Jeff Lageman ... Every year, Jets fans add drama by vocally critiquing the team's picks. And you know ESPN will show video of the 1989 draft when, to the dismay of the New York audience, Gang Green selected Virginia linebacker Jeff Lageman.
2. At least one reference to Kiper's Trev Alberts rip ... ESPN's draft guru made an even bigger name for himself when he ripped the Colts for taking Alberts fifth overall in the 1994 draft, prompting Indy GM Bill Tobin to ask: "Who the hell is Mel Kiper?"
3. At least one player will look miserable when he has to put on his new team's cap ... Think Eli Manning two years ago donning a Chargers cap.
4. Someone will be shown sitting at home and waiting to be drafted for way too long ... Usually the most uncomfortable moment of the event (other than the poor fashion choices from the early draft picks).
5. Hair jokes, and lots of 'em ... Who can resist commenting on Kiper's famous 'do?
All right, it's your turn. Tell me what else we can look forward to seeing this weekend?
This year's draft will have a new component - the Arrest Likelihood Index (ALI). Teams will be able to buy insurance that will help offset the cost of playing time lost to incarceration or suspension. Premiums will be based on the value of the ALI.
A staged debate between ESPN talking heads that goes like this:
Kiper: Player X is a horrible pick for the (Insert Team). They need (another position) and wasted their pick on Player X.
Salisbury: Player X is the most talented player they could take at that pick, and they made an EXCELLENT pick. He'll immediately help their (defense, offense, special teams, water distribution) and I expect great things out of him.
Berman: I am God.
Tom Jackson: Yes you are.
John Clayton: Salisbury, you're an idiot. Player Y was a much better choice for the (Team). They should have traded up to get Player Y.
The Lions pick Calvin Johnson. Then trade all of their fifth round picks in a series of deals, ending up with a late 1st round pick. Then they pick Dwayne Jarrett. Matt Millen is given a 12 year extension.
Oh, and the Jets will give their fans acid reflux by picking another TE in the first round (see Johnny Mitchell, Kyle Brady)
I love watching the Heisman being devalued even more and more with every passing pick, proving that its worth is gone unless they find a new way of picking a really deserving winner. Anyone for a Nebraska QB....err.. I meant safety...or wr...what was he anyway?
Miller Lite's stock will go up at least $.25 a share thanks mostly in part to the Draft Party in Kenosha Wisconsin. Let me explain... Every year a group of us Navy Veterans who served together on the mighty warship USS Wasp get together with a crazy group of Cheeseheads from all over the state of Wisconsin. We fly from opposite ends of the US to meet up in Wisconsin just to watch the draft together. Of course quite a few cold tasties are consumed. After the draft, those who can still walk, make their way down to the local watering hole and belly up until bar time. Long story short, you can bet on that happening at this years draft.