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We rank 'em. You react. That's how the Daily List rolls.7/30/2007 12:46:00 PM Five worst possible batting theme songs
By Lang Whitaker, SI.com
The Backstreet Boys are OK for the national anthem, but not for the song you want played when you come to bat.Photo by AP
We're used to it by now: A baseball player strides from the on-deck circle toward the plate, just as a song of that player's choice blares from the PA system. I'm reminded of this each time Chipper Jones walks to an at bat during a Braves game and the opening riffs of "Crazy Train" thunder through Turner Field. I never liked "Crazy Train," but for some reason it just seems right as a batting theme song. There are, however, many more bad choices than good. Here are my top five worst possible batting theme songs.
1. As Long As You Love Me by The Backstreet Boys: I'll admit it's a catchy song, but it's also light and fluffy and completely unthreatening. Nobody wants to hear a plaintive acoustic guitar in a baseball stadium.
2. Brand New Key by Melanie: My friend Bill once told me this would be his theme song if he ever made the majors, just because it would confuse the heck out of everyone in the stands. He also said he would skip to the plate as it played.
3. Dude (Looks Like A Lady) by Aerosmith: Self-explanatory.
4. We Are The World by USA for Africa: Great message, great cause, well-written song. Just not a song for an at bat.
5. I'm In Love With A Stripper by T. Pain and Mike Jones: One of the catchiest songs of the last few years. Some fans would surely recognize it, but is that really the message you want to project when you're coming to bat?
What's the worst batting theme song you can come up with? Let us know below...
Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine and writes daily at SLAMonline.composted by SI.com | View comments |
Comments:
1. Disco Inferno - Bernie Williams actually used this...awful.
2. Anything by Linkin Park - incredibly played out in the league.
3. Tom Saywer by Rush - worst song ever from the worst band ever.
4. Cotton Eye Joe - horrendous.
5. Why don't we get drunk and screw by Jimmy Buffet - great bar song that would just be awkward at the ball park.5. Angel (Lionel Richie)
4. Man, I Feel Like a Woman (Shania Twain)
3. You're Beautiful (James Blunt)
2. Bye Bye Bye ('N Sync)
1. I Will Always Love You (Whitney Houston)
I really don't think it could get any more embarrassing than coming out to the last chorus of either of the last two songs.How about "Another One Bites The Dust"... Not really the message you wanna portray stepping up to the plateDress you up - MadonnaAt the Yankees game a few weeks ago Derek Jeter came out to "Imma Flirt" by R. Kelly and I almost fell out of my seat laughing. Then A-Rod came out to "This is Why I'm Hot" by Mims which was also quite perfect since he has to inform people of his greatness rather than just being accepted by the home crowd. Both of those killed me.I think anything by Bjork would qualify as bad entrance music.Gotta be "I touch myself"It's Raining Men would be interesting.ANYTHING by Michael Bolton!!!The Barney Song hands downIt's Raining MenMy softball team thought it'd be funny to have songs for each of us, so I chose "Maria" from West Side Story, which is a terrible choice, but was nonetheless funny.How about "Hit Me With Your Best Shot" by Pat Benatar.
The appropriate time to play it would be when the batter follows a home run.Blinded by the Light-by Bruce Springsteen. Appropriate music following a really bad call by the ump.I think it would be a toss-up between "I Saw the Sigh" by Ace of Base or "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by George MichaelDon't forget "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake"Summer Girls". LFO.
I win.How 'bout Tiptoe Thru The Tulips" by Tiny Tim"loser" by beck1. Little Drummer Boy
2. No More I Love You's
3. Kyle's Mom's a B@&$! (When someone like Kyle Farnsworth is pitching of course)
4. Hard Out There for a Pimp (though Justin Morneau knows it is hard out there for a Canadian pimp)
5. You Got the Touch! (actually this song would be awesome...from Boogie Nights/the first Transformers movie).1). I'm a Loser - The Beatles
2). Venus de Milo - Miles Davis
3). Lollipop - The Chordettes
4). Close to You - The Carpenters
5). Go the Distance - Michael BoltonThe Phils are the worst team for this... Chase Utley used to come out to the Vengaboys song from the Great Adventure bus with the old guy, and Pat Burrell still comes to back to "Holy Diver" by Dio."Closer" by Nine Inch Nailsheres are my list from michael jackson
1) beat it - please pop-up that homerun
2) bad - to intimidate those nasty pitchers
3) black or white - baseball knows no color
4) smooth criminal - for balco frequenters
5) thriller - should be played before the would be 9th inning lead-off hit1) Through the fire by Chaka Khan - through the limits, through the wall but very cheesy
2)Mr. Roboto by Styx - would be good by '80s but very much outdated
3)The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel - we don't want a batter box the pitcher. lol
4)Karma Chameleon by Culture Club - very un-manly
5)Fighter by Christina Aguilera - nice message but best played on Women CWS
Bunos
6)Opps I did it again by britney spears - somewhere between a third stiker or a broken corked bat. lolIts easy, Dancing Queen would be the worst.
