Subscribe to SI
Give the Gift of SI
Extra MustardSI On CampusFantasyPhoto GalleriesSwimsuitVideoFanNationSI KidsTNT
Daily ListBack to Extra Mustard
We rank 'em. You react. That's how the Daily List rolls.
11/16/2007 03:09:00 PM

Who Should Be Bonds' Lawyer?

Barry Bonds
Barry Bonds needs a lawyer.
Alberto E. Rodriguez/AP
By Lang Whitaker, SI.com

I don't know if you've heard, but Barry Bonds was indicted last night. Regardless of how you feel about Bonds, he is going to have to mount a seamless defense in federal court if he hopes to avoid prison time. Here are five options for Barry to consider when it comes time to select a trial lawyer.

1. Stephon Marbury: It hasn't been the best week for Starbury, but he's shown himself to be awfully persuasive. After all, he skipped out on his team and allegedly threatened his coach, then talked everyone into letting him return as though nothing had happened.

2. Mike Francesa: On his show today, the NYC radio god has already begun discussing possible defense tactics for Bonds, including moving for a change of venue. Francesa is also a masterful talker, capable of intoxicating a jury with his multi-pronged arguments.

3. Scott Boras: The California-based agent is an attorney by trade, so he's not new to courtrooms. Also, with Alex Rodriguez now negotiating his contracts without help from Boras, he probably has some free time.

4. Paul Teutul, Sr.: The father from "American Chopper" is always arguing with his sons, so he understands how to mount a defense. Also, he's bigger than Bonds and would demand Barry's full attention.

5. Pacman Jones: If anyone really knows the ins and outs of the legal system by now, it's Pacman.

Who else should defend Barry Bonds? Let us know below…

Lang Whitaker is the executive editor of SLAM magazine and writes daily at SLAMonline.com
posted by SI.com | View comments |

Comments:

Post a Comment
Posted: November 16, 2007 6:40 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Dr. Bruce Banner aka The Incredible Hulk. He knows a thing or two about bulking up, plus he's a Dr., so he can give medical defense about why Barry (or at least his head) has grown so humongous.
Posted: November 18, 2007 8:16 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Lance Armstrong has a proven tactic. Although, it may cost Barry his left n*tt.
Posted: November 18, 2007 10:47 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
how about teflon O. J. Simpson he seems to be a winner in the courts
Posted: November 19, 2007 12:23 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Maybe they need to dig up Johnny
Cochran. Dead, he is a better attorney, then the live one Barry Bonds has now.
Posted: November 19, 2007 1:33 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
nice job, Actualy Boras used to be Bonds agent.
Posted: November 19, 2007 4:07 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Jackie Chiles of course. Don't you always have a Seinfeld reference? Oops, that's another SI blog.
Posted: November 19, 2007 5:32 PM   by Blogger Bill
How about Drew Peterson's lawyer? Looks like Bonds wouldn't have to say a word if he retained that barrister.
Posted: November 19, 2007 11:36 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Anyone from the Cubs would do. They're used to losing.
Posted: November 21, 2007 12:15 AM   by Anonymous Anonymous
Allen Iverson: "Steroids? We're talking about steroids? Not his Home Run record...not his NL MVPs...but steroids? Not the game he loves to play...Steroids? Steroids...steroids" THAT would be awesome!
Posted: November 26, 2007 6:30 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
The Giants fans. They stuck by that loser for so long . . . why give up on him now?
Posted: November 26, 2007 9:13 PM   by Anonymous Anonymous
nice article Wang!
Posted: November 27, 2007 12:14 PM   by Anonymous Brian
Jackie Chiles! If the needle does not fit, you must acquit.
Post a Comment
Daily List
divider line
Search