I once saw John Smoltz, back when he was closer, hed never pick his own music for when he ran from the bullpen to the mound. Well, never until they played Dancing Queen.Vanilla Ice or Milli VanilliI Can't Get No Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones.
I'm too sexy by Right Said Fred
Blaze of Glory by Bon Jovi
Take My Breath Away by Berlin
and
Goodnight Saigon by Billy Joel
Can you imagine, "We said we'd all go down together...Take My Breath Away...Shot Down in a Blaze of Glory...I'm too sexy for...or I Can't get Nooo Satisfaction..." coming over the loudspeaker right after the Charge cheer. Hilarious.The theme from Mission Impossible probably doesn't instill confidence at the plate...The Gummy Bears Theme Song by RockapellaHow about "Help" by the Beetles."Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits"U + UR Hand" PinkI want to see a batter stare down a pitcher with Boys 2 Men's "I'll make love to you" blaring through the stadium.We Belong Together - Mariah CareyOops I Did it Again by Brittney Spears. Worse of all time"Supermodel" by Rupaul
"Somewhere Over the Rainbow""Loser" by Beck or "Detatchable Penis"5. Hangin Tough (New Kids)
4. I will always love you
3. Achy Breaky Heart
2. Sunglasses at Night (Corey Hart)
1. Pumps and a Bump (MC Hammer)Emil Brown of the Royals has used "I'm not ready to make nice" by the Dixie Chicks a number of times this season.Right Said Fred...Im Too SexyI Touch Myself by the DivinylsShouldn't it be a list of actual plate music considering nobody in their right mind would pick any of those songs?
That being said, "We Built This City" by Starship should never be played in public.Rape Me by NirvanaBack when Rafael Palmiero was a commercial pitchman for Viagra, the Philadelphia Phillies used to infuriate Palmiero by playing the "Woody Woodpecker Theme Song" when Palmiero came up to bat in Philadelphia.I Wanna Sex You Up - Color Me Badd
I'm too Sexy - Right Said Fred
I Feel Like Making Love - Bad Company
Like a Virgin - Madonna
You know I'm No Good - Amy WinehouseWhat they should play everytime Barry comes to bat:
1. Dirty Little Secrets - All American Rejects
2. I Touch Myself - The Divinyls
3. I'll Keep Holdin' On - Simply Red
4. Like a Virgin - Madonna
5. Dust in the Wind - KansasHow about a 5 'best' to hear when coming to bat:
1. Right Here Right Now - Fatboy Slim
2. Man in the Box - Alice in Chains
3. Tough Enough - The Fabulous Thunderbirds
4. Showdown - E L O
5. Welcome to the Jungle - Guns n Roses
Don't forget PacMan's new fave: "Losing a Whole Year" (Third Eye Blind)Pop goes the weasel...actually that could be one of the best...but the batter would have to hop into the batter's box right as the song goes "Pop!"1.Come to my Window - 2. Like a Virgin -
3. When i think about you i touch myself - awkward
4.Centerfield - if you dont play centerfield
5. Leaving on a Jetplane - inappropriate in a contract yearHow about Tragedy by the Bee Gees. Wouldn't excactly encourage the hitter.Hey There Delila by the Plain Whie T's. Unless of course you are trying to get traded to the Yankees or Mets.1. "Its Raining Men" The Weather Girls
2."My Heart Will Go On" Celine Dion
3."Invisible" Clay Aiken
4."One More Try" George Michael
5."Barbie Girl" AquaI was at the Metrodome in Minneapolis this past Friday to watch the Twins host the Indians. Nick Punto came to bat with 'I'm walking on sunshine' and I wanted to puke!These are all bad, and I've heard them all at games:
"Glamorous" by Fergie
"Umbrella" by Rhianna
"Margaritaville"u Jimmy Buffet"Memory" from _Cats_.How about..."Don't bring me down..." by ELORecent Posts
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